Holidays

Holidays are designated days for special celebration and reflection.  They provide the opportunity to recognize notable people, events, or accomplishments, which always should be considered along with the celebration.  Some holidays are more widely observed and full of traditions than others, and the December ones definitely fit that category.  For the most part, these holidays are spent with family and friends and are happy times.  However, many of us are dealing with circumstances this year that may be overshadowing our holiday festivities.  At these times, we may not feel like celebrating, but we can still reflect on the reason for the holiday.  Remembering the meaning behind the holiday can bring us peace, comfort, and joy that no worldly circumstances can take away.  And for that, we can be thankful.  In addition, memories of our past holidays can bring a smile to our face.

I have a fond place in my heart for Christmas because of our family traditions and my memories.  Although these traditions have changed through the years (of necessity, circumstances change – traditions change), I still look forward to the decorations, the gift giving, and the time with family and friends that Christmastime offers. 

One of my favorite childhood family traditions was our Christmas stockings.  Our stockings were not decorated socks hung on the mantel.  They were nylon stockings stuffed full of presents that were hung on our bedroom doorknobs while we slept on Christmas Eve.  They were filled with 15 to 20 little packages that we were allowed to unwrap and play with as soon as we woke up.  It was an exciting prelude to the day’s activities!   And thinking back, it was a rather brilliant plan that allowed my parents a little extra time to sleep on Christmas morning.

Family traditions build family ties and are sources of lovely memories.  My memories of Christmas as a child are special to me and give me great appreciation for my parents.  My memories of Christmas as a mother and grandmother are equally special.  This post would be many pages long if I tried to write about all of those.

When I became a parent, I wanted to share my family traditions with my kids and hopefully give them good memories too.  We did the stockings (although, it became gift bags because nylon stockings were hard to come by), and Christmas poppers, among other things.  And we developed our own traditions like our Christmas Eve appetizer feast and opening one present that night.  Now I get to see the traditions that my kids are building with their families.  And the best part of all – is that through the whole progression, I get more and more wonderful memories that bless my heart. 

I sincerely pray that this holiday season is a blessed time for you and your family and friends (whether together or apart).  I pray that you have heartwarming memories of your own holiday traditions and that you continue to enjoy sharing those traditions and building new ones.  I pray that taking time to remember the reason for the holiday brings you peace.  There is much to be thankful for. 

Note to my readers:  Thank you again for spending some time with me.  Much love to you and your families.

Thankful and Blessed

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about being thankful and blessed.  These two words are popularly used (often together) in polite conversation, or for wall décor or greeting cards.  However, they should have a much deeper reality in our lives than just being pleasant words.  The attitude of being thankful and the condition of being blessed are our daily bread.  They go hand in hand because when we get blessed, we are thankful; and when we are thankful, we get blessed.  It’s a wonderful cycle that helps to keep us going day after day.

Here are ten things for which I am thankful:

  1. That I woke up this morning (in other words, I’m still alive)
  2. That I am saved (with all that it entails, like going to heaven!)
  3. That I have a Bible (so I can know the truth)
  4. That I am married (my husband puts up with my shenanigans)
  5. That I have a terrific family (I don’t mean to brag, but they are outstanding!)
  6. That I have wonderful friends (they are the best!)
  7. That I live in the United States of America (a country founded on freedom)
  8. That I have food, clothing, and shelter (my needs are met)
  9. That I can pray (I don’t know what I’d do without this one)
  10. That I can love and be loved (which is the greatest of them all)

These are some of the things that I have been blessed with and am thankful for.  This of course, is not my complete list and my items may be different from yours.  But it may give you some ideas for your list if you don’t already have one. 

Every day that we wake up is an opportunity for success.  We cannot change the past and we don’t know what the future holds, so we only have today.  What if your life is a mess?  Today, that all could change.  What if you’re happy as a clam?  Today is another chance to enjoy it. 

