Food for Thought…

Several years ago, I showed my high school graduation picture to one of my husband’s co-workers – why is a long story.  But his response when he saw it was (and I quote), “Wow, you used to be pretty.”  On another occasion, I went to a local donut shop to get a cup of coffee.  The newly hired server had to ask the manager for help to prepare my selection.  Then when it was time to pay, I received the “senior discount”.  The young server questioned the manager’s decision to give me the discount as she had not seen my ID.  To which, the manager replied (and I quote), “If they look old enough, give them the discount”.  I was not a ‘senior’ at that point.  I share these rather embarrassing experiences with you as examples of how words communicate.

Now, I easily could have been offended in either of those situations.  But I wasn’t.  Why?  Because neither person who spoke really meant any harm.  And because I don’t take myself too seriously.  I have learned that it is healthier to let ill-chosen words roll of my back than it is to harbor them.  Usually the people who say these kinds of hurtful things, don’t do it intentionally.  So why should I be angry with them or take their words to heart?  And if I’m honest with myself, I was pretty in high school, and I’ve always looked older than I am. 😊 So there is no reason to let these passing words bother me.  I have told both of those stories on many occasions, and they always generate lots of laughter.

Words are the foundation of our communication.  We speak words, we hear words, we read words, we translate words into ideas and vice versa. Think about how we teach children to talk.  We show them an image and tell them the word that it represents.  We even identify ourselves by words. Remember the thrill it was to hear your child say, “mama” or daddy” for the first time?  This word-based teaching is also used for children’s behavior.  A child quickly learns the word, “NO” because they hear it so often. 

We understand communication in our minds by the use of words.  Words convey images, and we communicate those images by words.  It is a marvelous cycle of speech hearing and sight working together.  Words can have a profound effect on our lives.  Therefore, we must guard the words we take in as well as the words we give out.

There are times when people say very hurtful words purposefully – usually in a fit of anger, jealousy, or frustration.  These words are often cruel attacks that are not true, or at least are greatly exaggerated.  But true or not, they are hurtful none-the-less.  How do we deal with these kinds of words?  If we can’t resolve the issue with calm agreement, we must determine what we are going to do with those harsh words that we can’t unhear in our minds.

I often think of my mind like a bank vault full of safety deposit boxes.  I have the most frequently opened boxes toward the front for easy access.  These hold the most relevant information for my day to day living and are organized by priority.  Then there are boxes for other information that are arranged by frequency of use.  And way in the back as far away as possible, are boxes that I use to lock up all the information that I don’t want to think about.

We can take those hurtful words spoken in the heat of an argument and lock them up securely in the back corner of our vault.  As those boxes remain untouched, they begin to rust.  And as they rust, they become more difficult to open.  Eventually their rusty state overshadows our inclination to open them, and the contents of those boxes fade from thought.  These boxes can help us refute all of the unprofitable information that comes into our minds.

Have you ever written a letter?  Oops, just dated myself – written an email?  Maybe you just met someone and spent time getting to know them; or stayed up late talking with a friend.  How about sharing the deep feelings of your heart with a loved one; or talking on the phone with a far-away relative?  All of these involve words.  Our relationships require communication, and communication requires words.  Now don’t get me wrong, communication involves more than words alone.   Inflection, tone, facial expressions, eye contact, touch, actions, etc. are all involved in effective communication.  This is evidenced by how often an email or text is misunderstood.  In the course of speaking, those things accentuate the words for clarity and emphasis.  But they can also undermine our words.  For example, a wife says, “I’m fine”, but she is crying.  Her husband doesn’t believe her words.  Conversely, a husband smiles and says, “you look nice tonight”.  His smile has given credence to his words. 

Relationships are a vital part of our lives.  And words are a vital part of relationships.  Words are how we get to know someone.  And words are how we unveil ourselves.  Think about one of your fondest relationships.  Different things may have sparked an attraction, but the relationship developed by getting to know each other through conversation — words.  And it grew by continuing to share personal and heartfelt words.  Being able to talk about anything including your most intimate thoughts is a big part of any satisfying relationship. 

The words we speak can make or break a friendship, or any other bond.  The Bible refers to the tongue as an “unruly evil, full of deadly poison.” (James 3:8)  That is figuratively referring to the tongue as it is used for an organ of speech.  With our tongue, we carelessly blurt out hurtful words that we don’t really mean.  With our tongue, we criticize, judge, and condemn one another.  With our tongue, we are quick to revel in someone’s misfortune.  With our tongue, we speak hateful words that can cut someone to the bone or break their heart.  Therefore, it is crucial that we make every effort to control the words that come out of our mouths, and not permit ourselves to utter any of those kinds of words.  A good rule to follow is “speak as you would like to be spoken to”.

Of course I cannot talk about words without considering the greatest words of all time-the Bible!  The Bible is called the Word of God because it is God’s communication to us.   With words, God reveals Himself to us.  With words, He directs our steps.  His words set us free.  His words never fail.  When we make God’s words, our words, our speech will be seasoned with grace and sprinkled with love, so we won’t fall into the trap of speaking hurtful callous words like the world throws at us.  When we speak God’s words, they will accomplish the things that God wants accomplished because they have power.  Think about it… we can speak the words that lead a soul to salvation!  How great is that?  We can speak words of deliverance, words of kindness, words of truth, and words of health.  What a privilege God has given us!

So the next time you open your mouth, think about your words before they are voiced.  Do your best to speak only words that bless people, not tear them down.  Words that will encourage people, not discourage them.  Words that you would like to hear. 

Note to my readers:  Words are a big part of my life.  I hope my words have blessed you today!  You’re the best!  Thanks for reading. 

With so much unrest in the world today, it seems like we all could use a little more peace.  I know I could! 

There are basically two kinds of peace in our lives, outside peace and inside peace.  The two go hand in hand in many situations, but not always.  Our inside peace is not necessarily related to our outside peace.  It is available to be peaceful inside in a bad situation, just as we can be unpeaceful when nothing is wrong. 

