Month: May 2021

“Right” is a prominent word in our vocabulary.  It has multiple connotations.  We use it in a myriad of ways.  Think about it…  “The socks need to be turned right side out”; “I have a right to be here.”  “That is the right answer.”  “Turn right at the next stop sign.”  “I’ll be right home.”  “You are right at the top of my list.”  Those are just a few examples.  We use the word regularly in lots of contexts.  Generally though, we think of right in three basic categories:  Right and left, right and wrong, and rights and privileges.  

Right and left basically denote bearing in relation to the right or left side of your body.  It can mean location or direction.  But all in all, I think right and left are pretty self-explanatory, so I won’t elaborate on that category. 

Rights and privileges are a hot topic in the world today.  There are moral rights, legal rights, inalienable rights, God-given rights, etc.  And it seems like everyone is arguing about the validity of all of them.  Since this is a political squabble, I’m not going to talk about that category either. 

BUT…

I do want to talk about right and wrong.  Right and wrong convey several different things to our minds. In school, the answers on the test were either right or wrong – correct or incorrect.  In conversation we might say either the right thing or the wrong thing – proper or improper.  In life we can make the right choices or the wrong ones – good or bad.    

For the most part, people want to do the right thing.  And they want to be right in the way they think.  It’s an innate heart’s desire.  However, all of us make mistakes, we get duped, or just show a lack of judgement.  But usually, we hate the times when we stray from right and endeavor to get back on the “right track” as quickly as we can.    

This brings up an important point – how do we know what is right or wrong?  There is only ONE sure standard that we can use to answer that question, and that is God’s Word.  God set up the only absolutely right way of thinking and acting.  So our thoughts and actions must be measured against that standard.  That is not to say that we have to recite Bible verses all day long.  It would be pretty hard to function in our daily lives if every word or thought had to be a scripture.  How would we do our jobs or even cook dinner?  But when we make the Bible our only rule of faith and practice, our conscience is guided by Its truth and that truth becomes our habit pattern of thought. 

I think of it like this:  Picture a compass…  North, East, South, and West, and all the degrees between.  Our moral compasses have corresponding settings:  “Right” being north, and “Wrong” being south, and all the degrees in between.  We try to keep our lives focused on Right, (north) and avoid Wrong (south).  But mostly we live our lives somewhere in the degrees between – hopefully close to north!  When we set true north on our moral compass to God’s Word, that becomes our guiding light.  And we can utilize that compass point to keep us on the “right road”. 

So, we all probably agree that we do want to do the right thing.  Our hearts generally lean toward helping one another, being of service, and giving to those in need.  We like feeling that what we are doing is helping people and making them happy.  It is rewarding to aid someone in a tough time and see them get through it.  It is very satisfying to be able to be strong for someone when they’re down.  But sometimes we get hurt.  Maybe our efforts to help are not appreciated or wanted.  Maybe we are ignored or pushed away.  Maybe we fail.  Maybe people take advantage of our generosity.  Many things can discourage us from doing what is right.  Hence, we end up in the degrees.  We may even determine that we are not going to help anyone ever again.  But then we see on our compass that we’re headed off course, and we can correct our thinking. 

It stands to reason that the further away from right we get, the closer we get to wrong.  (makes sense, right?)  But it doesn’t matter if we are as wrong as wrong can be, God always provides a way back to right, if we want it.  Again, let’s think of our compass directions.  If we are at the north pole (right as rain) and we start heading south, we will eventually get to the south pole (simply wrong).  But whatever direction we head from the south pole goes north.  And eventually, if we keep moving, we’ll reach the north pole again.  Isn’t God wonderful! 

As I stated before, the only sure measure of right or wrong is God’s Word.  Allow that Word to be your North Star.  You can always navigate by that star even in the darkest night.  Continue your quest to do the right thing regardless of any ingratitude.  And keep your thoughts on true north on your compass. 

You have the right to be right, right now, right where you are! 

Note to my readers:  You are right at the top of my list!  (I meant that!)  I will not be posting next Friday. However, I will post on the Friday following.  Have a wonderful two weeks!! 

