Month: July 2021

Recently, I had back to back visits with my sons’ families.  It was a delightful time!  Grandchildren are the best!  Especially mine. (I may be biased.)   But as always, our time was also one of reflecting on my children at similar ages and even myself at their age.  How fast time flies!  You hear it all the time- “seems like only yesterday”.  And as you get older, it really seems impossible that so much time has passed in such a short period.  Anyway…

My oldest grandson is 15 and closing in on the “magic” age of 16.  Sixteen, when all of life changes because you can get your driver’s license!  Oh how I yearned for that freedom!  Wheels would bring the world to my doorstep.  I could fly down the road with the wind in my hair and go places I had never been before.  It would be one giant step toward adulthood and being my own boss!  Well, at least that’s how I looked at it back then.  Since this was a topic of conversation while my grandson was here, I began to reminisce about my 16^th year of life. 

I turned 16 in February of my Sophomore year in high school.  I asked for driving lessons for my birthday.  One could take Driver’s Ed in school for free, but the classes were full for the year.  So my birthday present would be to get lessons, so I didn’t have to wait until the next school year to drive.  (That would have been absolute torture!) 

I can still see my driving instructor.  He was a young man.  Well, I say that now – he was younger than my parents, but at 16 he was still old.  He was short, but again compared to my 6’3” dad, he was probably average height.  He was extremely patient and well suited for the job because he didn’t panic once while I was driving.  In contrast to my mom who panicked all the time when she rode with me while I had my learner’s permit.   I give her a lot of credit though, because I panicked so much with my kids that my husband had to teach them to drive. 

My initial driving practice began in my mom’s car, which was a Ford LTD and as big as my living room.  Thinking back, no wonder my mom panicked all the time; a 16 year-old novice driver maneuvering a land yacht through narrow town streets!  I never hit anything, but I often wonder from her perspective how close I came.  She never yelled, she would just grab the door handle and gasp.  I was oblivious to any danger.

One particular lesson I remember from my driving instructor was that pulling up to a T–intersection is an understood stop, even without a sign.  I learned the lesson, but I also taught the instructor something.  He would teach this lesson on a side street that ended in a T at the road that went into the cemetery.  There was no stop sign, probably because there was no traffic on that street unless there was a funeral.  He had instructed me to drive down the street and turn at the T.  However, he didn’t mention right or left.  So when I reached the T, I stopped awaiting further instructions.  He marveled that I knew to stop and asked me how I knew to do that.  I had to confess that I only stopped because I didn’t know which way he wanted me to turn.  I had foiled his plan.  I bet every kid after me was told what direction to turn at that T so he could show them how they made a mistake by not stopping!

Then came THE day – the day of going to the State Highway Patrol Station to take the driving test and actually get my license!  I wasn’t terribly nervous because I still had that 16 year-old ‘confidence’ that I could do anything.  Well, long story short, I failed the first test.  I got a perfect score on parallel parking, but I failed the driving because I started to pull out onto the highway in front of an oncoming car.  I was able stop in time, there was no accident, but the officer said very kindly, “you know I have to fail you, right?”  Yeah, I knew.  It was a devasting blow.  But two weeks later, I passed with flying colors.  Those two weeks of agony and feeling sorry for myself, had finally ended.  I got my license, and my life was back on track.

The next step in my driving career was learning to drive a standard shift because my dad was going to give me his old Volkswagen Beetle.  One Saturday, he took me up a big hill and let me drive down to learn to use the gears to help me slow down.  Then he let me drive up a big hill to learn to use the gears to give me more power.  Needless to say, coming down the hill wasn’t too bad, driving up the hill was a disaster!  But we eventually made it home and he told me that I could take the car to go into town to see my best friend.  Sixteen long years I had waited for that moment!  Total freedom at last!  I drove to my friend’s house smiling from ear to ear, envisioning all the places that we would go.  We could go anywhere we wanted without having to beg for a ride!  Life was definitely good!  Until… the unthinkable happened.

My best friend and I were cruising around town through the neighborhoods, and we came upon a house where several Junior class boys were hanging out.  It was on a corner of two streets, and the one we were on had the stop sign, and an ever-so-slight hill.  After making sure that all the boys noticed us, I shifted into gear and hit the gas to proceed, only to stall the car.  I heard some snickering.  Ok, it happens – try again.  Stalled again. More snickering and a little laughter.  SIX times I tried amid all the laughter and jeering before I was able to drive away.  I was sure at that moment; my life was over.  I didn’t want to go back to school on Monday.  I figured the incident would make headlines in the school newspaper.  I thought that news of my embarrassing failure would on the lips of every upperclassman.  Probably even the underclassmen would know about it by Monday.  How could I ever show my face at school again?  My life was over.