When the craziness of the world is encroaching on us, we will often seek a peaceful place to which we can escape.  Maybe we retreat to nature, or curl up with a good book, or even take a luxurious bubble bath.  Immersing ourselves in quiet surroundings and doing something we enjoy can help us combat the world’s insanity and put our minds at ease.  This is not a bad practice.  The Bible says that Jesus Christ sought quiet solitude on multiple occasions.  (Example, Mark 1:38) 

The reason we seek peaceful surroundings is to gain peace on the inside.  The chaos of the world is very unsettling, and sometimes it can rob us of our inside peace.  Perhaps there are situations in our lives that seem insurmountable.  Those times can certainly send our minds into a flurry of unpeaceful thoughts.  Finding a tranquil environment helps us regroup.  Our external surroundings can provide calming affects, but to really have peace on the inside takes more than that.  It takes an internal conviction. 

The most peaceful thing in this world is God’s peace.  It is perfect peace (Isaiah 26:3), and God gives it to His people (Psalm 29:11).  In John 14:27, Jesus Christ says that the peace he gives is not as the world gives.  God’s peace is what we need.  This is the peace that guards our hearts and minds.  It is the peace that allows us to be patient and assures us of God’s answers to our prayers.  It is the peace that keeps our minds focused on our future in heaven.

Even though God generously provides His peace, the realization of that peace happens when we believe God’s words.  Did you know that every Pauline Epistle includes the words, “peace from God” in the salutation?  It must be an important thing for us to have.  It is!  When we are filled with God’s peace, we will rise above our circumstances rather than our circumstances taking us down.  When we have that peace, we will be able to see positives instead of negatives, see the big picture, see the light at the end of the tunnel and those things, in turn, will give us the peaceful assurance that we’ll be okay.

In practice, we must claim God’s peace in our minds.  We must fight for truth and not allow the world to talk us out of it.  I heard a teacher call peace, “the state of undisturbed believing”.  Isn’t that what we all want?  Those stupid thoughts that creep into our minds and cause us to doubt and worry will be defeated by the peace of God that surpasses our understanding. 

So when the world starts raising a ruckus in your mind, it’s not a bad idea to take some time to secure an outside peace so that you can restore your inside peace with God.  Then allow that peace to flood your mind with its comforting encouragement.  When you do that, you open the door for God to go to work by your undisturbed believing. 

I referenced more scriptures than usual in this post because it really is the peace of God that we need in this world today.  The best that the world can provide for people is a false sense of security that can be taken away at any time.  When we trust God and look to Him to take care of us, we will have a peace that the world cannot take away.  We will live above the madness!

John 16:33

These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.

Note to my readers:  Peace!   Thanks for reading. 

Dictionary.com defines routine as:

1. A customary or regular course of procedure.
2. Commonplace tasks, chores, or duties as must be done regularly or at specified intervals; typical or everyday activity
3. Regular, unvarying, habitual, unimaginative, or rote procedure.
4. An unvarying and constantly repeated formula, as of speech or action; convenient or predictable response

As you can see from the definitions, the word ‘routine’ can carry negative connotations as well as positive ones.  Especially in my youth, I thought of ‘routine’ as something mundane and boring.  Who wanted that?  But as I’ve gotten older, I relish my routine.  My routine is no longer boring or mundane, it is a welcomed, even necessary part of organizing my day by day activities. 

When I was a kid and we visited my grandparents in Maine, our mornings were always scheduled around my grandfather’s routine.  It never varied and it included him sitting in his chair and shaving with his electric razor for 15 minutes.  Then he would splash Aqua Velva on his face and wait a few more minutes for it dry.  Now, 15+ minutes was like an eternity to a kid who was ready to go out and have fun.  So with all the kindness of a spoiled child, I would groan and complain throughout the whole process.  Looking back at the orneriness of my grandpa, he probably shaved for 5 minutes when we weren’t there, but he was all about teaching me lessons.  He accomplished his task.  But I often wonder if he knew that it would take me many years to understand and appreciate his lessons.  I bet he did.

Generally, when we were young, we yearned for excitement.  We were happy if no two days were alike.  We steered away from routines except for maybe school or sports.  Then as we aged, routines became more necessary.  College, jobs, families etc. demanded at least a semblance of a routine.  Even more so as our families grew.  Getting one child to football practice, another to ballet and a third to the library after working all day; and making sure homework got done, lunches were made, and clothes were washed took a regular organized effort – otherwise known as a routine. 

Think about it.  Jobs and schools have routine schedules, routine procedures, and routine meetings.  We care for our cars with routine maintenance.  We care for ourselves with routine physicals.  We are surrounded by routines!  However, even though routines may be necessary, they must be kept in proper perspective.  Sometimes people can be so focused on their routine that their lives become “all work and no play”.  This can be as detrimental as the “all play and no work” lifestyle of having no routine.  Life must be kept in balance.

A routine can help us keep our priorities straight and make sure we have time for the really important things in life.  Things like reading our Bibles, prayer, going to fellowship or church, family time, date nights, even relaxation should be part of our regular routines. 

Time marches on and we reach retirement age.  The kids are grown.  Our jobs are done.  No more routines.  Au contraire!  Routines become a crucial element of keeping us productive.  It can be easy, without the structure of a job or family, to become lazy or at least unfocused.  You hear about it all the time.  People retire and end up sitting on the couch and watching TV all day.  Not much of a life!  Routines can help us avoid that fate. 

When you think about it, it’s actually exciting.  You get to determine your own routine!  For most of our adult lives, we worked and /or raised families.  Our routines centered around the requirements of those responsibilities.  Now we can determine our own activities and make our routines accordingly.  The things that we always wanted to do, but never had enough time for, can be built into our routine.s  Of course, even in retirement we have responsibilities, like my husband still wants to eat and we still need clean clothes, but our time is much freer to plan and enjoy other activities.  Hobbies, classes, exercising, book clubs, volunteer work, even writing a blog can be worked into our retirement routines without the concern that we’re taking too much time away from other duties. 

