Category: General Writing

“What to do?  What to do?”  Does that sound familiar?  I find myself saying it a lot.  It works for many situations.  For instance, when I’m shopping and I find a beautiful dress, but it’s not in my budget, “What to do?  What to do?”  Or I’m busy working around the house and I finish my chore list, “What to do?  What to do?”  Or my husband asks, “Do you want to go out to dinner or get a pizza and watch a movie at home?”  “What to do?  What to do?”

We repeat this question to ourselves when we’re in a quandary about what choice to make in any given situation.  Generally, we ponder these decisions because it’s not a choice between right or wrong, but rather between good and best. 

Like in the first example above, if I find a beautiful dress that is not in the budget, my brain starts crunching numbers.  Maybe I can find money somewhere in the budget.  Maybe I can forgo something else and use that money.  Maybe I should just buy it and figure it out later.  It’s a choice between good and best.  I do not think, maybe I can steal this dress.  That would be a choice between right and wrong. 

Deciding between right and wrong is usually a simple choice for us because we adhere to a standard that defines and separates the two.  But deciding between good and best may not be so clear-cut.  Is buying a dress going to bankrupt us?  No.  Do I need another dress?  Chances are that I really don’t.  Would I wear it?  Pretty sure.  Should I spend the money?  Maybe not, but maybe it’s worth it.  Good or best?

Furthermore, it seems that a lot of choices between good and best involve spending.  And spending deals mostly with money or time.  How do we spend our money?  How do we spend our time?  What are we going to spend our money on?  What are we going to spend our time doing?  We should aim to spend wisely in both categories. 

Day by day, we are faced with those choices.  Our spending decisions are not usually life-altering, but they could have consequences.  In this regard, there is one interesting difference between money and time.  Monetary consequences are more likely to stem from spending too much.  While time consequences often result from not spending enough.

Some people think that money is their most precious commodity.  But really in this life, time is our most precious commodity.  If we lose money, it can be replaced, but if we lose time, it cannot.  Every minute that has passed is gone forever.  We cannot retrieve it or replace it.  That’s not to say that we can’t rectify something that happened in the past, but we can only do so in the here and now.  For these reasons, time is very precious. 

Most of us are mindful to not spend money haphazardly because we don’t want to waste it.  But what about our time?   Are we careful to not waste our time?  We all probably appreciate the value of our money.  Do we recognize the value of our time?  It behooves us to make the best choices in both categories.  And it’s a personal quest.  What’s best for me might not be best for you.  What works for me may not work for you.  And vice versa. 

In addition, another aspect of spending is investment.  We are familiar with this concept when it comes to money.  We are always looking for the highest yield investments, right?  What about our time?  Are we investing our time wisely?  Are we receiving a great return on our time investment?  Are we getting the most ‘bang for our buck’ for our time?

The highest return on our time comes from investing it in God’s bank.  What better advisor could we have to take care of all our needs?   The time that we invest with God is backed by His ability to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think (Ephesians 3:20), and many other incredible promises.  God’s bank has unlimited resources and the most generous terms in the universe.  All investors are welcomed and receive the same guaranteed return on their investment – eternal life!  Think about it… we invest our time in God’s bank now and receive unending unlimited time in return.  Sounds like a high yield investment to me!!

So, the next time you are wondering, “what to do?”, “what to do?” simply ask God.  Allow Him to direct your steps.  Allow Him to bless your efforts.  Allow Him to fulfill His promises to you. Allow Him to shower you with His infinite love, mercy and grace.  Invest your whole life in God’s care and see what He will do for you!

Note to my readers:  My apologies for my late post.  I hope it blessed you anyway.  Thanks for reading!

I have three children.  (I probably have mentioned that in previous posts.  I talk about them a lot! 😊)  I love my children with my whole heart.  I think they are greatest kids ever.  I think they are the smartest, most talented and most interesting kids on earth.  I think they are the best at all that they do.  And I think they are spectacular in every way. 

Now you may say, “Come on now, your kids can’t be all that.”  But I would disagree.  You may say, “No one is perfect.” And I would say, “But my kids come close!”  You may contend that I am delusional and not seeing reality.  And I would challenge you to explain what the reality is that you want me to see.

