Food for Thought…

I heard someone online comparing and contrasting “nice” and “kind”.  I can’t say that I agreed with his whole conversation, but this one thing caught my ear.  He said (loosely quoted), “people are nice because they want others to like them, but people are kind because they care about others.”  And he encouraged people to be kind.

I contemplated whether this statement was accurate or not; and whether kind is really preferrable.

The Merriam Webster Dictionary defines nice as:  polite, kind, pleasing, agreeable, appropriate, or fitting. 

MW defines kind as: of a sympathetic or helpful nature, of a forbearing nature, gentle, affectionate or loving.

What I see in these definitions is that they indicate being nice is a way of behaving; but being kind is an innate quality that can be manifested.  These definitions also suggest that it is possible to be nice without being kind; but someone who is kind is probably always nice.  It seems that sincerity could be absent in being nice but would be present in being kind.

Like most Christian parents, I endeavored to teach my children to adhere to the instructions given in the Bible.  And I told my children to “be nice” a million times.  However, the word nice does not appear at all in the King James version of the Bible, and only a few times in other versions, which all refer to things not people.

The word kind (in various forms) is used many times in the Bible.  Often, it is used to describe God.  He shows His marvelous kindness to us.  He is extraordinarily kind to us.  His merciful kindness comforts us. 

Psalm 117:2 – For his merciful kindness is great toward us: and the truth of the LORD endureth for ever. Praise ye the LORD.

There are many more verses that talk about God’s kindness.  It is interesting to note that the words merciful and kindness in this verse are the same Hebrew word used twice for emphasis.  In addition, that Hebrew word is often translated mercy.

The Greek word for kindness in the New Testament is translated gentleness in Galatians.

Galatians 5:22 – But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness (kindness), goodness, faith,

Gentleness / kindness is a fruit of the spirit, not a fruit of good works. 

In addition, we are instructed to be kind.

Ephesians 4:32 – And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

The context of this verse is the new man – the born-again Christian who is filled with holy spirit.  The new man endeavors to walk as Jesus Christ did.  Jesus’ example for us follow in this case is his kindness.  How kind was Jesus?  Well, he gave his life for us so that we could be saved even though we did nothing to deserve it!  That’s pretty kind!!  This verse also shows us some of the characteristics of kindness – being tenderhearted and forgiving. 

There are lots more examples of kindness in the Bible, so I think it’s safe to say that God is kind and wants us to be kind as well.  And, as it always is with God, whatever He asks us to do is profitable to us. 

I have talked in prior posts about the insecurities I had in my youth.  In high school, I never thought that I was pretty enough to be popular, and I was rather shy.  I was an outcast of my own making.  Then one day I decided that since I couldn’t capitalize on the usual criteria for popularity, I would be nice.  Everyone likes a nice person, right?  So, I was the nicest person I could be. And people liked me because of that.  I guess my experience substantiates the idea that people are nice because they want others to like them.  But is this wrong?

There is nothing wrong with being nice.  I think people should be nice to one another.  But we also need to consider that people have different concepts about what nice is.  To some, it is simply good manners.  To others, it is being agreeable or friendly.  Those are what being nice should be.  But some think that being nice is always saying, “yes”, thus allowing people to take advantage of them.  That is a mistaken notion and does not help anybody.

Being kind because you genuinely care about others keeps mistaken notions out of the equation.  Therefore, you are free to give as much as you want.  And the kindness you give actually benefits you as much as others.  You are fulfilled because you are doing the right thing.  You are unselfishly endeavoring to help and bless others.  God loves a cheerful giver and being kind is a way of giving! 

So, my conclusion to the matter is this…  The opening statement is essentially accurate.  The motivation for being nice indeed can be to get people to like you.  And that rationale includes an element of being self-centered.  However, I don’t think that attitude is the only motivation for every act of niceness.  Being nice could be evidence of a kind nature, which is a good thing.  And I agree that kindness stems from genuinely caring for others.  So, it seems that kindness actually would be preferrable. 

So, let’s make kindness a priority in our lives.  Let’s seek ways to bless others by being kind and loving.  Let’s walk in that kindness as we have Jesus Christ for our example.  And then we can bask in all the blessings that God will shower down upon us for our giving and doing His Will. 

2 Peter 1:5-8  And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness;  And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity.  For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Note to my readers:  I apologize for the long time between posts.  But please know that you are very special to me, and I am very thankful for your support.  I’m working diligently to get back on my two-times-a-month posting schedule.  ♥

Even as a child, I loved history.  It all began with fairy tales.  Kings, queens, princesses, castles – I loved it all.  I wanted to be a princess, not for wealth or power, but to wear beautiful dresses and live in a fancy house.  (And when I got a little older – for the romance of prince charming finding me!)   These fairy tales painted history for me.  And when I went to school and learned about actual kings and queens, I viewed that history through my fairy-tale lenses.   

As I grew and began to separate fact from fiction, I still enjoyed learning history.  Even now, I am intrigued by the civilizations of the past; how people lived and what their day-to-day lives must have been like.  I appreciate the people of old for their ingenuity, fortitude, skills and accomplishments.  I am fascinated by the construction feats of the ancient cultures and impressed that there are structures like the castles in Europe that were built hundreds and hundreds of years ago and still can be lived in. 

I love fashion throughout history.  I stand in amazement of the artwork of the great masters and the music of the great composers.  All these things are windows into the culture of their time.  I am partial to antiques and handmade crafts because they depict skills that are waning in this day and time.

I love my ancestry.  I wish I could have met my great-grandparents or at least heard stories about their lives.  I wish I had asked more questions of my grandparents.  And I wish I had written down the stories they did tell me. 

There is nothing wrong with appreciating the past.  There is no harm in studying history.  Understanding the past helps us now because we can learn from it.  And our past is definitely a factor in who we are.  But our appreciation of the past can never overshadow our dedication to the present. 

If we view the past as a more desirable time to live, it is likely due to one of two things.  Either we are still looking at the past through fairy-tale lenses; or we are dissatisfied with our current circumstances.  It might be a combination of both. 