I will admit that thoughts of retiring arose in my mind a few years before I actually retired.  Some of my friends had started retiring and that sounded very enticing.  But at that time, I realized that I wasn’t ready for retirement because I needed the structure of a job to keep me on track.  I didn’t have a real plan for my future.  I didn’t have goals or ideas to pursue in retirement.  I would have become one of those couch-sitting TV watchers! 

During those years, however, I began to develop my goals and aspirations for the next phase of my life.  I made lists, I talked frequently about my ideas and formulated my thoughts.  So when the actual day of my retirement came, I was ready. 

Much has happened since that day.  And I’m still working toward my goals and aspirations.  But I’ve learned that without some kind of routine, it isn’t always easy to accomplish what I want to.  There are days when my brain just wanders around bumping into things as it tries to figure out what I should be doing.  There are days when my will fades into oblivion (those are TV watching days).  And there are days when I just get sidetracked.  In any of these situations my routine helps me get back on track.  It reminds me of what I need to get done and gives me ideas for my extra time.  It allows me to be successful in the things that I want and need to accomplish.

Routines are a good thing, and a positive aid for managing our time.  But we can’t get so caught up in our routines that we miss out on the glorious things of life.  Remember to always include love, laugher and giving in your routine.  Don’t be afraid to deviate from your routine schedule if you just need to have some FUN!  But if you find yourself sitting on the couch all day and doing nothing – dust off your routine and get moving! 

Note to my readers:  My blog is a big part of my routine.  Not because it’s a duty, but because it’s a joy.  I hope you continue to enjoy reading it. 

Last week I visited with a couple of my longtime friends.  (I say ‘longtime’ rather than ‘old’ for obvious reasons. 😊)  It was a delightful relaxing visit that refreshed our souls.  After returning home, I began to think about friendships.  Why do certain people become our friends?  Why do some friendships last, while others wane?  How do we maintain friendships?

Friendships are an integral part of our life.  Of course, our families are usually our first loves, but friendships can carry us through the ups and downs of life, sometimes when our families can’t.  We all need friends.  And when our friends are family members, that’s a real blessing! 

There are different kinds of friends.  There are neighbors or co-workers with whom we are friendly.  They make our lives pleasant.  There are friends with whom we may have common interests.  We may enjoy spending time with them centered around that interest.  But what happens if those interests change?  Circumstances may change or we may just change our minds about our interests, then those friendships tend to fade into the background.  So there must be more than pleasantries and common interests in a strong and lasting friendship.

There are.  Many other factors are involved.  For example: personalities, understanding, acceptance, agreement, trust, encouragement, honesty, compassion, laughter, loyalty, and beliefs.  All these and more are involved in a strong and lasting friendship. 

Personalities may draw us to others, whether it’s a personality much like our own, or one that is so different, that it intrigues us.  It is usually someone’s personality that first catches our attention.   However, we can’t always go with our first impressions.  Have you ever initially thought less of someone who turned out to be really great?  Never judge a book by its cover.  But when personalities mesh, friendships begin to blossom.

But there is still more to a strong and lasting friendship than personalities.  I often say to my friends, “you know me and you’re still my friend?”  I say that with tongue in cheek, but I do marvel sometimes that my friends still like me even after my melt-downs or the stupid things I say or do.  This is where acceptance and understanding come into play.  Friends look past frailties and faults and are kind.  But they are also honest and encourage us (even reprove us) to help us get back on track when we are making mistakes. 

All of us have deep feelings and concerns.  We may have secrets or inner pains.  Friends can be our confidants regarding these innermost thoughts.  They will have compassion for our pains and be loyal to keep our secrets.  Friends can share their hearts with each other and build lasting bonds of trust and understanding.

Having a friend who can make us laugh is a joyous benefit.  There are so many times in life that we just need to laugh.  Worldly circumstances can be discouraging and overwhelming.  Those are the times that we may need a distraction from the weight of the world, and laughter is a great remedy.  Sometimes a friend who can make us laugh in the face of adversity can help our us to collect our thoughts so that we can get through a difficult time.  And really, laughing with friends is just plain fun! 

Of course, our beliefs are a vital part of a strong and long lasting friendship.  It can be difficult or impossible to be friends with someone whose beliefs oppose our own.  Now to be clear, I’m not talking about opinions or even accepted schools of thought.  I’m talking about our deeply held life-guiding beliefs that are at the very core of our being.  We can put certain ideas aside and maintain a friendship, but without an agreement on our core beliefs, we won’t have enough to build a strong friendship on.  At best we can be friendly, but we won’t achieve a heart-connection.  We won’t be able to talk about the things that really matter to us. 

A lot of my friendships are with like-minded Christians because we have so much in common.  We share our beliefs and our interests are commonly centered around God’s Word.  We trust one another, treat each other with honest respect, and have compassion when it’s needed.  We encourage each other and accept each other for who we are.  And we are not afraid to laugh about life.  These are some of the qualities that I want my friendships to be built upon.  I gravitate toward those who show these qualities and I endeavor to exhibit them myself. 

I’m certainly not saying that only Christians can be friends.  But I am saying that whether we are Christians or not, we should determine what qualities we want in a friendship and demonstrate those qualities ourselves.  Like my mom always said, “if you want a friend, be a friend.”  If you want a long-lasting friendship, be the kind of friend that you want to spend time with.    

I pray that you all have many sweet long-lasting friendships that refresh your souls.  And if you have a friend that you haven’t talked to for a while, why not give them a call?  Tell them how thankful you are for their friendship.  I bet you’ll be glad that you did! 

Note to my readers:  I truly appreciate your friendship, more than you know.  And thanks for reading! 