Overall, our lives are governed by our convictions.  Determining that we will be thankful each day will open the doors for great blessings, which in turn will give us many reasons to be thankful.   And then continuing to be thankful every day will put us in the position to receive more blessings.  Isn’t that an amazing way to live? 

Our lives aren’t always happy because situations occur that take our happiness away.  But even in those difficult times, we can find something to be thankful for, even if it’s only for running water.  Holding on to our conviction to be thankful through the hard times allows us to see the light at the end of the tunnel and paves the way for us to get to it. 

Genuine thankfulness prevents a multitude of negative thoughts, like selfishness, greed, and jealousy.  And it fosters a multitude of positive thoughts, like caring, giving and selflessness.  And really, isn’t that the kind of life we want to have?  A life of being selfless rather than selfish, of being a giver rather than a taker?  I know that I strive to emulate the qualities that I admire in others – generosity is a good example.  Thankfulness is a step in the right direction toward being that person we sincerely want to be.

It’s the giving we do in life that provides us with real purpose.  Thankfulness takes the focus off ourselves so that we can focus on the truly meaningful things in life, like helping others.  My greatest joy comes from being a blessing – not just from receiving one (although I’m thankful for the ones that I receive!).  If I can touch someone’s heart, if I can help and support someone in need, I am fulfilled.  I can also rejoice in others’ good fortune whether I had anything to do with it or not because I’m thankful for their blessings and I realize that it is “not all about me”.  And you know what the most unbelievable thing is about being selfless?  That when we seek to bless others and look beyond ourselves, we get abundantly blessed, which leads to an even more thank-filled life.  It’s a fantastic win-win lifestyle! 

So, let’s maintain an attitude of gratitude, and forget not to count our blessings.  Let’s take time to appreciate what we’ve been given and look for ways to share our blessings with others. For doing these things will give us true satisfaction in our lives and help us become the people we genuinely want to be.  We have nothing to lose and everything to gain by being thankful and blessed. 

Note to my readers:   I am thankful and blessed by you.  I sincerely appreciate you giving your time to read my writings.  And as always, I hope they bless you. 

Next week’s post will be on Thursday.  Happy Holidays!

Rainy Days

In Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s poem, The Rainy Day, there is a line which says, “Into each life some rain must fall.”  This has been one of my mottos for a long time because it has rained in my life.  There have been deluges and drizzles; there have been thunderstorms and showers. 

We know that rain isn’t always bad.  Ask any farmer.  Rain is necessary for growing our food.  It is a very welcomed relief after a drought.  Did you ever play in a summer shower as a kid? Remember splashing in puddles and running through raindrops?  It was even better than the sprinkler!  We appreciate these kinds of rain; but what about the storms?

We cannot always control the weather in our lives any more than we can control the actual weather.  And just like the actual weather, storms happen, which on occasion could be quite devastating.  But as we have learned to deal with the actual weather, we can learn to deal with our personal weather as well. 

The first step in dealing with a storm is being prepared.  In actual weather, we collect the proper gear to mitigate the effects of the storm.  From umbrellas to emergency generators, we try to be prepared.  We also take precautions, like closing windows, (especially in our cars!). 

For our personal storms, the proper gear is in our minds. We must collect the thoughts necessary to effectively alleviate the impacts of a storm on our lives.  We take the precaution of having a positive thought pattern ready to use before a storm hits.  This positive pattern is developed by putting the proper constructive thoughts in our minds over and over until they become our habitual way of thinking.  It is a pattern of expecting the best instead of the worst; of having confidence instead of doubt; of trusting instead of worrying; and of clinging to faith instead of fear.  When this faith-based way of thinking is our habit, we will be prepared for any storm. 

In addition, gear must be maintained.  Periodic maintenance of the generator or replacing a tattered umbrella helps keep us ready for actual inclement weather.  Maintaining our positive thought pattern is also necessary for our personal weather.  Negative thoughts are so prevalent in the world today that if we are lax about protecting our positive attitude, negative thoughts will slip in and overshadow it.  Maintaining our positive thought pattern requires our regular attention.

