Conversation

I grew up in a time before so many electronics.  In my early years, I remember our family having one TV (black and white with an antenna and no remote), a radio (with AM signal), and a record player.  None of which received my undivided attention.

Oh, I was a typical American kid, I watched TV regularly, but not all day.  Maybe Captain Kangaroo in the morning, and then off to play.  Before I started to school, I used to help my mom around the house.  The radio may have been on while we worked and we listened to the record player frequently, but those were not our main focus.  We engaged in an old-fashioned kind of entertainment – we talked.  I could list several old TV shows that I watched as a kid, but I cannot remember any of their dialogues.  But I can tell you lots of things that my mom told me even from those earliest years.

I am saddened when I see families out to dinner and every member is spending their time looking at their “devices”, even babies in highchairs!  That family may talk a lot at home, I’m not judging.  But what they demonstrate in public is a lack of conversation.  And it is not uncommon.  The popularity of handheld electronics has overshadowed the benefits of good ol’ conversing. 

A conversation can be a discussion of ideas or opinions.  It can be relaying information or news.  It can be a lively debate about different viewpoints.  It can be a heartfelt sharing of innermost thoughts.  It can be simply getting to know someone.  Conversations are personal interactions between people who are mutually expressing themselves.  They may be enlightening, or infuriating.  They may be enjoyable or heartbreaking.  But regardless of their content, they are still our main vehicle of communicating with each other.

Why is this important?

Because, without conversation, we never really know someone.  Observing someone’s actions can be a good indicator of their character.  And those actions are usually the basis of our initial impression of them.  But we really don’t know who they are without talking to them and hearing what they have to say.  And this does not happen in one conversation.  Continuing conversations reveal much about someone, which may lead to a connection, which in turn, may lead to pursuing a relationship.

Think about the people in your life who are the closest to your heart.  They are generally the ones with whom you share the deepest conversations.   Those with whom you bare your soul.  They are privy to your innermost thoughts and desires.  They know your secrets and you know theirs.  These things are accomplished and fostered through ongoing conversations that involve trust and sincerity.

Of course, we don’t share that kind of conversation with everyone.  We all have people like friends, acquaintances, co-workers, neighbors, etc. in our lives with whom we have affable conversations.  Those conversations are lighthearted and enjoyable most of the time.  However, they are not intimate heart-sharings.  These amicable relationships are also important in our lives.  Chances are we have many more friends on this level than we do on the deeply personal level.  But both are necessary.  Both fulfill us and make us happy.  And both involve conversations. 

One of the most important things in any relationship is being able to converse.  I might go so far as to say that conversation is critical to the health of any relationship.  We don’t know what someone is thinking unless they tell us.  We can’t expect anyone to know what we are thinking unless we tell them.  How many times have arguments arisen because of a misunderstanding due to a lack of clear conversation?  How many times have we harbored hurts instead of addressing them through conversation?  How many times have relationships failed because there was no conversation to confront the issues?  All these scenarios could be avoided through honest conversation.  (A word of caution here, honest does not mean cruel.  Hurtful words should have no place in our conversations.)

Conversations are not limited to speaking with our voice.  Written letters can be wonderful conversations, even in texts and emails.  Gestures can convey thoughts without words.  But neither of those can replace the connection that can be achieved by talking face to face.  A phone call can cross the miles between family and friends who live far away.  But how much better is a visit?  Conversations solidify family ties; strengthen lifetime bonds; and build meaningful friendships and loving marriages.  Conversations can make our day, change our minds, uplift us, and comfort us in time of need.

And of course, the most important conversation we can have, is the one we have with our Heavenly Father.  Prayer is a conversation with God.  We speak to Him and He responds.  We ask and He answers.  When we are troubled, God is ready and willing to help.  We can tell Him anything.  And we can always trust His solutions.  We can bare our souls before Him, and He will listen even though He already knows our hearts.  Our innermost secrets are no secret to Him.  His comforts delight our souls.  His peace stills our fears.  His love never fails!  God wants us to have conversations with Him, but it’s up to us to open the door.  God is waiting to hear from us.  So, let’s make sure that we take the time to talk to Him.

Here’s an idea.  Instead of putting our devices in front of our faces, why not strike up a conversation with someone?  What have we got to lose?  The worst that could happen is that someone tells us to go pound salt.  So what?  There are many more fish in the sea.  Maybe the next person we talk to will become a soulmate.  But we’ll never know unless we open our mouths.  Let’s work to keep the art of conversation alive.

Note to my readers:  This is my side of the conversation.  What’s yours?  Thanks for reading!