Recently, I had back to back visits with my sons’ families.  It was a delightful time!  Grandchildren are the best!  Especially mine. (I may be biased.)   But as always, our time was also one of reflecting on my children at similar ages and even myself at their age.  How fast time flies!  You hear it all the time- “seems like only yesterday”.  And as you get older, it really seems impossible that so much time has passed in such a short period.  Anyway…

My oldest grandson is 15 and closing in on the “magic” age of 16.  Sixteen, when all of life changes because you can get your driver’s license!  Oh how I yearned for that freedom!  Wheels would bring the world to my doorstep.  I could fly down the road with the wind in my hair and go places I had never been before.  It would be one giant step toward adulthood and being my own boss!  Well, at least that’s how I looked at it back then.  Since this was a topic of conversation while my grandson was here, I began to reminisce about my 16^th year of life. 

I turned 16 in February of my Sophomore year in high school.  I asked for driving lessons for my birthday.  One could take Driver’s Ed in school for free, but the classes were full for the year.  So my birthday present would be to get lessons, so I didn’t have to wait until the next school year to drive.  (That would have been absolute torture!) 

I can still see my driving instructor.  He was a young man.  Well, I say that now – he was younger than my parents, but at 16 he was still old.  He was short, but again compared to my 6’3” dad, he was probably average height.  He was extremely patient and well suited for the job because he didn’t panic once while I was driving.  In contrast to my mom who panicked all the time when she rode with me while I had my learner’s permit.   I give her a lot of credit though, because I panicked so much with my kids that my husband had to teach them to drive. 

My initial driving practice began in my mom’s car, which was a Ford LTD and as big as my living room.  Thinking back, no wonder my mom panicked all the time; a 16 year-old novice driver maneuvering a land yacht through narrow town streets!  I never hit anything, but I often wonder from her perspective how close I came.  She never yelled, she would just grab the door handle and gasp.  I was oblivious to any danger.

One particular lesson I remember from my driving instructor was that pulling up to a T–intersection is an understood stop, even without a sign.  I learned the lesson, but I also taught the instructor something.  He would teach this lesson on a side street that ended in a T at the road that went into the cemetery.  There was no stop sign, probably because there was no traffic on that street unless there was a funeral.  He had instructed me to drive down the street and turn at the T.  However, he didn’t mention right or left.  So when I reached the T, I stopped awaiting further instructions.  He marveled that I knew to stop and asked me how I knew to do that.  I had to confess that I only stopped because I didn’t know which way he wanted me to turn.  I had foiled his plan.  I bet every kid after me was told what direction to turn at that T so he could show them how they made a mistake by not stopping!

Then came THE day – the day of going to the State Highway Patrol Station to take the driving test and actually get my license!  I wasn’t terribly nervous because I still had that 16 year-old ‘confidence’ that I could do anything.  Well, long story short, I failed the first test.  I got a perfect score on parallel parking, but I failed the driving because I started to pull out onto the highway in front of an oncoming car.  I was able stop in time, there was no accident, but the officer said very kindly, “you know I have to fail you, right?”  Yeah, I knew.  It was a devasting blow.  But two weeks later, I passed with flying colors.  Those two weeks of agony and feeling sorry for myself, had finally ended.  I got my license, and my life was back on track.

The next step in my driving career was learning to drive a standard shift because my dad was going to give me his old Volkswagen Beetle.  One Saturday, he took me up a big hill and let me drive down to learn to use the gears to help me slow down.  Then he let me drive up a big hill to learn to use the gears to give me more power.  Needless to say, coming down the hill wasn’t too bad, driving up the hill was a disaster!  But we eventually made it home and he told me that I could take the car to go into town to see my best friend.  Sixteen long years I had waited for that moment!  Total freedom at last!  I drove to my friend’s house smiling from ear to ear, envisioning all the places that we would go.  We could go anywhere we wanted without having to beg for a ride!  Life was definitely good!  Until… the unthinkable happened.

My best friend and I were cruising around town through the neighborhoods, and we came upon a house where several Junior class boys were hanging out.  It was on a corner of two streets, and the one we were on had the stop sign, and an ever-so-slight hill.  After making sure that all the boys noticed us, I shifted into gear and hit the gas to proceed, only to stall the car.  I heard some snickering.  Ok, it happens – try again.  Stalled again. More snickering and a little laughter.  SIX times I tried amid all the laughter and jeering before I was able to drive away.  I was sure at that moment; my life was over.  I didn’t want to go back to school on Monday.  I figured the incident would make headlines in the school newspaper.  I thought that news of my embarrassing failure would on the lips of every upperclassman.  Probably even the underclassmen would know about it by Monday.  How could I ever show my face at school again?  My life was over.

Much to my surprise on Monday, no one at school seemed to have heard anything about the incident.  NO ONE, even the boys that were there, mentioned one word about it.  Although I was stunned, I was grateful.  I concluded that the boys felt sorry for me and were being kind.  Actually, it was probably more true that they didn’t really care about it one way or the other.  The great car-stalling episode did not end up in the annals of high school history as my 16 year-old mind assumed it would. 

Eventually my little VW Bug, whose name was Bud, gained fame around school because, after I learned the art of shifting on hills, I was unstoppable on my journeys.  That poor little car was ridden to the point of exhaustion!  I would give anyone a ride who needed it and go anywhere that all the kids were going.  My little Bug did leave his mark on high school memories; not for stalling but for being everyone’s friend. 

I hope my reminiscing has given you a chuckle or two.  But I share it especially for parents of teenagers.  It’s important to remember that life as a teenager can be hard.  The transition from childhood to adulthood can be a rough road. 

So much about living life is perspective.  We know as adults, that most of the situations teenagers face are not the ‘end of the world’.  But we should remember that to them they are, and we should be there for comfort and help when needed – while not getting upset if we’re ignored.  Of course we must reel them back in if they are out of control and be firm on the rules.  But for the most part, parents of teenagers just need to be patient and thick-skinned.  I can’t even count the number of times that I told my mom she just didn’t understand.  And I remember at that time, I truly didn’t think she did.  Afterall, things were very different for her when she was a teenager.  How could she possibly understand my life??  But as it turns out, it wasn’t different at all.  Nor was my life different than my children’s.  It was the same teenage stuff, different day.