I have been thinking about aging – getting older.  Getting older is not the same as getting old.  Everyone, even an infant, is getting older day by day.  It’s a natural growth process.  It’s the way of life on this earth.  And we accept that.  We even embrace it until we reach a certain age, then we tend to protest against it. 

Regardless of what age we are, so much about getting older is perspective and attitude. I would say it is totally about that, but I have a mirror.  There is no denying that I don’t look the same as I did when I was a kid or even as a young adult, so I know that there is definitely a physical side to aging.  Our physical bodies do show signs of age and they do wear out in time.  Things wrinkle, things sag, things no longer work the way they used to.  That is the physical side of getting older.  But getting old is definitely an attitude.

We cannot change the aging process.  But we can monitor our attitude.  People can be old at 40 if they think they’re old.  And people can be young at 80 because of their attitude.  Of course, we can help our attitude by taking care of our physical bodies, but even someone who is in good physical shape can sabotage themselves by negative thoughts.  And someone who isn’t so physically fit can be full of vim and vigor because of their positive thoughts.  

And perspective?  That’s readily identifiable.  I look at my granddaughter who is about to turn 21.  She is so incredibly young and innocent.  But when I was 21, I was very mature and wise (at least that is what I thought at the time!)  Perspective!  Neither observation is completely accurate, but we form these opinions based on our perspective.  To a younger person, someone ten years older than they are, is ancient.  To an older person, someone 10 years older is a peer. 

Think about childhood.  Young children are blissfully ignorant of the aging process.  They are never worried about the future.  Each day to them is an exciting adventure.  Their responsibilities are few.  Their enjoyment level is high.  Their anticipation of the future is bright – so much so, that often they don’t want to sleep because they’re afraid they’ll miss something.

Then children get a little older and they’re ready for school.  This may begin their awareness of the aging process.  They go to kindergarten, and they’re told that next year they will go to first grade, then to second grade and so on.  They start to grasp the idea that they must have another birthday before they can get to the next grade.   So they are filled with anticipation for their birthdays (and birthday parties).  This leads to children wanting to be older.  Ask a 9 year old his age, and if his birthday was longer ago than yesterday, he will probably say, “I’m 9 ½“.  Being older is a badge to be proudly worn. 

It seems once children reach a double-digit age, the quest to be 13 begins.  This age represents a rite of passage into becoming a grown up.  Being 13 means that they are a teenager, which is not only a source of pride, but also the onset of obtaining independence which unfortunately is also the onset of a lot of struggles for the parents.  Following shortly after 13, is the almost consuming desire to be 16.  Driving is the pinnacle achievement for a teenager’s freedom.  However, this is followed quickly by wishing for the magic age of 18.  Eighteen is marked by well-deserved accolades for accomplishments like graduating from high school, going to college, or preparing for a career.  It is also the age of reveling in independence, feeling invincible and being sure that all knowledge and wisdom has now been attained. 

A few years later, another milestone is achieved, which is 21.  Children are now adults.  They have finally arrived.  The world is their oyster.  They are no longer subject to the confines of parental rule.  They call their own shots now.  They will show everyone how life is really supposed to be lived.  Thus, childhood ends.

After reaching 21, however,  something changes.  There are no more age-milestones that need to be achieved.  Adulthood has arrived.  And now the aging process starts to be reckoned by decades.  You are now in your 20’s, and you’ll soon be in your 30’s and so forth.  And as you get older, you recall your life the same terms.  “I remember when I was in my 30’s…”  Another result of this 10-year age reckoning is that you sometimes stress about that birthday that ushers in a new decade.  Forty seems so much older than 39, while 41 isn’t much older than 40 at all.  Attitude and perspective! 

Something else remarkable happens during this time – the decades begin to fly past in a blink of an eye.  Just yesterday, you were in your 20’s and now you’re in your 50’s.  How did that happen?  How did all those years pass so quickly?  Where did they go?  Just a few years ago when you were 17, the year it took to become 18 was an eternity.  And each school-year that you lived seemed to drag on forever.  But nowadays, it’s January, then it’s Christmas and then it’s January again before you know it. 

