I bought a birthday card for my son that mentioned the stages of a child’s life. So, of course I began to reflect on the stages of all my kids’ lives. There were good times and bad times, ups and downs, easy stages and difficult ones. But now, each one of my children fills my heart with pride and admiration. They are terrific adults.
People go through many stages from infancy to adulthood. Life is always a work in progress. We are ever learning, ever growing, and ever changing. And this process continues throughout every stage of life. In remembering the stages of my kids’ lives, I am reminded of my own life, and the stories I’ve heard from family and friends. So many memories, so much life and it all took place in stages.
Infancy is the beginning – the first stage. Newborn babies are basically clean slates. They are born knowing nothing of the outside world. They respond to sensations in their bodies, and some external stimulation. They recognize discomfort – like hungry, tired, or cold; and they know that they don’t like those things! And that’s about all they know. Newborns have one way of communicating – crying.
As babies grow, parents introduce more stimuli – the sound of their voices, the feel of their embrace, the routine of their lives. Babies learn that their parents are the source of their care and comfort. As parents talk to their babies, they begin to learn more ways of communicating. Is there anything more precious than a baby cooing or laughing? There was a video circulating online of a dad making his baby laugh over and over by tearing a piece of paper. I could have watched it all day because the sound of that laughter tickled my heart. At the opposite end, I was told a long time ago that the sound of babies crying is buried as a subliminal sound in scary movies because it is so unnerving to the adult ear. I believe it. There is nothing better than hearing a baby laughing and nothing worse than hearing one crying.
As babies grow physically, their motor skills develop. Generally, parents welcome every new ability. Rolling over, sitting up, walking and talking are all major milestones in a baby’s growth. These skills are not only welcomed, but also lauded. Here is an interesting sidelight, however – parents are usually very anxious for their first child to accomplish all these milestones, but sometimes not so much for their second. Why? Because they realize that babies grow up so fast, they want the chance to savor this baby stage again in their second child as long as possible.
Then comes toddlerhood. Children’s learning and growing progress at an alarming rate of speed in this stage. And another thing happens – children’s wills begin to develop. You may have heard the term, “terrible twos”. That phrase was coined because around two years old, children often become obstinate or self-willed. First-time parents may find this particularly difficult as they may not be prepared for this battle of the wills. But it is a natural part of growing up. A friend told me once that a stubborn child grows up into an adult with convictions. I don’t know if that’s true, but it helped me to deal with the battles. Other parts of toddlerhood are fun and entertaining. Children are beginning to express themselves in various ways, which are often humorous. They are also learning how to function, and that can be very entertaining as well.
The pre-school years were some of my favorites. Children have an innocence that is very enjoyable in this stage. Communications between parents and children become more engaging. Children are inquisitive and anxious to learn. They want to hear what their parents have to say. (This is not necessarily true in later stages!) Parents have a great opportunity in this stage to teach their children the values that they want them to have. Family and close friends remain the dominant role models during these years, and bonds are solidified.
Then come the school years. These years have definite effects on every child’s life. School years advance in increasing complexity. In Elementary School, life is simple, and the challenges are not too difficult to handle. Family ties are still strong, but outside influences do begin to show up in children’s conversations and behavior. Now, not all outside influences are bad, some are welcomed additions to children’s experiences. Battling unwelcome influences, however, is an ongoing concern. But that fight is more manageable during the Elementary School stage than in later stages.
In the Junior High stage, challenges can become more problematic for various reasons, but one of the biggest impacts is a little thing called hormones. ☹ Jr. High challenges are often accompanied by peer pressures and/or contrary attitudes. Children’s lives become complicated and difficult in their own eyes; and they may tend to avoid parental advice. This stage rolls right into the High School stage where all these things may seem to be multiplied and magnified. By the High School stage, children might begin to resist or resent parental influence. They might even decide that they are smarter than their parents. They want to spread their wings and fly into adulthood unfettered by rules or restrictions (or reality). These years can be difficult for both parents and children. I will say though, that I have many marvelous memories of my kids’ high school years, but some not so good ones too.
The next stage is young adulthood. After High School, children may head off to college or into the workforce. Either way, children are developing their own lives and securing their own futures. They will make many decisions without counsel from their parents and determine for themselves in what direction they want to proceed. This is an exciting stage for young people but might be a trying one for parents as they must step back and let go.
Children eventually become full-blown adults with their own lives and families. It may have taken many stages for them to get to that point, but suddenly (it seems) our children are no longer children. (Yet they will always be our babies!) We watch them go through a lot of the stages that we went through. We offer assistance and advice when we can. But we allow our children the opportunity to experience their own stages, just like we did.
Reflecting on my children’s lives as well as my own, I see that each stage builds on the last and each stage results in our being a little wiser. In these few general stages that I have listed, there are usually many sub-stages and side trips. But all these things work together to give us the lives that we have right now. All the stages, whether good or bad, have taught us something. It is up to us to learn from both. We must determine for ourselves what we do with all that learning. We must be willing to admit when we’re wrong and be enthusiastic with our apologies. We do not gloat over our successes nor compare ourselves to others. We must remember that all these things result in growth and wisdom. (eventually)
I love learning new things. I laugh when I learn something that I should have known a long time ago – like using scissors to cut artichoke leaves. Who knew?? I may resist change at times, but I’m always happier when the changes are made. I’m quite aware that I’m not perfect, and I try not to beat myself up too much when I make mistakes. I have no problem saying, “I’m sorry,” or “I need help.” I seek to see the good in people and to bless folks whenever I can. These are all things that I have learned through the many stages of my life.
Stages come and stages go, but there is one constant through all of them – and that is God. No matter what stage we are in, or watching our children in, God gives us the strength we need to weather the storms and He provides the victory for our rejoicing. He helps us stand, He guides our steps, He picks us up when we fall. He never leaves us, nor forsakes us. (Hebrews 13:5)
Stages are merely steppingstones in our lives; one leads to the next. And God is right there with us every step of the way. We can claim His exceeding great and precious promises in ANY and EVERY stage of life.
Note to my readers: Enjoy whatever stage of life you’re in and look forward to the next one. Thanks for reading.