We Christian parents have a huge advantage because we can gain wisdom, understanding and guidance from God’s Word.  God’s advice is always the best advice!  Also, we can imitate God and deal with our children, even teenagers, the way that God deals with us.   God treats us with kindness and patience, but, when necessary, He does put His foot down – which is always done out of love.  We must do our best to love our teenagers like God loves us.  And then maybe one day, when they’re grown, we can laugh about how many times the world did NOT end when we were teenagers. 

Note to my readers:  A famous comedian once said, “Grandchildren are the reward for allowing your children to live.”  So if your teenager is making you crazy, just remind yourself, ‘someday – grandchildren’.  Thanks for reading!

Please note that I will be on vacation next week, so there will be no new post next Friday. Love to all of you!

Think about all the life that surrounds us.  Plants have life.  Insects have life.  Animals have life. Even microbes have life.  But I’d like to talk about the life we have as humans. 

Our lives have three parts.  Obviously, there is the physical part.  This is the part that we (and everyone else) can see.  Our physical bodies come in all shapes, sizes, and colors.  We have different kinds of hair, different eyes, different smiles, different ways of speaking.  Some of us are tall, some are small.  We can be slender or round.  Because it is the part we can see, we often focus on this part. 

Physical bodies can be a source of pride, like with athletes or dancers.  They take great pride in their body’s accomplishments, which they have worked hard to achieve.  Even if we are not celebrated athletes, we also can be proud of our physical bodies when we exert the effort to care for them. 

Physical bodies can also be a source of dissatisfaction.  This often comes from comparing our physical appearance to someone else’s, or by listening to someone else’s unfavorable opinion of our appearance. We see this frequently in young women, but it certainly is not limited to that segment of the population.  Many people are dissatisfied with at least one of their physical attributes. 

However, our physical bodies are only one part of who we are, and even though it is what we see, it really isn’t where our focus should remain.  The second part of us is our soul, which comes from the breath of life that God breathed into man at the beginning, (Genesis 2:7).  A person’s soul is the part that makes them – them.  Our soul is designed to govern our body.  Our souls are even more distinctive than our bodies because they are not limited by physical constraints.  They include our minds and our hearts.  Emotions emanate from our minds.  (Advertisers know this and capitalize on it.)  The discipline to control our bodies comes from the convictions we have in our hearts and the decisions we make in our minds.  Our outlook on life comes from the beliefs that we hold deep in our hearts, where our innermost thoughts and feelings reside. 

The most wonderful thing about our souls is their uniqueness.  And the most fascinating thing about our souls is that they can change.  We readily accept that changes take place between childhood and adulthood in both body and soul.  Neither our bodies nor our souls are the same as they were when we were children.  But sometimes when people reach adulthood physically, they think their soul has reached its final growing state as well.  Fortunately, that is not true.  Our souls can be always growing and changing until we take our last breath.  When we learn something new, we adjust our thinking.  When we experience elation or heart-breaking situations, our souls adapt.  I will qualify this by saying that our very deepest convictions may not change unless something greater than us comes along, which brings me to the third part of our lives…

When we got born again, we gained a third element of life, which is holy spirit.  It is the gift that God gave us at that wonderful moment.  It’s now part of who we are and should be our number 1 focus.  It is an open line of communication with God, and it is a source of power in our lives.  When our lives are working the way God designed, our spirits govern our souls, and our souls govern our bodies.  Our innermost thoughts and feelings will be based on God’s truth.  Our outlook on life will be determined by the guidance we receive from God’s words.  And those God-based convictions will permeate our souls and further affect our physical bodies.

Think of how great life can be when we have all three parts working together in proper alignment.  The spirit guiding our steps, our souls following with conviction and our bodies under control.  This arrangement allows for the most freedom and greatest success.  Because this lifestyle is one of Godly design, we have His assurance of support and guidance.  We can tap into His resources and operate the power that holy spirit provides us.  We can live a life that is more than abundant.  We can have joy and peace that is not dependent on our surroundings.  We can have the wisdom and understanding that God’s Word provides.  We can shine as lights in this crooked and perverse nation, (Philippians 2:15).  We can have a truly wonderful life!

There is so much more to life than what we see with our eyes.  We cannot see the life that makes plants grow, but just about everyone appreciates the beauty of a flower.  We can’t see an animal’s breath-life, but we like having pets and watching wildlife.  We cannot see each other’s souls, but we fall in love when our souls connect.  The greatest things in life are not seen, and what we do see wouldn’t exist without them.

When we recognize these invisible things in life, we must not forget about our gift of holy spirit.  That gift is just as real as our breath, and just as vital.  Oh, a person can live a long and healthy life without holy spirit, but his life on this earth is all that he’ll have.  It is only with that spiritual connection to God that our victory is guaranteed.  We have an abundant life now and eternal life to look forward to. 

So, delight in the life you can’t see, and be thankful.  Focus on the invisible parts of life and don’t allow all that your eyes see to distract you from what is really important.  Let God’s Word direct your steps, live according to God’s design, and reap all the benefits that life has to offer. 

Note to my readers:  When you are beautiful on the inside, you will be beautiful on the outside too.  Thanks for reading! 

I have been thinking about the term “status quo”.  I use the term regularly.  The dictionary defines status quo as “the existing state of affairs”.  It further calls it “normalcy”.  I began to wonder, what does that really mean?  Afterall, normalcy for me is likely quite different than normalcy for you.  And doesn’t “the existing state of affairs” always fluctuate in our lives?  So, status quo must be subjective.   It is.  It’s not the same for everyone.  The condition of status quo varies from person to person; however its connotation indicates that something is commonplace in one’s life.