Getting older is going to happen.  It’s the way of life.  But it’s what we do in our minds that makes all the difference.  Being a Christian is the greatest aid we have for positive thinking.  Knowing that we’re saved and going to heaven takes the edge off getting older because it eliminates the fear of dying.  We also know that God is able to provide for us and heal us no matter how old we are.  So, what’s a few more decades?  Being born again fills us with life-giving spirit that can energize our bodies regardless of our age.

I think of it like this…  Age is merely a number.  I am the age that I am.  I can’t change that.  God made the law of time.  What I can change, however, is my attitude.  Even if my body feels older than dirt, I can still feel young at heart.  I can still believe that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  I can determine to hold on to those thoughts rather than listen to my body’s constant complaining.  I’m not careless to think that I haven’t aged.  I recognize my physical limitations.  (I can’t do back bends and splits like I used to; and I’m not shocked when I look in the mirror – most of the time.)  But I don’t have to let those limitations drag me down.  I can be vibrant and blessed if I choose to be so.

 Kids are always yearning for time to pass, while adults are often yearning for time to slow down.  Kids wish to be older.  Adults wish to be younger.  It’s a fairly universal condition.  However, no amount of yearning or wishing changes time’s progression.  The best thing we can do for ourselves is enjoy right where we are, today. 

Right now, exactly where I am, is where all those decades have transported me.  All the good years and all the bad years have culminated in today.  I can’t change the past and I don’t know what the future holds.  So, I might as well learn to live life to the fullest today.  Because, before I know it, today will be yesterday and I won’t be able to change it.  With God’s help, we all can grow older grace-fully.  (think about it)

I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.   Psalm 37:25

Note to my readers:  The best part about getting older is all the friends that the years have provided.  Thanks for reading!

Having just celebrated Mother’s Day, I spent some time remembering my mom.  She was a good mom, kindhearted and understanding.  She was unbiased and non-judgmental.  I was raised to never judge a book by its cover; and taught that there are always two sides to every story.

My mom was quirky, which I never really appreciated until I was grown.  And she was opinionated, which trait I inherited – come to think of it, I inherited both of those traits (just ask my husband!).  She was Christian but didn’t often go to church.  However, she did her best to be a good person and encouraged me to be the same.

I remember one particular Mother’s Day when I was around 12 years old.  I had saved my money and purchased a teapot for my mom’s special day.  Now, mind you, this was in the 60’s – the teapot was dark olive green with an apple on the lid for a handle, and an apple motif on the front of the pot.  I thought it was the most beautiful teapot in the world and I was excited to give it to her.  I remember this gift so vividly because, on that Mother’s Day, I woke up covered in hives from head to toe due to an allergic reaction.  My entire body was bright red.  My eyes were nearly swollen shut, my face was distorted, and my feet were so swollen, it hurt to walk.  But I hobbled down the hall to my mom’s bedroom (she was having breakfast in bed) and presented the gift to her.  She cried.  Not because of the gift, but because of me.  It hurt her heart to see me in such a state.  That demonstration of love and concern made an impression on my young mind, which I have never forgotten.  My mom had that teapot on display in her kitchen all of her days.  She passed away nearly 30 years ago, and I still miss her. 

I also had two wonderful grandmothers.  They were as different as night and day, but each was uniquely special to me.  I called them both, “Grammy”.  And they both lived in New England.  Our summer vacations were always spent visiting them, my dad’s parents first, and then my mom’s.

My dad’s mother was rather old fashioned.  She wore her hair in a bun, dressed in a style from decades before I was born, and she always wore a hat when we went out.  They lived in a big house on a tree farm.  I have fond memories of picking green beans with her in their garden – I ate as many as I put in the basket.  And I still love raw green beans!

Every year, Grammy would take my mom and me to town to go shopping.  This was always a highlight of our visit.  Each year she bought me a new dress and a new doll.  I loved these shopping trips, not just because I got presents, but because it was a lady’s day out and I was part of it.