So, what’s the answer?

You must realize that right now, this moment in time, is your slice of history.  This is your time to shine!  This is your chance to make a difference.  This is your opportunity to be part of history! 

The Bible tells us that God chose us from before the foundation of the world.  (Ephesians 1:4)  And we know that God is omniscient.  So, it stands to reason that when God called us, He knew exactly when and where we would live.  In other words, God called each one of us to be alive right now, right here.  This is our time and place.  This is our slice of history.

And God, by His grace and mercy has called us to a very wonderful time and place in history.  A time and place that the Bible is readily available and freely taught.  A time and place of freedom to speak God’s Word and proclaim His goodness.  A time and place that we can pray as likeminded believers and see great signs, miracles and wonders following.  A time and place that we are freed from the fetters of sin and guilt.  A time and place that we can live our lives super abundantly because we are born again.

What are we going to do with this freedom?  Are we going to stand on the Biblical principles that our country was founded on?  Are we going to proclaim that God is our Father and His son, Christ Jesus has made us free?  Are we going to tell others about God’s Word so they too can be saved?

John 8:36 – If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.

This is our time and our slice of history.  Today!  Right now!  We are making history, and the world is a  better place because we are here.  Our lives are important.  Our earthen vessels are filled to capacity with a priceless commodity – Christ in us, the hope of glory.  We are bringing the way of God, the truth of God and the light of God to our generation. 

Let’s make the most of our own slice of history.   Let’s take a stand for God, being clothed with the whole armor He gave us.  Let’s speak God’s Word with boldness and let’s love one another with God’s love.  In this world, we have only this moment in history, let’s live and give our utmost for His Highest! 

We may never be written about in the history books.  There may never be a statue of us in the town square.  People may never ask for our autographs.  But in God’s eyes we are everything!  Not only are our names written in God’s Book of Life, but we also have the privilege and responsibility to help others get their names written in there too!  God has no other hands but our hands…

Note to my readers:  Enjoy your slice of history!  Challenge yourself to really see how important you are, not only to the world, but also to God!   Thanks for reading. 

I have a friend who, while taking notes of a Bible teaching, accidently typed the word “nope” instead of “hope”.  (N and H are very close on the keyboard!)  When she saw the typo, she laughed and said, “Nope?? That’s about as far away from hope as you can get!”

Her story got me thinking…

There is way too much nope in the world.  We hear it every day.  “Nope” is the world’s answer-of-choice to every question. 

For instance… 

Question:  “Will I recover from this illness?”

The world’s answer:  “Nope.  But here are some drugs you can try.”

Question:  “Will I get this job?”

The world’s answer:  “Nope.  There are many people more qualified than you.”

Question:  “Will I find my soulmate?”

The world’s answer:  “Nope.  All the good ones are already taken.”

These may seem like silly examples, but isn’t that how the world always responds?  Whatever we wonder about, the world has a discouraging answer for.  How about the young girl who wonders if she is pretty enough?   The world almost always answers, “nope”.  And the businessman who wonders if he is successful enough.  The world always, always answers, “nope”!  Even the question, “Can I do this?” often meets with a resounding, “NOPE” from the world.   

Nope is the prevailing attitude of our society because all the schemes of the world are always negative.  They are designed to keep people down and prevent them from achieving their best.  They are disheartening, degrading and can be down-right debilitating.  Nope promotes fear.  And with all this nope in this world, people can certainly become dismayed. 

So, what’s the solution?  The solution to nope is HOPE!

To be clear, I am talking about hope as it’s delineated in the Bible.  People talk about hope in the world, but that hope is hollow.  It is fraught with uncertainty.  “I hope I win the lottery.” That statement really means, “I wish I’d win lottery.”  There is no solid foundation to base that hope on, so it’s just a wish and a big fat “if”.  The hope of the Bible is a sure thing; it is based on the foundation of God’s Word.  It is not an “if”, but a “when”.  There is no doubt that the things of God for which we hope, shall come to pass. 

In Biblical terms, hope is what we have for things that are not available right now.  We believe for the things that we can have now; but we hope for the things of the future. 

There is a hope in the Bible called THE hope, which is the hope of Christ’s return.  Christ’s return is a promise that God made to us.  And this promise is even more sure than the rising of the sun in the morning.   If God says that He is going to do something, He IS going to do it, and all hell can’t stop Him.  God said that He is going to send His son to gather us together unto Him and so shall we ever be with the Lord.  That is an uncontestable promise of an unstoppable event.  Therefore, we have THE hope as the anchor of our souls!  We KNOW that Christ is coming back for us.  And THE hope overrules every single nope. 

In our daily lives, we also have many other hopes.  I’ve heard them referred to as “little hopes”.  For example, I hope my family can visit for Christmas.  It’s something that is not available today, so it’s a hope.  And that hope anticipates a positive outcome.  I can act now by praying with believing and making plans for that time.  I can picture all the fun we’ll have.  But doing those things does not bring Christmas any sooner.  Christmas will still be December 25^th.

Hope in the things of God, carries His guarantee.  God’s words, His abilities and His promises never fail.  And God never changes.  So, our hope in Him is sure.  We are never disappointed in our expectation when we put our hope and trust in God.  However, our hope in people, or circumstances does not carry such a guarantee.  People change their minds, situations arise, any number of things can go awry.  But that shouldn’t stop us from being hopeful.  Isn’t staying hopeful much better than giving into nope? 

Hope encourages.  Nope discourages.  Hope anticipates a positive outcome.  Nope prevents a positive outcome.  Hope strengthens people’s resolve.  Nope beats people down.  We can rejoice when we have hope.  We are defeated when we have nope.  Expecting the best outcome, which hope does, makes that outcome a possibility.  Giving in to the negative schemes of the world, which nope does, eliminates any possibility of success.

There will always be nope in the world.  But hope can guard us from nope’s negative effects. Hope trounces nope every time! 

Psalm 42:5  Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.

We can hold on to hope with its positive expectations because we can pray and believe.  And when we pray and believe, we can always, always, always count on God! 

