Plans and Outcomes

“The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry”.  This is an adage my mom used regularly.  It is from a poem by the famous Scottish author, Robert Burns.  I later shortened it to simply, “The best laid plans…”, which I still say today.  In the poem and in general usage, the statement means that your plans don’t always work out the way you want them to.

A change of plans is a common occurrence in our lives.  Sometimes it’s minor, dinner at 8 instead of 7.  Sometimes it’s disappointing, we don’t get that job we wanted.  And sometimes it’s catastrophic and changes everything.  I’ve learned over the years that change isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  That disappointments can lead to better things.  And at the times when life deals us a low blow, we can still steer ourselves toward a positive outcome, even though it’s not exactly what we had planned.  There is no doubt that life can throw us some serious curve balls or knock-out punches.  But even if we are down for the count, we can get up to fight another day. 

When you were a kid, did people ask you what you wanted to be when you grew up?  Think back to your youthful aspirations.  What did you want to be?  I wanted to be a ballerina.  I wanted to wear a tutu and glide across the stage like a butterfly.  However, I did not become a ballerina.  Mostly because I really didn’t have the aptitude to be a dancer, but also because my mom wanted me to learn to play the organ.  I did not want to play the organ, so consequently I’m not a musician either.  All of this to say that both of these best laid plans went awry.  Did that ruin my life?  No.  Do I have regrets?  No. I might have thought, “what if…” from time to time, but I don’t regret not doing those things because I know that I really didn’t have the talent to be a ballerina.  And since I didn’t want to be an organist, I didn’t put forth the effort to become one.  We cannot regret not having something that we were not willing to work hard enough to obtain.  Childhood plans often do not come to pass, and usually we accept that, or even expect it.  If you are living your childhood aspiration, more power to you!  But for the rest of us, most likely, we have moved on.

Later in high school, I wanted to be a research scientist. This was something for which I was well-suited and something that I was more than willing to work for.  I was all set to go to college to pursue that plan, but circumstances hindered me.  These were not bad circumstances, but they changed my trajectory.   Here again the best laid plans didn’t happen, but the results were good, just not what I had intended.  At these times, we usually find ourselves immersed in the new path that our life is taking, and the old plans tend to fade away.  Regrets?  No.  “What if…”?  Maybe some.

Fast forward a decade or so and my life’s course was set.  I was in the place that I assumed I would always be, and I was content.  Then an unforeseen event changed everything.  This was a painful and devasting event that destroyed my plans.  These situations require us to regroup and make new plans. We cannot afford to wallow in the loss of the old ones.  We must be determined to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and move forward the best that we can.  It’s not an easy thing to do, and often we have to start with baby steps, but as our resolve keeps us moving, we may find that our latter end can be better than our beginning.

Fast forward a few more decades and here I am.  My life has been full of plans that didn’t work out the way I wanted them to, for one reason or another.  There have been devastating experiences and big disappointments.   But what I have learned from the sad or difficult times has made me a better person and has taught me to appreciate all the good times that my life has offered.  I am thankful for all the twists and turns and changes of plans that my life has taken to bring me to where I am today because I am blessed. 

I think of it like this…

Our lives are a compilation of all the good and all the bad that we’ve experienced.  We use what we have learned to weave all those experiences into a colorful tapestry that is uniquely ours (it’s an ongoing process).  All the successes and all the failures, all the joy and all the heartache, all the laughter and all the tears, all the plans that worked and all that didn’t are intricately woven together and contribute to the design of our tapestry.  Things like regrets, bitterness and resentments tear holes in our tapestry and cause it to fray.  We need to avoid those things to preserve the fabric’s strength.   And things like faith, hope and love enhance the quality of our tapestry.  They can also repair any damage done.  So why not enjoy making your tapestry?  It’s the only one you’re going to have in this lifetime.  Why not weave all your experiences into a beautiful work of art that you can be proud of?  With the help of the master-weaver, God, our tapestry can be a glorious reflection of His goodness and kindness. 

That’s a worthy goal, right?

Another reason that my life is so blessed is because of the people that have been and now are in it.  When I consider all the directions that my life has taken, whether planned or unplanned, I am thankful for the paths that I’ve crossed of wonderful people who have helped me, taught me, enriched me, and loved me.  People who showed great strength in the face of cruel adversity helped me learn to be brave.  People who went the extra-mile to help someone in need encouraged me to be caring.  People who found positives in a negative world taught me to be optimistic.  And the list goes on.  Even the people who were hurtful benefited me because they convinced me to be kind.  I sometimes feel like I’m the most blessed person in the world today because I’m surrounded by a wonderful family and terrific friends.  Their love and support have taught me so many things.  My life would be empty without them.

So throughout our lives, plans may go awry, but that doesn’t mean we should stop making plans.  Life would be pretty chaotic without any plans!  So let’s make our plans, start moving toward our goals and if life gives you lemons, make lemonade.  Learn to roll with the punches, and if you get knocked down, get back up and keep on trucking.  And enjoy making the beautiful tapestry that is your life.

And one last thing, the best outcomes happen with God’s help, and His plans NEVER go awry. 

Note to my readers:  You’re the best!  Thank you for being a part of my life.