Overall to me, status quo conveys even keel, or routine.  But what if my status quo was based on something else?   What if status quo for me was deliriously happy?  Why couldn’t that be normalcy for my life?  Or maybe the times when peace floods my soul should be my status quo?  Whatever we call status quo in our lives is our most common condition.  So let’s make that common condition something we really want to have. 

Let’s think through this…  Okay, we’ll use happy for our example.  (we’ll save deliriously happy for special occasions.)  If we decide that we want happy to be the status quo in our lives, we are saying that we want happy to be our most common condition.  In order to accomplish this, we must first define happy for ourselves.  Maybe it’s being able to smile and laugh, or maybe it’s feeling lighthearted and not feeling worried.  It would be different for everyone.  Then we have to determine what makes us happy.  Maybe it’s being with family or friends.  Maybe it’s reading our Bible.  Maybe it’s walking in nature.  Maybe it’s helping people.  There could be a million things that make us happy.  (I will interject here that the greatest source of happiness that I know is God’s Word.)  (Just sayin’)

So, once we’ve defined happy and determined what makes us happy, we can begin to pursue it.  For example, being with my family makes me happy, but they live far away.  So I could be unhappy because I can’t see them, or I could call them, which would make me happy.  Maybe they’re too busy to talk for a long time, I could feel bad about the brevity of the call, or I could be happy just hearing their voice.  Maybe I could take a moment and pray for them and that would make me feel close to them – and happy! 

You see, we can’t always control circumstances, but we can decide how we’ll respond to them.  So if we are determined to be happy, we may need to change the way we look at some things and how we react.  Like, I see people who seem to have the attitude, “that the grass is always greener on the other side”.  They are usually unhappy.  But if they could learn to see that their grass is the greenest, then they would be much happier.  We must direct our thinking toward our goals, and not allow worldly conditions to discourage us from reaching them. 

Of course we won’t ALWAYS be happy.  We could encounter situations that make us very unhappy.  It is rather unavoidable because we are in this world.  But that should be the exception – not our status quo.   

I guess what I’m trying to say here, is that we have the ability, the right, and the freedom of directing our own lives.  We determine what goes in and stays in our own minds.  So, if we want our status quo to be happy, we can achieve that by the way we think.  Is the glass half empty or half full?  Can a silver lining be found?  Can lemonade be made from the lemons?  The answer is  — with God, nothing shall be impossible.  Our status quo of being happy is available because of God’s ability to provide for us.  We can stake our lives on His promises.  We can make our ways His ways and make our thoughts, the thoughts of His Word.  When we do those things, our “existing state of affairs” will be based on God’s standard.  And the most remarkable thing about that is –  although God’s standard is an unchangeable truth, its application is totally individualized for each one of us.  God is a very personal God.  Because of the limitlessness of His love, God is able to treat each one of us like we are His only kid – (and He can even do that for all of us at the same time!)  It’s way bigger than our minds can comprehend, but it’s true.  We can live our lives with whatever we want our status quo to be by trusting God and allowing Him to work in our lives.  You want happy to be commonplace?  God can handle that.  You want peace?  God can supply that. 

So, after working this all the way through, I think that I would like to make thankfulness my status quo.  Being thankful opens the doors for both happiness and peace in our lives – and much, much more!  If we are thankful, we will recognize the things that are all around us to bless us.  We won’t miss the important things that go unnoticed by a thankless society.  We will see the beauty that is available because of God’s handiwork.  And we will appreciate the little things.  What a worthy endeavor it would be to make the status quo, the most common condition of our lives, one of continual thankfulness to God! 

Let’s try it and see what happens. 

Note to my readers:  I pray that the existing state of affairs in your life is one that blesses you and enables you to live abundantly.  Thanks for reading! 

I thought it might be time for another poem.  This one is a lighthearted look at how our minds work sometimes.  I hope you enjoy it. 

  I’ve lived with someone since who knows when
 We get along, but every now and then…
 She* makes me crazy by the way she thinks
 She’s fearful, selfish and her attitude stinks
 Her negativity brings me down
 Her criticism makes me frown
 Her fear impedes my day’s success
 I’m burdened by her laziness 
 I try to help her change her mind
 I speak God’s Word, but she declines
 My frustration, I cannot hide
 Why is she never on my side? 
 But then to her, a light breaks through 
 And she accepts God’s Word as true 
 The negative thoughts, she does replace
 With God’s words of love and grace
 When this happens, I do delight
 For it means that we no longer fight
 And the battle in my mind is won
 For my old self is overcome 
  
 *Pronouns may be changed as needed… 

Once we are born again we have the opportunity to think in a whole new way.  A way that supersedes the worldly negatives that try to defeat us.  A way that transforms our mind into a new creation.  The Bible calls it renewing our minds.  It’s a process of kicking out the old worldly thoughts and replacing them with new thoughts from God’s Word. 

Even though we are born again, we still live in this world, so there is an ongoing battle in our minds.  The Bible describes our minds in the terms; “old man” (our old worldly thoughts and actions) and “new man” (our new Godly thoughts and actions).  These two thought patterns are polar opposites and at war with each other in our minds.  It takes our deliberate decision to choose which pattern we are going to follow. 

This is a lifelong process.  It doesn’t have to be difficult, but it does take consistent awareness on our part. The world demands our attention and floods our senses with information daily.  Therefore, worldly thoughts can creep into our minds despite our best efforts.  But if we remain vigilant to first recognize wrong thoughts, then to refute and replace them; we will have victory in our minds.  The benefit of not permitting negative thoughts to dwell in our minds is fairly obvious.  Negative thoughts like fear are completely debilitating.   And thoughts like having a poor self-image tear us down.  Those kinds of thoughts stop us from being the people we really want to be.   