Jeremiah 17:7  Blessed is the man that trusteth in the LORD, and whose hope the LORD is.

Note to my readers:  God is faithful today, tomorrow and forever.  We can always keep our hope in Him!  Thanks for reading. 

Have you ever heard the saying, “My way or the highway”? 

Many common sayings of today come from ancient roots, sometimes even Biblical roots.  “My way or the highway” is not one of them.  It was coined in the 1970’s and thought to be first used in relation to hitchhiking.  I understand its meaning and even its value in certain circumstances.

You might have heard this saying in the context of a dad speaking to his teenager when they have a difference of opinion.  The dad is saying that he is in charge of the family and if the teenager doesn’t like it, they are free to leave.  Generally, this is an idle threat because dads really don’t want their teenagers to leave, but they are trying to make a point.  And having raised three teenagers, I recognize how difficult parent-teenager communication can be!

We may have heard a coach or employer utilize this saying. In both cases, the ultimatum usually is intended, which isn’t always a bad thing.  A coach needs his players to follow his directions in order to properly function as a team and achieve a specific goal – to win!  If a player refuses to cooperate, they could affect the whole team’s performance, and thus should not be part of that team.  The coach may need to show that player the highway.

Employers also have precise requirements that need to be followed in order to achieve their business objectives.  Employees must obey the applicable laws, comply with company directives and policies, and adhere to multiple rules and regulations.  If an employee chooses not to do those things, he could jeopardize the company’s success, or worse – hurt himself or others.  Therefore, he shouldn’t work for that company and probably should be asked to hit the highway.

In all these examples, “my way” needs to be acknowledged.  A father, a coach, and an employer all have responsibilities to uphold.  Their roles put them in positions of authority.  And as such, their instructions should be heeded.  But what happens if “my way” is the wrong way?  What do we do then?

Do we need to obey wrong edicts?  No!  If we find ourselves in a situation where we are confronted with a way that is wrong (morally or any other way) and we cannot follow it in good conscience, we can show ourselves the highway.  If a person in authority asks us to do something that goes against our convictions, we have the right to choose our response.  However, our response is not a decision to be made lightly.  In many cases, a difference of opinion can be settled by both sides agreeing to listen to the other’s viewpoint and find an acceptable solution.  But if that doesn’t work, the highway may be the only option. 

People in authority should be good examples to follow.  They should lead by doing.  They should care about the people they’re leading, and they should aim to do the right thing.  Their respect should be genuinely earned, not coerced.  For example, a good dad has his children’s best interests at heart.  He endeavors to lead his children in the right way by his own actions and words.  He wants his children to grow up to be successful and happy.  He tries to act judiciously.  And in order to accomplish these things, he knows that discipline must be involved (hence a teenager’s opposition).  A good dad knows that discipline is a necessary part of life, but he is not a tyrant.

In our culture today, discipline has almost become a “dirty word”.  Receiving discipline is equated to cruel and unusual punishment.  Requiring discipline is considered to be stifling and restrictive.  Our culture touts the idea that “anything goes – no limits” is the key to happiness.  Yet, that attitude is actually completely stifling and restrictive because only the loudest and most outrageous people are heard, and alternative opinions or ideas are suppressed.  People are afraid speak out in disagreement, which is the very essence of oppression. 

Quite the opposite attitude is true.  Great athletes, artists, entrepreneurs, and such know that discipline is critical to their achievements.  They all practice mental and physical discipline in order to attain their goals.  And what is more satisfying than achieving a goal that you’ve been striving toward?  Talk about happiness! 

Disciplined people have FOCUS.  And they use that focus to hit their targets.  They know that without discipline, there is no focus.  And without focus, there is no clear path.  And without a clear path, people wander aimlessly. 

So, putting this all together, “My way or the highway” can be a good saying if it’s spoken to encourage positive results, not to be threatening.  It can be a call to work together to allay  differences.  And if it is received with an attitude of cooperation, it can produce much profit.

If you are the one saying, “my way…” just remember;  Jesus Christ is THE way, the truth and the life (John 14:6).  THE way indicates that there is only ONE right way.  In other words, “my way” must line up with THE way in order to be right.  Is your way lined up?  If not, you might have some work to do.

If you are the one hearing, “…or the highway” just remember;  all highways go somewhere.  You determine your destination.  Whether the trip is planned for you, or you plan it yourself, you are still the one who steers the vehicle.  And you can be comforted in knowing that even if your journey involves detours or traversing steep mountains and treacherous roads; God will always provide safe travels. 

Note to my readers:  Lining up your thoughts with THE way and trusting God on your way is the best way to go!  Thanks for reading!

The world is always promoting new and better.  Societies probably have always been that way, but the idea has been especially prevalent in our society since the mid-19^th century, when the Industrial Revolution began to take off.   Below is a quote from the Britannica website:

“The Industrial Revolution transformed economies that had been based on agriculture and handicrafts into economies based on large-scale industry, mechanized manufacturing, and the factory system. New machines, new power sources, and new ways of organizing work made existing industries more productive and efficient. New industries also arose, including, in the late 19th century, the automobile industry.”  

This is called progress.  And don’t get me wrong, I certainly appreciate the modern conveniences that progress has produced.  But I often wonder, “at what cost?”  Like so many things in life, progress is a double-edged sword.  New and better isn’t always best.

Our society today is totally driven by its economic structure.  When the economy is good, life is good.  When the economy is bad, life stinks.  And at the core of our economy is the mighty DOLLAR.  The worth of just about everything is determined by the dollar-value it has or can generate rather than by its innate quality.  Even the worth of a person is considered in dollars more than by character in this money-crazy society! 

Our society requires us to have money to function.  So, we have jobs to earn money.  Then we use that money to get the things we need to be able to live our lives.  For the most part, the system works, but it can also open the door to negative responses like greed or envy.  Of course, this is not a new thing, we have seen greed and envy throughout all history.  But it seems to me that in this day and time, these things are running rampant!  I might go so far as to say that the dollar has become some people’s god.  And at the root of their thinking is the love of money, which the Bible clearly admonishes us against.