In actual weather, we have learned to recognize a storm’s warning signs.  Our experience has taught us that when the sky is full of clouds and grows dark, it’s probably going to rain.  Recognizing these signs helps us determine what actions we should take.      

Our personal storms may also have warning signs.  We may have experiences or insights that help us recognize that something is wrong.  When we heed these warnings, we can build ourselves up and be guided by our positive thoughts so that we can have a good course of action. 

Think about an actual thunderstorm.  How do you deal with it?  You seek shelter, hunker down, and ride it out.  It might be a little scary and maybe you lose power or sustain some property damage.  But overall, your attitude is, “It’s a storm and it will pass.  I’ve been through this before”.

The same should be our attitude in a personal thunderstorm.  In the middle of it, we might be afraid.  But our experience tells us that it will end, and we will be okay, so we can put away that fear.  With the expectation that “this too shall pass”, we can get ourselves back on track in short order. 

What about the times when it’s overcast and drizzly for days at a time?  Those times aren’t necessarily scary or dangerous, just annoying and gloomy.  I think, though, that these drizzly times in our personal lives can be particularly bothersome.  Frustration can overwrite our positive attitude before we realize it.  These are the times when humor might be a good remedy.  It is important to be able to laugh in the face of annoyance rather than get angry; and smile at the gloom rather than get discouraged.

I was privileged to aid in the relief efforts following Hurricane Katrina.  There was widespread devastation and destruction, the likes of which I had never seen before.  However, we did not focus on the destruction, we focused on the rebuilding.   We did not focus on the loss, we focused on the restoration.  That doesn’t mean that the devastation and destruction were ignored.  It means that people were met with compassion and encouragement for the future.

There may come a time when we experience a personal hurricane in our lives.  Recovery must be our focus in that situation as well.  We cannot dwell on the devastation.   We can shed our tears and allow ourselves the necessary time to heal, then we must look ahead and determine that we WILL get through this circumstance.  We can rely on our habit pattern of positive faith-based thinking to facilitate our success.  And by working through the situation instead of giving up, we can add patience, endurance, and courage to our thought habits.  As was needed in the aftermath of Katrina, we may need help.  We should not be afraid to ask for it, remembering always that prayer is key.  Then once we have recovered, we can add fortitude, thankfulness, rejoicing and victory to our repertoire.

“Into each life some rain must fall” may be true, but it doesn’t have to defeat us.  We may not be able to prevent the rain from falling, but we can be prepared for it by collecting and maintaining the proper thoughts.  We can deal with the effects of the rain by utilizing our positive-thought habit pattern.  And when devasting storms knock us down, we can recover by sticking to our faith.

No matter what storms come through our lives, we must never give up.  In Longfellow’s poem, he recognized this by saying, “Behind the clouds is the sun still shining”.  Remember that it is light shining through the rain that makes a rainbow.  And don’t forget – you and God make a majority.  You can do this!

Note to my readers:  Thank you so much for taking this journey with me.  It is definitely a work in progress!  I hope my blogs will continue to bless you and give you a breath of fresh air each week.  Please check back on Fridays for new installments and feel free to send me comments on the “Contact Me” page.  (I don’t know if the comments tab works – I’m still learning this computer stuff.)  

And please, if you like this blog, tell your friends.

You Are Beautiful

We are all wonderfully unique with many marvelous qualities.  Yet, it seems that many of us share a common misconception that our most important quality is the way we look.  Because of that, we are overly critical of our appearance, and often dissatisfied with our looks.  This need not be!

Science says that beauty is linked to symmetry.  Instinctually, the more symmetrical, the more pleasing to the eye. However, even though we may have this built-in instinct, our thought processes are much more complex than that. Many factors are involved in our perception of beauty.  And that is what I want to talk about, particularly with regard to how we perceive ourselves. 