There were always Eskimo Pies for me in their giant chest freezer in the pantry.  (The pantry was a whole room off the kitchen.  My mom’s pantry was a little closet so of course, I thought my grandmother’s pantry was extraordinary.  In addition to the treasure-chest freezer, there were shelves of food and kitchen gear, and my grandmother’s wringer washer, which she rolled out to the sink when she did laundry.  She was the only person I knew with one of those and the process of using it to wash clothes fascinated me.)  If I ate all my dinner, Grammy would tell me that I could get an Eskimo Pie, so off to the pantry I’d run!  The freezer was so big and deep that I would often have to get a stool or something to stand on to reach my treat.  But you can be assured that I found a way to get one every time.  That was probably a little test of my ingenuity, which was likely my grandfather’s idea, but I rose to the challenge.

My mom’s mother was trendier.  She wore her hair and dressed in the style of the current day.  They lived in an apartment in town.  Grammy read with me and told me stories.  I can still hear her voice.  She also listened to my music.  But I never thought she minded that because really, who didn’t love the Monkees? 

During our visits, we went out almost every day.  There were a few restaurants that were always on the agenda, an old factory that was turned into a shopping outlet, other family, and of course, the ocean!  Grammy probably needed a week to recover after our whirlwind stays! 

During our visits, my parents and grandparents often played Bridge in the evenings.  I never understood the game, but they had fun and I could watch whatever I wanted on TV (a win-win).  It was usually ladies against the men, so the competition was lively.  One night, after having been on a losing streak, my mom and grandmother wore hats to the game for good luck.  They won that night.  So the next night, my dad and grandpa came to the table wearing hats.  I actually don’t remember, but the men must have won that night, because the next night they all wore hats!  Everyone laughed a lot, including me. 

I have so many sweet memories of these 3 ladies who influenced me.  And I am thankful that they were part of my life.  From a daughter’s / granddaughter’s point of view, they were great ladies who each left something of themselves in me.  And from a mother’s / grandmother’s point of view, I aspire to do the same for my children and grandchildren.

A mother’s nature is generally nurturing, which fosters a strong connection between her and her children.  For example, little children most often want their moms when they get hurt.  Older children confide in their moms rather than their dads when they have a problem.  And grown children, after they have their own children, realize what a labor of love their moms provided. 

A mother typically is also unselfish, putting her family’s needs before her own.  She will stay up late even when she is tired to make sure that her family is well cared for.  She will give her child the last piece of cake, even though she was dreaming of having it all day.  And if money is tight, a mom will opt for that toy her child wanted rather than the bracelet she had her eye on.

A mother is many things.  But most of all, a mother is loving.  Her family is vitally important to her and her love for them is pretty much unconditional.  Oh, she can get angry and stay mad for a while, but that doesn’t change the love she has.  Even when her children are grown and live far away, she can still feel their tug on her heartstrings.   

All mothers fall short and make mistakes.  Yet our mothers still hold a special place in our hearts.  Even if your relationship with your mother is less than ideal; even if your mother doesn’t demonstrate all the qualities that you think she should, you still love her.  And whether you realize it or not, she loves you. 

We all are moving so fast these days that the niceties of life sometimes get left in the dust.  Having a day set aside to express thankfulness to our mothers is not a bad thing.  Most mothers don’t demand recognition, so it’s up to the children to slow down for a moment and say, “thank you” or “I love you”. Because even though she doesn’t demand it, a mother still needs to hear it.  If a mother never receives recognition or appreciation, her heart can grow weary; and it will eventually break.  But even a small gesture of genuine appreciation is greatly rewarding.

Being a mom, I can honestly say that an expression of appreciation doesn’t require a gift or a card or even a special day, although all those things are always welcomed.  A mother’s heart is easily melted by a kind word of gratitude.  An unsolicited phone call or even a text can make her day.  Regardless of how busy you are, take a minute to show your mom that she is loved.  And if you are blessed with having her close by, give her a hug – I guarantee you she will appreciate it.

Note to my readers:  I singled out moms for this post because of the recent holiday.  I know that dads are important too.  They’ll get their recognition in June.  God bless you. Thanks for reading,

I chose this title because years ago, I worked for a chiropractor.  And one of our favorite patients referred to us who worked in the office as, “womens”.  It has been an endearing idiom ever since. 

