Tenderness

Having lived my whole life (until recently) up north, I am well acquainted with cabin fever.  For those of you who grew up in the south, cabin fever is the state of mind caused by perpetually being cooped up during the cold and icy weather of winter.  It is a yearning for springtime. 

Remembering cabin fever made me think of why we yearn for spring.  Obviously, we want the return of warmer weather so we can go outside without being cold down to our bones.  And we want to not worry about icy streets and sidewalks.  But more than that, we delight in the rebirth that spring offers.  Barren fields, leafless trees and empty gardens suddenly abound with new life.  The dominant grey shades of winter become a lively green.  Flowers blossom before our eyes with their colorful beauty; and their fragrance fills the air that has finally thawed from winter’s freeze.  The creatures that winter silenced awaken to fill our ears with song and voice.  And the days get longer to satisfy our hearts with glorious sunshine.  All of this new life arouses our nurturing souls.

The Bible often refers to youth and new growth as tender.  And really, isn’t that how we view the burgeoning spring?  Those tender leaves that push their way through the soil to become lovely tulips and the tender buds that appear on the trees elicit our care, concern, and appreciation.  And after the solitude of winter, we are anxious to provide those things.  Think about baby birds in their nest or a litter of puppies, pretty much anything (maybe not snakes or bugs) in a newly born state evokes our tender compassions.  So, I guess we could conclude that tender things not only require tender care, but also encourage it. 

Of course, this also applies to people.  Although, the arrival of our babies is not limited to springtime, newborns require very tender care.  And it is not a difficult decision for us to provide that.  But somewhere along the line, youth matures.  What then?  Is our tenderness no longer needed?  Do we stop tending our gardens when they are fully grown?  No.  Being tender toward adults may not seem necessary because we don’t perceive them as being tender like youth, but often the adults that don’t appear to need our tenderness, require it the most.  

Think of all the people who are trapped in the endless cold-hearted winter of the world.  The tenderness you show might be the only kindness they see.  How about the people who are hopelessly lost?  Your tenderness could give them direction.  What if a friend or family member is irritable because they are having a bad day?  Responding to them with tenderness could change everything (and maybe prevent a fight).

Being tender means that we are considerate, gentle, kind, and compassionate.  It also carries the connotation of being adoring, affectionate and devoted.  It is the particular relationship that determines the level of these.  Obviously, we are more devoted to our families than to strangers, however we can be kind to anyone.  We are affectionate to those in our inner circles, but we can have compassion on a broad scale. 

The Bible, in the book of Ephesians, instructs us to be tenderhearted.  We are to have compassion one toward another and be kind.  This is necessary to combat the hardheartedness of the world.  Too often the world spits out criticism instead of compassion.  Failures are mocked, while successes go unnoticed.  The modus operandi of society generally is to tear people down rather than build them up.  We can step in with compassion for those people who are hurting.  We can show them kindness, gentleness, and tenderness.  Think of what that would do for their hearts! 

Also tied up in being tenderhearted is forgiveness.  I think that this is a critical element in our families (both physical and spiritual) and with our friends.  People are not perfect, so it’s bound to happen that someone hurts us in some manner at some point.  Harboring resentment instead of forgiveness will not only cause the hurt to fester, but also cause separation between us. Both are painful.  But forgiveness covers and mends.  Isn’t that a better way to live?  The standard for forgiveness according to Ephesians is “as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”  Remembering all the things that God forgave us for, will help us to forgive others.  And recognizing our own imperfection will help us to not demand that from others. 

I think we all would agree that the quality of being tenderhearted is a good thing.  The world might say we’re weak, but we know that the strongest man that ever lived, Jesus Christ, was tenderhearted.  The world might say that it’s an outdated concept.  But we know that the things of God are eternal.  The world might say that we’re crazy.  But seriously, has that ever stopped us?  Moving ahead with compassion, being ready to help, serve and bless everyone will open the doors for God’s blessings on us.  Giving equals receiving.  Try it and see for yourself what the benefits are of being tenderhearted. 

And even though springtime only comes once a year, we can have our own spring-like rejuvenation every day.  When we look at our surroundings with nurturing eyes, we will be awakened to provide tender care, kindness, and compassion.  We will see spring-like flourishing, and the cessation of cold-hearted winter for others and for ourselves. 

Note to my readers:  You touch my heart!