Much to my surprise on Monday, no one at school seemed to have heard anything about the incident.  NO ONE, even the boys that were there, mentioned one word about it.  Although I was stunned, I was grateful.  I concluded that the boys felt sorry for me and were being kind.  Actually, it was probably more true that they didn’t really care about it one way or the other.  The great car-stalling episode did not end up in the annals of high school history as my 16 year-old mind assumed it would. 

Eventually my little VW Bug, whose name was Bud, gained fame around school because, after I learned the art of shifting on hills, I was unstoppable on my journeys.  That poor little car was ridden to the point of exhaustion!  I would give anyone a ride who needed it and go anywhere that all the kids were going.  My little Bug did leave his mark on high school memories; not for stalling but for being everyone’s friend. 

I hope my reminiscing has given you a chuckle or two.  But I share it especially for parents of teenagers.  It’s important to remember that life as a teenager can be hard.  The transition from childhood to adulthood can be a rough road. 

So much about living life is perspective.  We know as adults, that most of the situations teenagers face are not the ‘end of the world’.  But we should remember that to them they are, and we should be there for comfort and help when needed – while not getting upset if we’re ignored.  Of course we must reel them back in if they are out of control and be firm on the rules.  But for the most part, parents of teenagers just need to be patient and thick-skinned.  I can’t even count the number of times that I told my mom she just didn’t understand.  And I remember at that time, I truly didn’t think she did.  Afterall, things were very different for her when she was a teenager.  How could she possibly understand my life??  But as it turns out, it wasn’t different at all.  Nor was my life different than my children’s.  It was the same teenage stuff, different day.

We Christian parents have a huge advantage because we can gain wisdom, understanding and guidance from God’s Word.  God’s advice is always the best advice!  Also, we can imitate God and deal with our children, even teenagers, the way that God deals with us.   God treats us with kindness and patience, but, when necessary, He does put His foot down – which is always done out of love.  We must do our best to love our teenagers like God loves us.  And then maybe one day, when they’re grown, we can laugh about how many times the world did NOT end when we were teenagers. 

Note to my readers:  A famous comedian once said, “Grandchildren are the reward for allowing your children to live.”  So if your teenager is making you crazy, just remind yourself, ‘someday – grandchildren’.  Thanks for reading!

Please note that I will be on vacation next week, so there will be no new post next Friday. Love to all of you!

Think about all the life that surrounds us.  Plants have life.  Insects have life.  Animals have life. Even microbes have life.  But I’d like to talk about the life we have as humans. 

Our lives have three parts.  Obviously, there is the physical part.  This is the part that we (and everyone else) can see.  Our physical bodies come in all shapes, sizes, and colors.  We have different kinds of hair, different eyes, different smiles, different ways of speaking.  Some of us are tall, some are small.  We can be slender or round.  Because it is the part we can see, we often focus on this part. 

Physical bodies can be a source of pride, like with athletes or dancers.  They take great pride in their body’s accomplishments, which they have worked hard to achieve.  Even if we are not celebrated athletes, we also can be proud of our physical bodies when we exert the effort to care for them. 

Physical bodies can also be a source of dissatisfaction.  This often comes from comparing our physical appearance to someone else’s, or by listening to someone else’s unfavorable opinion of our appearance. We see this frequently in young women, but it certainly is not limited to that segment of the population.  Many people are dissatisfied with at least one of their physical attributes. 

However, our physical bodies are only one part of who we are, and even though it is what we see, it really isn’t where our focus should remain.  The second part of us is our soul, which comes from the breath of life that God breathed into man at the beginning, (Genesis 2:7).  A person’s soul is the part that makes them – them.  Our soul is designed to govern our body.  Our souls are even more distinctive than our bodies because they are not limited by physical constraints.  They include our minds and our hearts.  Emotions emanate from our minds.  (Advertisers know this and capitalize on it.)  The discipline to control our bodies comes from the convictions we have in our hearts and the decisions we make in our minds.  Our outlook on life comes from the beliefs that we hold deep in our hearts, where our innermost thoughts and feelings reside. 

The most wonderful thing about our souls is their uniqueness.  And the most fascinating thing about our souls is that they can change.  We readily accept that changes take place between childhood and adulthood in both body and soul.  Neither our bodies nor our souls are the same as they were when we were children.  But sometimes when people reach adulthood physically, they think their soul has reached its final growing state as well.  Fortunately, that is not true.  Our souls can be always growing and changing until we take our last breath.  When we learn something new, we adjust our thinking.  When we experience elation or heart-breaking situations, our souls adapt.  I will qualify this by saying that our very deepest convictions may not change unless something greater than us comes along, which brings me to the third part of our lives…

When we got born again, we gained a third element of life, which is holy spirit.  It is the gift that God gave us at that wonderful moment.  It’s now part of who we are and should be our number 1 focus.  It is an open line of communication with God, and it is a source of power in our lives.  When our lives are working the way God designed, our spirits govern our souls, and our souls govern our bodies.  Our innermost thoughts and feelings will be based on God’s truth.  Our outlook on life will be determined by the guidance we receive from God’s words.  And those God-based convictions will permeate our souls and further affect our physical bodies.