Do you think that I should only see my children’s shortcomings?  They have them.  Should I only look at their mistakes?  They’ve made plenty of those.  Should I remember our arguments or hurtful words spoken?  Should I focus on the times they broke my heart?  Is that the reality I’m supposed to see when I look at my kids?  I say, “NO thank you!”

The reality is that a mother’s love for her kids is a strong cord that binds them to her heart.  That love covers shortcomings and supports strengths.  That love sees more but is willing to see less.  That love rejoices in victories and weeps in adversities.  That love forgives and forgets.  A mother’s love will always fight for her children.  (By the way, the same can be said for a father’s love, but since I’m a mother, I can only speak from that perspective.)

I say all this, not because my children are so much better than any other children, but because they are MY children.  I see them through a mother’s eyes of love.  I see the best in them, and I look past their faults.  I root for them in every endeavor and I am always on their side.  I recognize that they are not perfect, that they make mistakes and sometimes make bad choices, but those things don’t linger in my mind.  I am always anticipating success for them in everything that they do.  And I am thrilled for every victory they achieve.  To be clear, I don’t turn a blind eye to any offenses, nor do I pretend that they have no misconducts.  It is understood that reproof and correction are as necessary a part of love as forgiving and forgetting. 

I do not claim to be any kind of special mom.  I am well aware of my shortcomings and if I think too much about my performance as a mother, I feel completely inadequate.  But I love my kids.  And I try to do the best I can for them.  And even though they are now grown adults with families of their own, I want to be there for them, whenever I can. 

And all of this got me thinking…

We became God’s children when we got born again.  That makes God our Father.  The Bible is explicit about this being our relationship with Him.  Time and time again, God tells us that He loves us.  And if I, being a finite human mom with all my frailties, can love my children as much as I do; how much BIGGER is our Heavenly Father’s love for us??  Our Father, God who is perfect, eternal and omnipotent loves us with an everlasting unfathomable love.  As strong as my love is for my kids (and grandkids), it a grain of sand on the whole coast of Florida compared to God’s love for us. 

It is interesting to note, that it is because of God’s great love for me that I can love my family the way that I do.  It is because He loved me so much, that I can walk in love.  It is how God treats me that teaches me how to treat others.  It is the way He looks at me that shows me the way I should look at others.  And it is the way He cares for me that enables me to care for others.  Recognizing God’s great love for us is key to helping us love others.

The Bible instructs us to be followers of God as dear children.  (Ephesians 5:1)  The Greek word for ‘followers’ means ‘imitators’.  We are to imitate God.  And one of the most important things that we can imitate is His love.  The instruction to be an imitator of God is not given to only mothers and fathers.  All of God’s children are to be imitators of their Heavenly Father.  And all of us can imitate His love by loving our physical family as well as our spiritual family.

Now to bring this full circle…

When I look at my children (and grandchildren) and my heart swells with love for them, I am reminded that God must look at me in the same way – only much bigger!  When I look past my children’s shortcomings, I remember that God looks past mine.  When I see my children hurting and my heart aches to help them, I think how much God’s heart aches to help me.  In other words, the love that I feel helps me recognize and appreciate God’s love for me.  It helps me to understand and accept how much and why God loves me. 

The greatest act of love that we can do for anyone is to give them God’s Word.  Think about it…  God’s Word gives people the information they need in order to get born again.  And getting born again gives them ETERNAL LIFE.  What could be more loving than offering someone eternal life? God’s Word also gives us instructions for living a more abundant life and helps us develop a true vital relationship with Him NOW. With God’s love we have everything to gain and nothing to lose!

So, the next time you look at your loved ones and feel all that love you have for them, remind yourself that as strong as that love feels, it is no match for the unlimited love that God has for you (and them).  God’s love is a living reality.  And when you think about how GREAT God’s love is, remember that you can be an imitator that love.  And the circle will be complete. 