Psychologists know that correcting bad behavior requires replacing it with good behavior.  As parents, we have witnessed this many times.  Telling a child to stop doing something without offering a corrective action, doesn’t always deter them.   The same is true for our minds.  We must purposefully direct our thoughts toward the positives of God’s Word in order to oust the negatives.  But our minds, just like an unruly child, might try to defy us.  These are the times we must ‘extra-actively’ pursue the true words of God.  And we must steadfastly hold on to those words in our thoughts and allow their light to dispel the darkness. 

The world is full of self-help books designed to aid people in ridding themselves of detrimental thinking.  These books utilize some of the principles of renewing the mind, so they can have a modicum of success.  But they lack the real strength of God’s words to keep the negatives at bay.  The Bible is the only sure-fire way to overcome the negatives of the world. 

All the positives of God’s Word have been freely given to us to enjoy.  All God’s promises are true and certain.  God loves us completely and eternally.  We are His children.  Why not think those kinds of thoughts instead of the bitter and unsettling ones that the world throws at us?  Why not see yourself as someone that God truly loves instead of the degrading picture that the world paints?  Knowing God’s Word arms us with so much more than merely “the power of positive thinking”.  God’s Word gives us the ability to discern truth from error and gives us the stamina to persist and win the battle in our minds. 

I heard liberty defined once as, “one’s right to choose for himself”.   We have the liberty to think what we want to think.  Why not think God’s Word? 

Note to my readers:  Remember – no matter what negative thoughts come your way, the light of God’s Word dispels any (and all) darkness!  Thanks for reading!

Recently, the soap dispenser that matches the faucet at our kitchen sink broke.  A replacement was easily found, but the installation of it was quite another story.  The difficulty arose from my trying to maneuver myself around the center post of the cabinet doors under the sink.  After uncomfortable contortions and much frustration, we did complete the task, but it took a team effort by my husband and me.

Sometimes, what we think is going to be a simple task, might not be so easy at all.  And it might require teamwork to accomplish.  In this particular situation, a nut had to be secured from underneath the sink around the pipe that holds the dispenser in place.  Simple?  Sure.  Easy?  No, not really, because of the center-post obstacle.  So it is with situations in life from time to time.  Unexpected obstacles may hinder our accomplishments. 

We may encounter situations in life that are downright hard or ones that should be simple but are not.  How do we handle those situations?  The best way is by teamwork! 

You may be thinking, ‘I don’t need a team for everything I do’.  Well, I guess that depends on who is on your team.  First and foremost you should have God on your team.  Think about it, if you owned a Major League Baseball team, wouldn’t you choose the strongest, smartest, most capable players to be on your team?  Who is stronger, smarter or more capable than God?  (NO ONE!)  So why not recruit Him for your team?  Wouldn’t God’s love and support make any task you do more palatable and successful?

God declares repeatedly in the Bible that He cares for us.  His care is as infinite as His love – they go hand in hand.  If God loves so much that He gave His only begotten son for us, and His love is demonstrated by His care, how great is that care??  Immeasurable!  All of this is to say that God cares as much about the little things in our lives as He does about the big things. 

Sometimes, we might feel like we shouldn’t bother God with our small inconveniences.  Not so.  God is our Father, and He cares about everything in our lives.  I often compare our relationship with God to a parent and a newborn infant.  A newborn is helpless and vulnerable, which stirs the most tender compassions in us.  In addition, we recognize how limited a newborn’s abilities are compared to our own, so it’s easy to see that we are needed. 

Like the great old hymn says, “Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not”, God is full of compassion, kindness and mercy.  And I’m pretty sure that God recognizes the disparity between our abilities and His!  He knows that we need Him.  And He wants to take care of us.  Our day by day lives are greatly enriched by including God on our team.  No matter how grave or how insignificant our challenges might be, God is ready, willing and able to assist us in all of them. 

Now, let’s consider another aspect of teamwork – being a teammate.  Chances are that we have more than just God on our team.  Our family, friends and fellow Christians are almost always on our team and willing to help and support us.  But that also means that we should be on their teams.  We cannot expect people to help and support us all the time and give nothing back.  Our lives cannot be all taking and no giving.  That is self-defeating.  We should keep our eyes open for opportunities to be good teammates and lend a helping hand whenever possible.  And when we do that, a wonderful thing happens – we receive back.  This principle applies to more than just tithing.  It works for all giving.  Giving of ourselves, giving our energy, giving our time, our efforts, our support, our care and our love.  We are never poorer for giving these things away, we are always richer because this is a Godly principle.  Now don’t get me wrong, we do not give in order to receive, that would be selfish.  We give freely from our hearts without requiring anything in return (no strings attached). That is true giving.  And that opens the door for this principle to flourish in our lives.   

Think about how you would want that baseball team of yours to perform.  First, no egos getting in the way.  Then the team should work together for its success.  The team should follow the coach’s instructions. They all should participate using their best efforts.  They should acknowledge each other’s strengths.  And they should pay attention to each other so that they can be at the right place at the right time.  That is the most advantageous way for teammates to act and that’s what we would want for our team, right?  But stop and think… Is that the way we, ourselves act as teammates?  If not, we may be missing out on opportunities to bless and be blessed. 

So, teamwork in life basically boils down to relying on God, listening to His instructions, and loving one another.  Let’s seek possibilities to be the bless-er instead of focusing on ourselves.  There is no doubt that times occur when we need to be the bless-ee, but in between those times, why not look for every chance you can to be a stellar teammate?  Trust God to take care of you, and as freely as He gives to you, give freely to others.  I bet you’ll find that being the bless-er is even more fun than being the bless-ee!  And we must never forget; “you and God make a majority”.   So, even if He is the only one on your team, you still have a winning combination!  It just takes teamwork! 

Note to my readers:  I’m so glad to have you on my team!  Thanks for reading.

As promised, I am recognizing fathers in this week’s blog.  Fathers are an important part of the family.  They are the underlying strength of the family unit.  Mothers are strong and capable, but even the strongest mom relies on the strength of her husband in certain situations. 