Think of how great life can be when we have all three parts working together in proper alignment.  The spirit guiding our steps, our souls following with conviction and our bodies under control.  This arrangement allows for the most freedom and greatest success.  Because this lifestyle is one of Godly design, we have His assurance of support and guidance.  We can tap into His resources and operate the power that holy spirit provides us.  We can live a life that is more than abundant.  We can have joy and peace that is not dependent on our surroundings.  We can have the wisdom and understanding that God’s Word provides.  We can shine as lights in this crooked and perverse nation, (Philippians 2:15).  We can have a truly wonderful life!

There is so much more to life than what we see with our eyes.  We cannot see the life that makes plants grow, but just about everyone appreciates the beauty of a flower.  We can’t see an animal’s breath-life, but we like having pets and watching wildlife.  We cannot see each other’s souls, but we fall in love when our souls connect.  The greatest things in life are not seen, and what we do see wouldn’t exist without them.

When we recognize these invisible things in life, we must not forget about our gift of holy spirit.  That gift is just as real as our breath, and just as vital.  Oh, a person can live a long and healthy life without holy spirit, but his life on this earth is all that he’ll have.  It is only with that spiritual connection to God that our victory is guaranteed.  We have an abundant life now and eternal life to look forward to. 

So, delight in the life you can’t see, and be thankful.  Focus on the invisible parts of life and don’t allow all that your eyes see to distract you from what is really important.  Let God’s Word direct your steps, live according to God’s design, and reap all the benefits that life has to offer. 

Note to my readers:  When you are beautiful on the inside, you will be beautiful on the outside too.  Thanks for reading! 

I have been thinking about the term “status quo”.  I use the term regularly.  The dictionary defines status quo as “the existing state of affairs”.  It further calls it “normalcy”.  I began to wonder, what does that really mean?  Afterall, normalcy for me is likely quite different than normalcy for you.  And doesn’t “the existing state of affairs” always fluctuate in our lives?  So, status quo must be subjective.   It is.  It’s not the same for everyone.  The condition of status quo varies from person to person; however its connotation indicates that something is commonplace in one’s life.

Overall to me, status quo conveys even keel, or routine.  But what if my status quo was based on something else?   What if status quo for me was deliriously happy?  Why couldn’t that be normalcy for my life?  Or maybe the times when peace floods my soul should be my status quo?  Whatever we call status quo in our lives is our most common condition.  So let’s make that common condition something we really want to have. 

Let’s think through this…  Okay, we’ll use happy for our example.  (we’ll save deliriously happy for special occasions.)  If we decide that we want happy to be the status quo in our lives, we are saying that we want happy to be our most common condition.  In order to accomplish this, we must first define happy for ourselves.  Maybe it’s being able to smile and laugh, or maybe it’s feeling lighthearted and not feeling worried.  It would be different for everyone.  Then we have to determine what makes us happy.  Maybe it’s being with family or friends.  Maybe it’s reading our Bible.  Maybe it’s walking in nature.  Maybe it’s helping people.  There could be a million things that make us happy.  (I will interject here that the greatest source of happiness that I know is God’s Word.)  (Just sayin’)

So, once we’ve defined happy and determined what makes us happy, we can begin to pursue it.  For example, being with my family makes me happy, but they live far away.  So I could be unhappy because I can’t see them, or I could call them, which would make me happy.  Maybe they’re too busy to talk for a long time, I could feel bad about the brevity of the call, or I could be happy just hearing their voice.  Maybe I could take a moment and pray for them and that would make me feel close to them – and happy! 

You see, we can’t always control circumstances, but we can decide how we’ll respond to them.  So if we are determined to be happy, we may need to change the way we look at some things and how we react.  Like, I see people who seem to have the attitude, “that the grass is always greener on the other side”.  They are usually unhappy.  But if they could learn to see that their grass is the greenest, then they would be much happier.  We must direct our thinking toward our goals, and not allow worldly conditions to discourage us from reaching them. 

Of course we won’t ALWAYS be happy.  We could encounter situations that make us very unhappy.  It is rather unavoidable because we are in this world.  But that should be the exception – not our status quo.   