Note to my readers:  We can’t go wrong when we are imitating God!  Thanks for reading!!  ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Life can be hectic.  Merriam Webster defines hectic as, “characterized by activity, excitement or confusion.”  The dictionary further lists agitated, frenzied, overactive and overwrought as some of its synonyms.

It seems like those synonyms describe my life at times.  I say things like, “I have too much on my plate right now”, or “I don’t have enough time to get everything done.”  Sound familiar?  It can be frustrating because most of us like peace and quiet!  But it certainly seems that there are times when life can move too fast for us to be able to stop.  If you are like me, you might feel like you are just too busy to even slow down.

When I get overwhelmed, I may yearn for the “good old days”.  But what are the good old days, really?  We might find that the “good” in those old days is simply a matter of perspective.  Are we yearning to be a kid again?  Of course, life was simpler when we were children; we didn’t have as much responsibility.  But who wants to go through growing up all over again?  Are we yearning to go back in time?  We might find those by-gone days were hectic in their own way, contrary to our romantic notions. 

My parent’s and grandparent’s lives were very different than mine.  They were affected by not only the great depression, but also WWI and WWII.  My grandfather lost his home in the depression when my mom was a little girl.  My great uncle was killed in the war.  I’m sure that those situations weren’t easy.  Those times must have been extremely hectic, and very difficult. 

How many times have we heard our parents say that things were very different (implying better) when they were young?   How many times have we said (and meant) the same thing?  Our parent’s lives may have been simpler, but they weren’t necessarily easier.  They did much more manual labor because they had fewer modern conveniences.  They worked hard for what they had, and they took great care of their belongings because replacing them could be problematic – they had no credit cards!  Even in their simplicity, those years could be hectic.  But just like any other time period, there were good times too.  My mom often told stories of taking her nickel and going to the movies on Saturday.  There were lots of family outings, and a love for the out-of-doors and life’s simple pleasures.

My generation saw many changes to my parent’s lifestyle.  We were inundated with modern conveniences, we didn’t always need to work hard for our money, things became disposable, and debt became acceptable.  With those changes, one could imagine that life would be less hectic, but it is not.  Yet our lifestyle is also conducive for entertainment and recreation. 

I see the upcoming generation as working even less, spending even more, and caring little for traditional values.  I see that generation being even more hectic because they are losing an appreciation for the simple things of life and demanding constant stimuli.  I wonder what simple pleasures they will enjoy.  Will it all be electronic??

Our minds are designed to blot out bad memories and hold on to good ones.  Perhaps, that’s why each generation remembers their time as better than that of the current generation.  I know that my parents and grandparents worried much about my generation – the advent of rock music was very distressing to them.  They were concerned that the changes our generation was experiencing would be our undoing.  But we thought their concerns were totally unfounded!  We loved our music and the modernization of our culture.  We fancied ourselves as pioneers and forerunners.  We thought we could fix all the wrongs of the world. 

But I bet every generation throughout history thought the same thing.  Considering that, for my grandparent’s generation, the Civil War was recent history, they must have felt an urgent need to make the world a better place.  My parent’s generation saw the beginning of radio, movies, phones and TVs. I’m sure they felt that they were changing the world in every way. 

My generation has seen radio broadcasts become online streaming.  Our TVs went from outlandish boxes with a small black and white picture to giant flat-screens with 4-K resolution that is clearer and brighter than our eyes’ own sight.  I can remember my grandmother’s party-line phone plugged into the wall as I walk around doing a FaceTime video on my cell.  How far will we go?

There is no question that life is different for each generation, but that doesn’t necessarily mean better or worse – just different.  Our parents worried about us with all the changes they saw, and we are concerned for our kids and grandkids with all the changes we see coming.  But we must remember that there is no new thing under the sun (Ecclesiastes 1:9).  Each generation has or had its good points and bad.  It is up to us to learn from the past generations and incorporate as much as possible of their good into our present generation, then relay as much of that as we can to the next generation. 