1 Timothy 6:10 – For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.

I don’t think that the majority of people, especially Christians, are caught in the snare that 1Timothy 6:10 is talking about.  But I do think we might drift toward it sometimes.  Not that we love money necessarily, but our wants and needs might get out of balance.  In other words, our wants may outweigh our needs and overshadow our desires.  And that unbalance is promulgated by worldly strategies.  The schemes of the world are intended to draw us into the money pit and keep us there. 

Do you ever watch TV?  If so, you know that commercials account for at least half (probably more) of your viewing time.  We are bombarded with ads, all of which are aimed at getting into our wallets.  And if we are not careful, we will open our wallets more than we should.  We can fall prey to the ‘new and better’ scheme.  We can end up craving new and better, even when what we have isn’t old and worse. 

For example, you have a perfectly good toaster.  But you see that Williams Sonoma has a SMEG Dolce & Gabbana 2-Slice Toaster, in Blu Mediterraneo design for only $700.  Suddenly, your toaster is not good enough and you yearn for this incredibly new and better toaster.  Every time you use your perfectly good toaster, you think, “I wish I had that beautiful new toaster.” And you become dissatisfied with what you have.  This is how the scheme works to keep us buying more and more, thus making someone else richer and us poorer.

Now, my example may be exaggerated (although, there really is a toaster like that at Williams Sonoma!) but I bet we all have experienced wishing for things.  That is exactly what the worldly schemes are devised to do.  Wishing for things never acquires them.  It is a futile effort that leaves us unhappy and wanting.  And when we are wanting, we are “easy marks” for the world’s trickery.

Does anyone really NEED a $700 toaster?  Probably not.  But the world dangles these kinds of things before our eyes so that we focus on what we don’t have instead of being thankful for what we do have.  The world wants us to resent that others can have a $700 toaster, but we cannot.  That attitude is envy.  And there is great verse about that:

Proverbs 14:30 – A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones.

Envy and greed work together to keep people in bondage because neither can be gratified. 

Greed seeks to amass great wealth.  Of course, this doesn’t mean that every wealthy person is evil.  Wealth in and of itself is neither good nor bad.  But wealth can be used for good or bad.  We must remember that God looks on the heart.  And it is the wealthy person’s heart that determines whether they will give or take; whether they will be selfish or selfless. 

The avaricious person is never satisfied.  In its nature, greed is insatiable.  When greed is one’s sole motivation, love is absent in every category except for the “love of money”.  And we already know that is “the root of all evil”.  Hate and greed go hand-in-hand, just like love and giving.  But they are polar opposites.  And in the end, hate kills, but love makes alive.

Now, I am pretty sure that no one who reads my blog is steeped in greed or envy.  But, if you are anything like me, you might feel twinges of them from time to time.  You might feel like you are lacking while others have plenty.  You may long for what they have or begrudge them having it.   If you ever find yourself having those feelings; the cure is to remember that God is bigger than anything the world has to offer.  God is our loving, caring Father.  He has no favorites.  He never leaves us nor forsakes us. 

Hebrews 13:5 – Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

Isn’t it interesting that the wonderful promise that God will never leave us nor forsake us is in the context of avoiding covetousness? 

God is our sufficiency.  He promised to supply all our need.  Jesus Christ came that we could have an abundant life.  So, what are we lacking?  NOTHING!  When we live for God, our lives are rich and full beyond measure.  We are filled with many wonderful things that money can’t buy.  And we have great peace, which neither greed nor envy could ever provide.

1 Timothy 6:6,7  But godliness with contentment is great gain.  For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out.

And here’s the kicker… 

If you really want that $700 toaster, and you have the means to get it, go for it.  As long as that toaster isn’t more important to you than God is, He doesn’t care what kind of toaster you have.  If new and better blesses you, get new and better.  It’s all a matter of heart.  Material abundance is not a bad thing if our hearts are right before God. 

Matthew 6:33  But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

Keep God FIRST in your life. Allow Him to be your supplier.

As it is with everything in this life, financial prosperity is a balance.  And the keys to maintaining that balance are thankfulness and giving.  We must be thankful for what we have and willing to share of our abundance.  When we live like that, material things won’t hold the allure that the world promotes.  We will be made free from the greed and envy, which are running so rampant today.  And the peace of God will rule in our hearts.

Note to my readers:  Life is short.  Don’t let dollar signs cloud your joy.  Thanks for reading. 

What a glorious day it was when I realized that I didn’t have to prove my worth anymore. 

I have spent most of my life trying to prove my worth.  This attitude stemmed from my taking other’s comments too personally, being crushed by criticism, or discouraged by failures.  Instead of pushing past these things, I harbored feelings of inadequacy and focused on my shortcomings.  It became so much a part of me that it was just my normal way of thinking. 

To be clear, proving my worth is not the same as proving myself.  We might face situations in life that require us to challenge ourselves to rise to the occasion.  We prove ourselves by accepting that challenge.  And that is a good thing.  It is how we build confidence, learn and grow.  Proving our worth comes from thinking that we are not good enough, or thinking we are inferior to others.  It is trying to compensate for something we feel that we are lacking. 

Allow me to explain…

I was a happy kid.  I had a loving family, a best friend, and lots of neighborhood buddies.  I was content to entertain myself, but never missed a play date or a birthday party.  My life was full of fun and adventure.  I had no worries. 

But then puberty hit.  All of the sudden, I learned that I was different from other kids.  All the things that I thought were fine, were now unacceptable by teenage standards.  I learned that the way I dressed was wrong, the things I liked to do were wrong, the things I said were wrong, even the way I danced was wrong.  And the ‘wrongest’ of all was the way I looked.  I was a second-class citizen and therefore I needed to prove my worth – at least that is how it seemed to me. 

However, I wasn’t a totally miserable teenager, I had friends and a somewhat enjoyable social life.  But in the back of my mind, I never felt like I was

good enough.  I was always trying, but never quite succeeding to measure up to the teenage standard, which in reality was an approval standard that I placed on myself (although I didn’t realize that at the time).