A dad’s job can be tough.  He must be brave in every situation (especially ones involving spiders or snakes).  He must be strict without being unjust.  He must firm without being harsh.  He must be kind without being a push-over.  He needs to be the shoulder for everyone to cry on even if he feels like crying himself. 

I lost my dad last year.  He was 95.  He was the smartest guy I knew.  One time my son had an intricate math problem that involved adding numbers and reciprocals to get a palindrome.  After working extensively on the problem, we asked my dad for help.  So he wrote a computer formula to solve the equation.  And that was long before Excel!  He taught himself the play the organ by utilizing the mathematics of music.  And he was a pool-shark by using geometry. 

My dad was old school.  I grew up in an era when ‘children should be seen and not heard’.  There was one television, and when dad was home, we always watched what he wanted.  (I grew up watching a lot of westerns!)  He didn’t read me bedtime stories or hold my hand when I was sick (that was my mother’s job).  But he did fly from New York to Pittsburgh with a big lime-green stuffed elephant on his lap because I was in the hospital.  Both Dad and “Jumbo” were waiting for me when I woke up after surgery. 

If you read my “Mothers” blog, you may remember that I said we visited both sets of grandparents each summer.  Two of my favorite memories of my dad took place while visiting his parents in New Hampshire.  My grandfather had a two-room fishing cabin on his tree farm back in the woods next to the creek.  I thought it was such a special place.  There was no electricity, and the only water came from a hand-pump at the kitchen sink.  There were two twin beds, two living room chairs, an eating table, and all the necessary kitchen provisions.  Oil lamps offered the only light, and the woods supplied the other necessary facilities.  I used to pretend it was my house and I would play there often.  I wanted to spend the night there too, but I was afraid to do it by myself.  So one night, my dad stayed overnight with me.  It probably wasn’t the most comfortable night’s sleep for him, but he did it for me anyway.  I was elated! 

A few years later brought the advent of color TV, and my grandparents had one!  That year I anxiously awaited our visit so I could watch the “Monkees” in living color.  Fortunately for me, our visit was earlier than usual that summer.  I was so excited when I saw the show in color, that my grandpa offered me deal. He said if I could get my dad to go with me in the ocean, in June, in NH, over our heads, that he would give us the TV.  Now if you know anything about the ocean in New England in June, you know that the water is FREEZING cold at the time of year.  But my poor dad helped me seal the deal and we got our first color TV!  I actually had to ride all the way home (about 16 hours) in the back seat of a Volkswagen Beetle with that TV, (and they were big in those days), but I never complained! 

I will always remember how handsome my dad looked in his tuxedo when my husband and I got married.  I remember the times that I made him laugh.  And I remember the times that he would look over the top of his glasses at me – that’s when he really meant business – and sometimes meant that I was in trouble!  As I write, more memories flow through my mind and warm my heart.  My dad was a good man.

I can’t talk about fathers, without talking about grandfathers as well.  I had wonderful grandfathers.  They were quite different, but each had their own special qualities. 

My dad’s dad was the quintessential grandpa.  He looked like Santa minus the beard.  And he treated me like a princess.  He did puzzles with me, played games, and he taught me things like using a drill press and driving a car, both when I was around 10 years old.  My favorite game was King Kong and Fay Wray.  In this game he would be King Kong and carry me (Fay Wray) around the house with all the sound effects.  Then he would drop me on the couch and the airplanes would shoot him dead and he’d fall into a chair.  We played this game many times until I got too big for him to carry around.  I loved it!   He kept a jar full of silver coins in a little closet by the fireplace.  Whenever I did a good deed, he’d tell me I could go get a quarter or silver dollar out of the jar. You can be sure that I sought every opportunity to do good deeds!  (Too bad I didn’t hold on to those silver coins!)

Both my grandpas were a little ornery.  I say that because both grandmothers would roll their eyes at their antics.  My dad’s dad used to take his dentures out after dinner and have marshmallows for dessert.  He liked to chase them around in his mouth.  My grandmother would just shake her head and roll her eyes.  I would laugh and encourage him. 

And that brings me to my mom’s dad.  I called this grandpa, just “Pa”.

Pa was ornery in a different way.  He loved cars.  In particular, I remember his 1959 white Chevy Impala convertible with red interior.  I thought that was the coolest car that I’d ever seen, and I loved riding around with the top down!  Pa did the driving most of the time when we visited.  But Pa had a bad habit.  He would decide that it was his turn to go despite traffic indications.  Fortunately, we never got into an accident, but it was pretty close sometimes.  As a kid, I never recognized it.  But as I got older – it was a little scary! 

Pa had sayings. They were both silly and funny.  He would ask me where my slippers were every time that I was barefoot; and he’d ask what Tonto said.  Thinking back, in my early teens, I was less than kind responding to his questions, which I regret.  But as I got older, I appreciated his quirkiness.  He always called my grandmother, “my bride” and was totally devoted to her.  I can still hear her saying his name like he was a naughty child when he would say silly things.  It was part of their relationship that made them fun to be around.  Pa had great stories of the ‘old days’.  And he always gave bubble gum to servers as part of their tips.  He was a very likable guy.  I am proud to have his WWI Purple Heart Medal on display in my living room. 

All in all, I am very thankful for these men and the role they played in my life.  They influenced me in different ways and taught me many things.  I often wish that I could have talked with my grandfathers as an adult so that I could really appreciate and understand their experiences, wisdom, and advice from more than a kid’s perspective.  I would have loved to have written their life’s stories! 

And I am blessed to have had my dad in my life as long as I did.  Distance kept us apart physically, but he was always in my heart.  I have the utmost respect for the man he was. 

So this Father’s Day, think about what your dad or grandpas have done for you, and let them know (if you can) that you appreciate it.  Although dads may not show it like moms do, they too need to hear that you love them.

Note to my readers:  It has been fun taking this trip down memory lane.  I hope you enjoyed it.  Thanks for reading!