I think it is safe to say, that generally life is and always has been hectic.  Since we cannot change the time in which we live, we need not yearn for the past, nor worry for the future.  We can have peace when we are born again because God gave it to us.  It is the goodness of God that led us to repentance, and it is His grace that keeps us going.  When our lives are particularly hectic, and we feel like we can’t slow down, God can still help and guide us.  He can help us put on the brakes and provide us with serenity.  And even though it might seem counterintuitive at the moment, when we stop and take time to pray, hectic becomes manageable.  No matter how hectic our lives may get, we can always take a minute pray.  And that minute might surprise us by how marvelous the things are that God will do for us!

Note to my readers:  Many thanks for taking time out of your hectic schedule to read my blog.  It blesses more than you can know.  Love you!

A while ago I wrote about my stuff.  I have a lot of stuff!  I like my stuff.  I enjoy having my stuff.  Much of my stuff has sentimental value.  Some of my stuff is very important to me (like my pictures).  And the rest of my stuff just helps me function in my daily life. 

We all have stuff, and that stuff is unique to each one of us.  It reflects our personalities, our tastes and our lifestyles.  I know a couple in NJ who have been all over the world and have stuff from all their travels.  I like looking at their stuff and hearing the stories behind it.   Also, I have a friend in Ohio who is a very talented artist.  Her stuff exhibits that talent.  She considers her house a place to display the stuff that she collects, and her displays are museum-quality arrangements.  Seeing her stuff is an absolute pleasure, and a beautiful showcase of her talent.

Over my lifetime, I have had a plethora of stuff.  If I had kept ALL the stuff that I’ve had throughout my life, I would need a warehouse.  But fortunately, stuff  comes and goes from our lives.  One reason for that is that stuff is relative to our stage of life.   For instance, I don’t have the time or inclination nowadays to play with the toys I loved as a child.  And I couldn’t have cared less as a child about flow blue dishes.  So that’s why I don’t have a lot of toys now, and that’s why my grandmother didn’t give me her flow blue dishes until I was grown. 

Stuff also cycles through our lives.  When we lived on the farm, my stuff was indicative of country living.  I had gingham tablecloths and enameled tin canisters.  I had canning pots and a Hoosier cabinet.  Now that we live in Florida, I no longer have any of those things. 

Moving is one of the best activities for stuff management.  Not only does moving force us to give serious thought to what stuff we need and what stuff we don’t; but also new environments invite us to leave the old stuff behind and get new stuff.  And almost everybody likes to get new stuff! 

However, it is necessary to manage our stuff whether we move or stay put.  There is nothing wrong with staying put, there are lots of benefits of doing that.  But it is easy to amass too much stuff if we are in the same place for a long time.  Without the impetus of moving, stuff can over-accumulate.  Managing stuff involves organizing it, which helps us see our stuff in a better perspective.  If we have too much, we must determine what stuff stays and what goes.  We must decide what is profitable and what is not.  Only we can make those determinations for ourselves.  I dare not judge how you take care of your stuff, and you should not judge my choices – (unless we solicit that advice, which I often do). 

Another effect of having too much stuff is clutter.  Clutter happens when stuff becomes unmanageable.  The most common reason for that is volume.  The old adage, “a place for everything and everything in its place” is a good rule of thumb for stuff management.  However, even that rule is subject to personal application. 

You may be wondering why I’m talking about all this stuff.  Well, it occurred to me that stuff is more than just the objects we have.  Memories, feelings, opinions, worries, fears, and beliefs are also stuff we have in our lives. 

As our lives have unfolded, thoughts were generated from the experiences we encountered.  And those thoughts produced all the stuff listed above.  The thoughts we obtain from our experiences can affect us either positively or negatively; and we must determine what stuff we retain from those thoughts.  Will we cling to the positives or give in to the negatives?  Will the positives make us arrogant?  Will the negatives make us sour?  It’s up to each of us to make those decisions.

Just like the objects in our lives, we must manage the stuff in our minds.  Do we like the stuff that is in our minds?  Do we enjoy having it?  Does the stuff in our minds help us?  Or are we hanging on to stuff that we should have let go of a long time ago?  Are we collecting too much stuff in our minds?  We can apply the management practices that we utilize for our physical stuff on our mental stuff as well. 