In later teenage years, I came into my own, as they say.  I lost weight and began to feel better about myself.  I had a new standard – to be different.  I started to express myself in the way I dressed and how I acted.  I wore funky clothes, including some outfits that were my mom’s from the 1940s.  I found a group to which I could belong because they marched to the beat of a different drum.  We were called “hippies”.  And for a short time, I thought that all was right with the world. 

But into my new scene, enter stage left… boys!  Having an air of confidence and looking more acceptable by girlfriend standards, I started receiving attention from boys.  But after a string of broken hearts, my self-esteem took a nosedive.  Soon, even though my looks had not changed, I started feeling poorly about myself again.  I reinstated my own unattainable standard and my self-worth plummeted.  But I had learned in all my teenage wisdom how to hide my insecurities.  I learned to act like I didn’t care what anyone else thought, but deep down, it was a consuming theme in all my thinking.

During my senior year of high school, I got saved.  Everything changed – at least on the outside.  My life was blessed, and a new standard was introduced.  I was released from the old teenage and girlfriend standards, only to put myself under another standard, the Bible’s standard.  Don’t get me wrong, we should strive to live by the standard of God’s Word, BUT not to the end that we put ourselves in bondage to it, which is what I did.  

I wanted to be right with God’s Word, but try as I might, it seemed that I was always falling short.  I looked around and everyone else seemed to be more accomplished in the scriptures than I.  I felt that I just didn’t measure up.  I sought to adhere to God’s standard to the best of my ability, but of course, sometimes I missed the mark.  It was at those times that my mind jumped right back into its old habit of thinking that I needed to prove my worth – sometimes even to God.

Habits are easy to do and sometimes hard to change.  They are usually comfortable because they require little effort of mind.  Good habits help us function in our day to day living.  Bad habits, like feeling that you need to prove your worth, work against us.  Even though we try to refute our bad habits, they still might sneak up on us. 

The Bible refers to these old habits of mind as part of  “the old man”.  And our old man is always with us.  The scriptures admonish us to reckon him dead, which is achieved by renewing our minds to the truth of God’s Word.  But our old man isn’t quietly riding off into the sunset.  He likes to rear his ugly head whenever he can.  And sometimes because of old habits, we can find ourselves smack dab in the middle of our old man thoughts before we realize where we are.

So it was with me.  My old habit of thinking that I had to prove my worth lingered in the back of my mind even after I got born again.  I still felt like I had to prove my worth as a believer and in every other way.  But one day, the light bulb lit up! 

We judge the worth of an item by the amount someone is willing to pay for it, right?  What price was God willing to pay for us?

John 3:16  For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

God was willing to pay the life of His only begotten son for us.  Think about it – the Creator of the heaven and earth paid the greatest price ever for ME and for YOU!   I no longer need to prove my worth.  God gave me worth beyond any that I could give myself!  Doesn’t it seem more logical to trust God’s opinion of us more than our own, or another’s?  God’s opinions are always, always, always RIGHT!  Ours are hit or miss at best! 

God’s Word is the truth; and we cannot pick and choose what parts we want to believe and what parts we don’t.   So, why do we think that we are less than what the Word of God says we are?  Old man habits!  Reckon them dead.  And if they bother you again, reckon them dead again!  It’s a process, but the truth will win in the end! 

Perhaps my story is very different than yours, I hope so.  I hope that no one else had to succumb to the heartache of believing that they were second-class citizens.  I hope no one else placed unattainable standards on themselves and spent years trying to prove their worth.  But if you did, rest assured that God has ascribed great worth to each one of us.  And no matter what others say or think about you; no matter what worldly standards you measure yourself against, you were chosen by God before the foundation of the earth to be called a son of the Most High.  Our worth has been determined by God.  We are PRICELESS!  We have nothing to prove to anyone including ourselves.  We have only to accept the things that God freely gave us via His only begotten son, Jesus Christ.

We should stand tall and proud and be thankful!  Our worth is beyond measure in God’s eyes.  God made us completely, completely, absolutely complete.  We have NO lack.

Note to my readers:  You are the BEST!!  Thanks for reading! 

(To avoid any confusion in case you read my previous post about my brother from Alaska, this post is about my other brother.)

No one is ever really prepared to lose a loved one.  It is always a heart-breaking experience.  But at these times, our faith in God really comes into play.  We can be strong, and we can have peace because God is our refuge and strength at all times, and especially at these times. 

Psalm 46:1 –  God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

We can be comforted because God is the God of comfort.

2 Corinthians 1:3, 4 – Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.  (that’s a lot of comfort!!)

We can have hope because God promised us eternal life. 

Titus 1:2  In hope of eternal life, which God, that cannot lie, promised before the world began;

These are just a few of the scriptures that help us at these times.  There are many more.  Yet, even with our wholehearted trust in God, there will still be tears.  That’s okay!  Like my friend always says, “we’re not robots!”  Separation hurts.  But after the pain subsides a little, we can recall the good times and be thankful to have had that person in our lives. 

So, it is with my brother. 

Although his birth name was Laurie, after the character in Little Women, he never really embraced that name.  Of course, Mom always called him by his given name, but as kids we always called him Gummer.  I asked my brother, Jon once why we called him that, and he said, “because he is always chewing gum.”  I don’t know if that was actually the reason, but he has always been Gummer to me.  In fact, all my kids called him, “Uncle Gummer” when they were young.  We even had a t-shirt made for him with that name on it. 

Right before my freshman year in high school, we moved from Pittsburgh to Ohio, but Gummer stayed in Pittsburgh.  It was during this time that he adopted the name “Sarge”.  He told me once that he got that name from organizing the trip and taking charge of the group of friends who all went to Woodstock in 1969.  He still allowed me to call him Gummer, even though he preferred Sarge.  And over the years, I have tried to amend my ways to honor his wishes. 