We ‘womens’ are sometimes our own worst enemies when it comes to our opinions of ourselves. We often think the worst of ourselves when no one else is thinking anything remotely like that.  We tend to criticize our own appearance, or performance; and even question our worth.  In our own minds, we magnify our failures; and we have a hard time forgiving ourselves.     

Have you ever had those kinds of thoughts?  Well, you are not alone!  We are all susceptible to this kind of thinking because we live in a world that promotes it.  BUT those thoughts are lies.  Worldly thoughts that tear us down are at cross-purposes with the Bible’s truth.  Therefore, they are lies.

The Bible instructs us to align our thinking with what It says.  And God says that women are precious, beautiful, industrious, trustworthy, strong, generous, kind, honorable, wise, praiseworthy, blessed, and virtuous. (Proverbs 31:10-31)   To think less of ourselves than that, is denying our rightful state that God credits us as having.

We always have two ways of thinking – our own critical negative opinions; or God’s view of who we truly can be and are.  (Pretty much polar opposites!)  And it all boils down to which way we choose to think.  We determine what thoughts we adhere to.  We can make up our minds to cling to the positives instead of hanging on to the negatives.  It’s our choice, and it takes consistent work to maintain. 

It is easy for our minds to fall into negative habit patterns because that thinking gets the world’s endorsement.  We are pummeled with information designed to bring us down so that we think we need to have whatever is being marketed to make us feel better.  For example, images of super-models can demean our opinion of our own appearance.  So we think we need all the make-up, clothes, accessories, exercise equipment, and diets that are being advertised.  And after we have purchased all of it, we might feel better for a moment – until we see the next super-model.  Then we need new and better things, which the merchants are all too happy to provide.  And the cycle repeats.  There is nothing wrong with buying any of the things listed above if you want or need them.  It is the motivation for getting them that can be problematic.  There is no question that a beautiful new dress can make you feel like a million bucks.  But what happens when you take it off?  Are you less than enthralled by what you see?  That is how the scheme works to keep you needy and willing to buy.

The truth is that the outside will never change unless the inside changes first.  I have seen absolutely beautiful women who have a poor opinion of themselves, be miserable and defeated.  And I have seen women with modest looks shine as lovely stars because they feel good about themselves.  The difference is inside, not out.

Appearance is just one example of how the worldly schemes can keep us downhearted.  Similar tactics are employed in many other categories as well.  And these tactics usually involve comparing ourselves to someone else.  Maybe we’re not as successful as our friend, or as talented, or as popular.  The worldly scheme talks us into feeling poorly about our own accomplishments instead of being happy for our friend’s success. We may find ourselves feeling jealous or resentful, which can work against our positive attitude as well. 

There are myriads of schemes that may trip us up if we don’t guard our minds.  Perhaps a callous comment, or thoughtless remark can resonate in our minds until we accept its consequences.  Harsh criticism or hurtful words can wound us to the point of doubting our own self-worth.  And painful experiences can send us into the darkened depths of our souls.

When we face any circumstances that cause us to feel badly about ourselves, we must stop, grab our minds, and remember who we truly are.  Each one of us is unique and has something unique to offer. There is not another person on earth who is exactly like you.  So if you don’t give it your best shot, there will be a gap that no one else can fill.  And we can’t give it our best shot if we’re tied up in knots feeling poorly about ourselves.

The Bible is clear about the importance of each and every one of us who believe.  The benefits of being born again and the promises in God’s Word enable us to be the absolute best we can be.  And they give us all the ammunition we need to fight against the schemes of the world that are designed to tear us down.  The virtuous woman is in the heart.  And when she lives in us, we certainly will be able to overcome the worldly negatives that do their darnedest to discourage us. And we will shine as lights in the world and in our own eyes! 

Our contributions may not change the world – but if we don’t make them, we’ll never know.

Here is a quote from my favorite Bible teacher:

“If believers ever again catch a glimpse of how dear, beautiful and important they are to the Father, it will transform their very lives.”   Dr. VP Wierwille

Note to my readers:  YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!