I guess what I’m trying to say here, is that we have the ability, the right, and the freedom of directing our own lives.  We determine what goes in and stays in our own minds.  So, if we want our status quo to be happy, we can achieve that by the way we think.  Is the glass half empty or half full?  Can a silver lining be found?  Can lemonade be made from the lemons?  The answer is  — with God, nothing shall be impossible.  Our status quo of being happy is available because of God’s ability to provide for us.  We can stake our lives on His promises.  We can make our ways His ways and make our thoughts, the thoughts of His Word.  When we do those things, our “existing state of affairs” will be based on God’s standard.  And the most remarkable thing about that is –  although God’s standard is an unchangeable truth, its application is totally individualized for each one of us.  God is a very personal God.  Because of the limitlessness of His love, God is able to treat each one of us like we are His only kid – (and He can even do that for all of us at the same time!)  It’s way bigger than our minds can comprehend, but it’s true.  We can live our lives with whatever we want our status quo to be by trusting God and allowing Him to work in our lives.  You want happy to be commonplace?  God can handle that.  You want peace?  God can supply that. 

So, after working this all the way through, I think that I would like to make thankfulness my status quo.  Being thankful opens the doors for both happiness and peace in our lives – and much, much more!  If we are thankful, we will recognize the things that are all around us to bless us.  We won’t miss the important things that go unnoticed by a thankless society.  We will see the beauty that is available because of God’s handiwork.  And we will appreciate the little things.  What a worthy endeavor it would be to make the status quo, the most common condition of our lives, one of continual thankfulness to God! 

Let’s try it and see what happens. 

Note to my readers:  I pray that the existing state of affairs in your life is one that blesses you and enables you to live abundantly.  Thanks for reading! 

I thought it might be time for another poem.  This one is a lighthearted look at how our minds work sometimes.  I hope you enjoy it. 

  I’ve lived with someone since who knows when
 We get along, but every now and then…
 She* makes me crazy by the way she thinks
 She’s fearful, selfish and her attitude stinks
 Her negativity brings me down
 Her criticism makes me frown
 Her fear impedes my day’s success
 I’m burdened by her laziness 
 I try to help her change her mind
 I speak God’s Word, but she declines
 My frustration, I cannot hide
 Why is she never on my side? 
 But then to her, a light breaks through 
 And she accepts God’s Word as true 
 The negative thoughts, she does replace
 With God’s words of love and grace
 When this happens, I do delight
 For it means that we no longer fight
 And the battle in my mind is won
 For my old self is overcome 
  
 *Pronouns may be changed as needed… 

Once we are born again we have the opportunity to think in a whole new way.  A way that supersedes the worldly negatives that try to defeat us.  A way that transforms our mind into a new creation.  The Bible calls it renewing our minds.  It’s a process of kicking out the old worldly thoughts and replacing them with new thoughts from God’s Word. 

Even though we are born again, we still live in this world, so there is an ongoing battle in our minds.  The Bible describes our minds in the terms; “old man” (our old worldly thoughts and actions) and “new man” (our new Godly thoughts and actions).  These two thought patterns are polar opposites and at war with each other in our minds.  It takes our deliberate decision to choose which pattern we are going to follow. 

This is a lifelong process.  It doesn’t have to be difficult, but it does take consistent awareness on our part. The world demands our attention and floods our senses with information daily.  Therefore, worldly thoughts can creep into our minds despite our best efforts.  But if we remain vigilant to first recognize wrong thoughts, then to refute and replace them; we will have victory in our minds.  The benefit of not permitting negative thoughts to dwell in our minds is fairly obvious.  Negative thoughts like fear are completely debilitating.   And thoughts like having a poor self-image tear us down.  Those kinds of thoughts stop us from being the people we really want to be.   

Psychologists know that correcting bad behavior requires replacing it with good behavior.  As parents, we have witnessed this many times.  Telling a child to stop doing something without offering a corrective action, doesn’t always deter them.   The same is true for our minds.  We must purposefully direct our thoughts toward the positives of God’s Word in order to oust the negatives.  But our minds, just like an unruly child, might try to defy us.  These are the times we must ‘extra-actively’ pursue the true words of God.  And we must steadfastly hold on to those words in our thoughts and allow their light to dispel the darkness. 

The world is full of self-help books designed to aid people in ridding themselves of detrimental thinking.  These books utilize some of the principles of renewing the mind, so they can have a modicum of success.  But they lack the real strength of God’s words to keep the negatives at bay.  The Bible is the only sure-fire way to overcome the negatives of the world. 

All the positives of God’s Word have been freely given to us to enjoy.  All God’s promises are true and certain.  God loves us completely and eternally.  We are His children.  Why not think those kinds of thoughts instead of the bitter and unsettling ones that the world throws at us?  Why not see yourself as someone that God truly loves instead of the degrading picture that the world paints?  Knowing God’s Word arms us with so much more than merely “the power of positive thinking”.  God’s Word gives us the ability to discern truth from error and gives us the stamina to persist and win the battle in our minds. 

I heard liberty defined once as, “one’s right to choose for himself”.   We have the liberty to think what we want to think.  Why not think God’s Word? 

Note to my readers:  Remember – no matter what negative thoughts come your way, the light of God’s Word dispels any (and all) darkness!  Thanks for reading!