Sarge was my closest sibling in age, only 5 years older.  We were close, not only because of age, but also because he was a gentle soul (Jon was rather short-tempered growing up).  The two brothers were always getting into some kind of mischief, and it seemed that they were in trouble more than they weren’t.  Some of the family sagas include the time they set the curtains in their bedroom on fire with their chemistry set; the time they brought a praying mantis cocoon in the house, which hatched into a million baby praying mantises; and the night they put a white sheet over a tennis racket and pushed it through my bedroom doorway with all the applicable ghostly sounds.  I was 5.  All of these events and many more got my brothers in trouble on a fairly regular basis. 

When I was around seven, we moved into a big house in the ‘suburbs’.  Jon moved out before I was 12, then it was just Sarge and me for a few years.  Sarge was enough older, that I’m sure I was a nuisance to him, but he was very tolerant most of the time.  (However, he still enjoyed tormenting me when he could.)  He liked to bake pies and he made his own pie crust from scratch – it was delicious!  We played dodgeball once with a ball of his pie-dough, which left big spots all over the walls.  Even I got in trouble for that one.  Another time we had a water fight with the hose – in the house!  Shenanigans just seemed to follow us.  We would jump from our patio which was on top of the garage into our 4-foot-deep swimming pool below or throw ‘cherry bombs’ in the water while someone was submerged.  Sarge liked meat and hated vegetables.  I like vegetables and hated meat.  So, we devised a stealthy system of transferring food from plate to plate at dinnertime so we each could eat what we liked.  Both brothers had to help bury the little animals the cat brought home that didn’t survive my attempts to nurse them back to health.  We always had a graveside service.

When Sarge got his driver’s license, in order for him to use the car, he had to take his little sister wherever she wanted to go first.  I never gave it a thought at the time, but that must have been such a pain the butt for him.  But he never complained and never made me feel like he didn’t want to drive me around.  And while he was driving me places, we often talked about very important things, like going to boy-girl parties.  That’s a good big brother! 

After Mom and Dad and I moved to Ohio, I didn’t see Sarge as much.  He was grown with his own life.  I was in high school.  He visited from time to time, and we talked on the phone, but our lives kind of moved forward independently.  I grew up, got married, went to Bible College, had children.  He worked, did his thing, had a son.  We rendezvoused at Mom and Dad’s for holidays and such.  And although we didn’t see each other very often, we still had a bond.

Time passed and Sarge ended up moving to Ohio also.  I saw him more often for a period of time.  One special memory was when Sarge and Dad helped move the kids and me to a new town.  They had to drive a little over an hour to get to where we were living, load up the truck, drive about an hour more to where we were moving, and unload everything. They had to repeat the process twice! Then they had to drive almost two hours back home.  It turned out to be about 14 hours of exhausting work and driving, but they did it for me.  I often think of how tired and sore they must have been and wonder if they ever knew how much I appreciated their efforts.  I have a very special place in my heart for what my dad and my brother did for us that day. 

These last years seemed to really limit Sarge and I seeing each other.  We would talk on the phone and maybe see each when I might be in Ohio.  He was unable to travel out of town.  We both worked until recently.  And I lived in New Jersey and now in Florida. I missed being close to my brother.   I always thought we’d have more time to catch up later, but sadly later never came.

What I want you to know about my brother is that he was a gentle soul.  He was a good big brother. He was a good friend.  He tried hard to be a good person.  He wanted to be a good dad.  He might have fallen short on some things, but who hasn’t?  He might have had his problems, but who doesn’t?  Just know that he never ever meant to hurt anyone.  He was kind and unjudgmental.  He was and will always be my brother, Gummer. 

Note to my readers:  My writing always seems to help give me closure.  I appreciate you allowing me to reminisce and heal.  Thanks for reading!

When we think of pillars, we might picture classical architecture such as the stately columns of a Greek or Roman portico.  Although some of those pillars may be impressively ornate, their primary function is to support the structure’s roof or upper level.  Perhaps we might think of a pillar like a post that holds up a section of fence.  In either case, pillars are generally an integral part of a structure’s soundness.  Pillars support something, whether vertically or horizontally and they are used for strength and stability.

We might think of a person as a pillar.  Maybe you’ve have heard the terms, “pillar of society”, or “pillar of strength” referring to a strong person with integrity.  Thinking of a person as a pillar is a compliment to their resolve, good moral character, and steadfast convictions.

I want to be a pillar.  I want to be someone who is strong and reliable.  I want to be supportive to those in need.  I want to be a stable person that people can count on.  And more than anything, I want to be pleasing to God. 

I doubt my desires are much (if any) different than yours.  In general, people want to do the right thing, especially Christians.  Of course, there are exceptions, but most folks get a lot of satisfaction from helping others and giving of themselves.  They enjoy the fruit of their labor by putting others first.  They reap the benefits of practicing the principle of giving and receiving. 

I’m not saying that only Christians do this.  There are many nice and kind people in all walks of life.  But speaking from experience, I never really knew how to be truly kind, or how to honestly give until I began to learn the truth of God’s Word.  Before that, I never had a solid foundation on which to stand.  I could only operate on feelings or everchanging worldly standards.

It is because of God’s Word that I want to be a pillar.  What God’s Word has taught me has given me something worth giving to others.  It has enabled me to remain steadfast and has encouraged me to want to help people.  God’s Word has taught me that fear and selfishness are defeating, and that we are never poorer for giving. 

God’s Word is a Word of deliverance.  It is a Word of healing, a Word of prosperity, and the Word of life!  What better thing is there to give?  What better thing is there to receive?  What better thing is there to stake your life on? 

The grandeur of the columns in classical architecture certainly made them a focal point.  But that was not their primary purpose.  They are a necessary part of the structure’s support system.  I can’t say that I’ve seen many fences with posts that I admire, but those posts are just as important for the support they provide as those stately columns.  What about the pilings of a pier, or the stanchions that form the lines at the airport?  They also perform a necessary function but are rarely even recognized.  (Except, the ones at the airport might often be cussed at!)  Yet without any of these pillars the correlating structure would fail. 