Our physical appearance basically boils down to genetics.  Go back as many generations as you want, and each parent of a parent of a parent lent some genetic material that resulted in you.  Now, I know that is overly simplistic, but think about it.  You didn’t choose your looks, an egg and sperm determined that for you and for your parents, and for their parents and so on.  Your nose that you might think is too big or your eyes you wish were a different color or that crooked smile were all handed down to you by generations of your family.  We are all products of our heritage in many ways, including our physical attributes.  When you look at yourself, do you see the beautiful reflection of the history of your family living their lives and making their choices?   Often our lineage offers us examples of fortitude and achievement, which we respect.   Why shouldn’t we be proud of their genes as well?  

But even if we accept and appreciate that we look the way we do because of our ancestors, we are still faced with our experiential perception of ourselves.  And that could be unkind to us.  Remember that boy in 4th grade who called you ugly?  What about those girls in high school who excluded you or made fun of you?  Perhaps even a loved one said some callous words in jest or in anger.  The hurt from any of these kinds of experiences can get lodged in our minds and tear us down in own eyes.  Don’t let it!  Past is passed!  We can’t change it, but we can put it away.  Lock it up in the ‘trunk of useless thoughts’ and throw away the key.  We do not need to harbor thoughts that hurt us.  Replace them with positive thoughts.  It’s just as simple to choose a positive thought as it is to choose a negative thought in any category, even in this one.  It may take a little more work to hold on to the positive thoughts because we are so used to the negative ones, but putting forth the effort is well worth it.

In addition, society has dictated a standard for what is called beautiful. And that standard so completely permeates our culture, that it is difficult to baulk against it. We are bombarded with images that we are told we should look like.  And frequently, it can be detrimental to us because we know we will never look like that.  But for some reason, we still continue to compare ourselves to that standard.  Whose standard is it anyway?  And why do we torment ourselves striving to attain some enigmatic standard?  

Society’s benchmark is set by some very symmetrical movie stars and models.  That’s ok.  We enjoy looking at them.  But the problem is that we somehow (intentionally or unintentionally) are made to feel inferior or second rate because we don’t match their symmetrical criteria.  Whether we do it to ourselves or the pressure of society does it to us, it is a trick that we have succumb to.  We cannot control society’s standard, but we can control our perceptions. 

Why not make your own standard?  Strip away the worldly attitudes and look at yourself in the mirror.  Do you see someone who is the product of the love that your ancestors had to have children who would have children and so forth until you?  If so, see their courage in your eyes.  Wear that nose as a badge of honor.  Do you see a good person?  A kind person?  A generous person?  A loving person?  Those are some of the qualities that make one truly beautiful, not some other person’s opinion nor a standard that society has adopted.

When we are beautiful inside, it will show through to the outside.  And it will be true beauty, long lasting beauty, and the kind of beauty that comes from a deeply meaningful reality.  Our standard should be one of love and faith.  And since the Bible says, “the greatest of these is love”, why not focus on that one?  Allowing that reality to be our standard will open our eyes to what is genuinely beautiful, not only in ourselves but also in others. 

To be clear, I’m not saying that we don’t need to take care of ourselves.  Like any other possession of value, we should take care of our physical bodies.  Health and hygiene are vitally important.  And there is nothing wrong with putting our best foot forward.  A flattering hairstyle, well-fitting clothes and maybe some make-up can not only show us in our best light, but also help us feel good about our appearance. 

My mom always used to say, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”.  As a young girl, I interpreted that in light of people looking at me and I desperately hoped it was true.  When I became a mother, I interpreted it in light of me looking at my children (and then at my grandchildren) and I knew that it was true.  Now, I endeavor to be a person who is beautiful on the inside and allow that beauty to be what I behold in myself.  I can’t say whether that has changed anyone else’s perception of me, but it has changed mine.

Behold your own beauty – inside and out; and let it shine for all to see!