If we only want to be like the pillars of classical architecture – impressive and ornate, we’re missing the mark.  If we want everyone to notice us for our good deeds, we don’t understand the real dynamics of being a pillar.  But if we are content to be like an ordinary post that keeps the fence strong so that the cattle are secure, we have begun to understand service.  Being a pillar is being strong enough to serve whether we are recognized for it or not.  Our desire should always be to help people, regardless of any attention we receive for it.  A fence post is seldom celebrated, but its service is invaluable. 

The very coolest thing is that when we serve like the common fence post or even an airport stanchion, God still sees us as the most beautiful stately ornate marble column, even if people don’t.  In God’s eyes we are lovely pillars of faith and grace.  We are the apple of His eye and the object of His affection.  Could we ever be more special than that?  Could people’s accolades ever replace that?  The answer is NO!

Matthew 6:4 – That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly.

So, why not spend our time and effort thinking of how we can be of service to help and bless others?  Why not set aside our self-filled thoughts for a moment and concentrate on being a pillar?  Why not seek opportunities to be strong for someone in need, to support someone in distress, or to be a stable shoulder for someone to cry on.  Why not live to serve?

What others might see as a common run-of-the-mill pillar here on earth is a tall, majestic marble pillar to God!  What sometimes might seem like a thankless job now, is earning priceless rewards in heaven.  So, stand firm and stand tall and be the best pillar you can be.  You will never be poorer for giving. 

Note to my readers:  I see you all as pillars supporting my writings.  You are special to me and greatly appreciated.  Thanks for reading!!

Have you ever hurt someone’s feelings by something you said?  I would challenge anyone who answered, “no” to that question.  We all have done this at some point in time – and I’m sure we’ve done it more than once!

It’s in our human nature to make mistakes.  None of us is perfect.  And it seems sometimes that the most unperfect thing about us is our tongue.  Look at what the Bible says about it:

James 3:8 – But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.

That is a strong statement regarding our speech.  It shows us just how injurious our words can be. 

So, what should we do?

Some people might say, “I don’t care if my words upset you, that’s your problem.”  Others might refrain from talking all together for fear of offending someone.  Neither of those is the correct response.  Of course, every situation is different, but with few exceptions, which I will get into later; our response needs to be somewhere between those two extremes.       

Generally, we do care if we hurt someone’s feelings.  Most often, the words we speak that upset someone are not spoken with that intent.  They are usually spoken either carelessly or ignorantly, and as such can be regrettable.  If we do speak harsh words to intentionally hurt someone, it is commonly out of anger, which we almost always regret and wish that we could take back.    

I can still hear my mom’s admonition, “Think before you speak!”  That is good advice.  It is not a bad practice to “engage brain before opening mouth.”  Generally, this practice simply means that we don’t spout off everything that’s running around in our brain without some filtration.  This often applies to our initial opinion of a situation.  We may have misunderstood someone’s comments, or had not received all the facts when we formed our opinion.  Consequently, if we blurt out something without proper consideration, we may be totally off-base.  But if we take a moment to think before we speak; maybe ask questions to gather more information, we might save ourselves some embarrassment or grief.  Another part of thinking before speaking is considering our audience.  For example, men enjoy bantering with other men, but that same banter may ‘cross the line’ with another audience.  Think before you speak.

Our words are our primary vehicle for expressing our thoughts and revealing our inner selves.  If our words are continually negative and hurtful, they indicate that we are thinking those kinds of thoughts.   And they will portray us as a mean or uncaring person.  And the opposite is also true.  If our words are continually positive and kind-hearted, it becomes evident that we are thinking those thoughts.  And our words will portray us as a good and kind person.  What do you want people to think about you?  What do your words portray?

When we pay attention to our words, it can lessen the chances of hurting someone’s feelings.  Yet no matter how conscientious we are, it is inevitable that we will say the wrong thing at times.  When this happens, because we meant no ill, a simple apology should take care of any misunderstanding.  I find myself saying the wrong thing oftentimes when I am trying to be funny.  (Since people generally like to laugh, I enjoy any occasion that I can facilitate a chuckle.)  But when my jokes meet with puzzled or irritated stares, I know that they have backfired, and apologies are in order. 

Suppose we said something very innocently and we weren’t wrong in what we said, but someone’s feelings got hurt none-the-less.  There could be another side to that story.  The hearer might be overly sensitive. Hearers cannot jump to conclusions and immediately overreact to everything they hear.  They cannot assume that someone is purposely trying to hurt them.  They cannot be on the defensive all the time.  If they are thinking in any those ways, basically they are bringing the hurt feelings onto themselves. 

So, if we are offended by something someone said, we should take the initiative to discuss the situation with the speaker so that our hurt feelings don’t escalate into resentment or division.  More times than not, the speaker probably has no idea that our feelings have been hurt.  Furthermore, if what someone said is reproof or correction that we should heed, we must be meek enough to receive that information and not allow hurt feelings to hold us back. 

All of this is to say that our words matter, therefore, we should be attentive to them.  The best way to do that is to have our words aligned with the truth.  Now, to be clear, the only real truth is the Bible.  I’m not talking about the worldly ideas that people call truth.  Those truisms are subject to opinion and can change at any time.  But if our thoughts are filled with the unwavering truth of God’s Word, our conversation will reflect the quality of those words. 

That does not mean that the only things we can ever talk about are Bible passages.  But when our innermost thoughts are governed by the truth that is revealed in God’s Word, our conversation will be seasoned with salt as noted in Colossians 4:6.  (This refers to an Eastern custom, that when someone was salted [salt touched their tongue] it meant that they would always speak truth and never break their promise.)  Isn’t that the kind of speech we want to be known for?

As I mentioned earlier, there are some exceptions regarding our speech hurting someone’s feelings.  When we are speaking God’s Word, and it offends someone, that is not our problem.  We never apologize for speaking the Truth.  It would be our problem if we did not speak The Word for fear of offending someone.  Not everyone wants to hear God’s Word, and that’s okay, they have freedom of will.  But that should never stop us from sharing the wonderful words that we have heard.  It is our privilege and responsibility to speak God’s Word and to serve It on a silver platter.  We should never hesitate to share the GOOD NEWS of the gospel to all that we meet.  If it offends someone, shake the dust of your shoes, and move on.

No matter what you’re talking about, no matter to whom you are talking, “THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK” is a good rule of thumb.  Don’t be afraid to speak your mind, and don’t be afraid of making a mistake, but do think before you speak.  If you accidently say something that offends someone, apologize, and move on.  If you offend someone with God’s Word, say a prayer for them and move on.  Our life will be an exciting adventure when we “go, stand and speak… all the words of this life” as the angel told the apostles in Acts 5:20.  We are the lights of the world!  Hey, we could think that before we speak!  Wouldn’t that be cool?

Note to my readers:  I am sorry for my sporadic schedule lately.  Hopefully my life will settle down soon and I can get back to more regular posting.  Until then, I will make every effort to post at least twice a month, but I can’t promise what days.  I am so grateful for all my readers.  I pray for you all!  Thanks for reading!!

My brother and his wife visited us recently from Alaska.  We had a delightful time together for two whole weeks!  I had not seen them for seven years, and I think before then it was a 10-year interval between visits.  (Alaska is very far away!)  They are retired now, but they were commercial fishermen.  Their lifestyle was not only amazing but also couldn’t have been more different than mine.  I loved hearing about their adventures at sea and their lives on land in the “wild west” as my brother describes Alaska.  (While they were here, the snowfall at home topped 7 feet.  There was no snow in Florida!) 

Here is one of their most remarkable stories.  They were introduced to a National Geographic photographer when their oldest daughter was a young girl.  The photographer was fascinated with their family’s lifestyle living on a fishing boat.  He took a picture of their daughter by the light of a kerosene lantern using an early model of an electronic tablet for her studies.  The picture was published in the magazine.  That in itself is a great story, but that isn’t the end.

Time passed and the family moved into a house on land.  They still fished but no longer lived on the boat.  Their daughter was now college age and working for the forestry service during the summer.  This particular summer, some recent college grads from Australia came to Alaska and also worked for the forestry service.  Their daughter met one of those handsome young Australian men and there was an instant attraction.  She eventually brought him home to meet her mom (her dad was fishing).  And in their conversation, her mom asked the young man why he chose to come to Alaska.  She knew that he must have done a lot planning and saving in order to make such a trip.  He replied that some years earlier, he saw a little girl’s picture in a National Geographic magazine and fell in love.  So, my sister-in-law fetched their copy of the magazine and asked, “You mean this picture?”  My niece and her husband are living in Australia and have been happily married for over 20 years.  They have 3 children, the oldest of whom is currently attending Princeton University.

In one of our many conversations, I realized that I didn’t really know my brother or his wife like I thought I did.  To be clear, there was never a rift between us, just time and miles.  My brother is older than I and had moved away from home when I was in Jr. High.  So, our paths began to diverge at early age.  We still talked from time to time and kept tabs on each other’s milestone events, but for the most part our lives progressed independently.  Who knew that those paths would cross again someday in such a meaningful way?

Their busy life on the boat precluded them from visiting very often, and there never seemed to be the necessary time or money for us to visit Alaska.  The 4-hour time difference made it difficult to stay in touch like we probably should have.  And as it always does, time marched on.  So much life happened during those years.  We are not the same people that we were so long ago.  It was a pleasure to be able to fill in the blanks from all our years.  

This time with my brother and sister-in-law gave me such appreciation for their lives.  I have great respect for their experiences, which were beyond anything I could ever imagine myself doing.  Working together at a strenuous and dangerous job, living in a confined space on a boat, and raising children amid all of that, goes way beyond my capabilities! 

Their visit reminded me that families are an important part of life.  Throughout history, families have played a central role in society. They have been the primary source of love, support, protection, and nurturing for both adults and children.  They provide a safe and secure environment and a sense of belonging and identity, which are crucial for an individual’s well-being and emotional development.  Historically, the family unit has been the cornerstone of stability and deemed to be a necessary part of life in many cultures.  Although the dynamics of the family unit may have changed throughout history, the significance has never changed.  A family offers us a sense of belonging and acceptance that no other social group does. 

Biblically, we see the family as a constant theme all the way back to Adam and Eve. In Bible times, the family unit was essential to their way of life.  Much is said, especially in the Old Testament, about the family structure.  That blueprint helps us understand our relationship with God today. 

God called us to be in His family.

2 Corinthians 6:18 – And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.

God uses things we can see to illustrate things we cannot see.  God instituted the family structure not only to help us here on earth, but also to help us relate to Him as our Father and our fellow Christians as our brothers and sisters. 

But like anything in this world, the physical family can fall prey to the corruption of negative influences, just like Adam and Eve’s did.  Those influences may cause problems in our families, which could distort or diminish our understanding of being in God’s family.  That’s why we must fight for our families both our physical family and our spiritual one, remembering that praying for them might be the only thing we can do. 

People are not perfect.  They can let us down.  So, we may get separated from our physical families for various reasons.  In those cases, our spiritual family can fill the void.  We can always count on God to be our loving Father, Who cares for us no matter what!  We can take comfort in knowing that we will NEVER be separated from our spiritual family. 

I’m very thankful to have had this time with my brother and sister-in-law – to have had the opportunity to really get to know them and appreciate their lives.  A timid little girl and her daredevil big brother reconnected after living their lives so differently for so long.  What a joy!  (By the way, the timid little girl isn’t so timid anymore.  And the big brother might not be such a daredevil these days!)

Our family is crazy – always has been, but it’s a strong family.  Although we started out in the same household, my brother and I are very different.  We couldn’t have pursued more opposite lifestyles.  We don’t talk to each other every week or even every month.  (We vowed to work on that.)  We don’t agree on every topic, but that doesn’t bother us.  We love and respect each other because we are family.

Note to my readers:  I apologize for my late posting, but I think from the topic you can understand the delay.  Thanks for reading.