Are we holding on to everything that our minds have collected over our lifetime?  Is your mind a giant warehouse?  Maybe a quaint little shop would be easier to manage.  Although we may have wonderful precious memories, there are some memories that we should not keep.  God designed us to be able to forget the bad stuff. 

Are we still playing with childhood toys as grown-ups?  Maybe we should consider our stage of life and put stage-appropriate stuff in our minds.  Are we allowing the stuff in our minds to cycle through?  Are we replacing the old stuff with exciting new stuff?  Is there clutter in our minds?  It might be time to clean house! 

If we are not enjoying our physical stuff, generally we change it.  We can do the same with the stuff in our minds.  If we have too much stuff or stuff we don’t want in our minds, dump it!  I am not making light of that task, but it is that simple (I didn’t say easy).  Just throw it out like the trash! 

We have a million excuses for keeping physical stuff we don’t need.  My most common excuse is that I might need it someday.  I never do!  What about the stuff in our minds?  If we are hanging on to thoughts that we don’t need; what excuses are we using?  “I might need this fear someday”?  “That resentment might come in handy in the future”?  I think we all would agree that those are NOT valid arguments for keeping those feelings. 

I want my physical stuff to be a blessing.  I want it to evoke pleasant feelings.  If I have something that doesn’t do that, I don’t keep it around, and I usually try to replace it with something that is pleasant.  I can’t guarantee that my stuff blesses anyone else like it does me, but I try to keep the overall atmosphere in our home positive and uplifting for everyone who visits.  What about our minds?  Do the thoughts in our minds evoke pleasant feelings for us?  If they don’t, why not replace them?  Why not keep the overall atmosphere in our minds positive and uplifting?  Then when we express our ideas, they will evoke pleasant feelings to those who hear us.

Of course, the most positive and uplifting thoughts are God’s thoughts.  God has communicated His thoughts to us through His words, which are written in the Bible.  When those words fill our thoughts, the stuff we have in our minds will be the best stuff.  It will be easily entreated.  It will be uplifting, positive and powerful.  And best of all it will be right! 

Even if you aren’t where you want to be in your surroundings or in your mind; there is always something positive to hold onto.  If you can think of nothing else, remind yourself that God loves you so much that He gave His only begotten son for you.  If your surroundings are unsatisfactory or your thoughts are a mess, remembering how much God loves you is the first step in changing that. 

If you are in a place in your life where you are blessed, be thankful.  Although our physical stuff can make us happy, it isn’t the stuff that brings us peace and joy.  That comes from the stuff we hold in our minds.  And true peace and joy come from having God’s Word in our minds. 

Note to my readers:  I will be away for the next 2 weeks, so I will post again in 3 weeks.  You’re the best!  Thanks for reading! 

Here it is, May again.  May flowers are blooming after April’s showers.  May begins summer-like weather.  May closes out the school year.  And May celebrates mothers.  All in all, May is a pretty good month! 😊

Being a mother myself, I know how hard mothers work, how thankless their job can be, and how many sleepless nights they may endure.  But I also know that from the first moment a mother holds her newborn child, something happens in her heart that changes her life.    

There is a scripture that asks, “could a woman forget her nursing child?” (Isaiah 49:15)  God uses a mother’s love, care and concern for her children as a tangible example of His love, care and concern for us.  It is almost unfathomable for most of us to imagine a mother ever forgetting her child.  However, this verse says that it is possible, but that God NEVER forgets us.  As strong as a mother’s bond may be, it can be broken.  But God’s bond with us is unbreakable because His love is infinite. 

I will readily admit that I wasn’t the greatest mother in the world.  As much as I loved my kids, I had the patience of gnat; and most of the time, I was guessing at whatever I was doing.  It is by the grace of God that my children grew up to be the wonderful adults they are today. 

But I took my job seriously and I tried to do it well because I wanted the best for my kids.  From the time they were born, I wanted them to learn about God.  I wanted them to have a strong relationship with Him, because I knew how much that meant to me, and how good it would be for them.  When they were little, I read Bible verses and sang Bible songs to them.  I prayed for them and taught them to pray.  I took them to Bible fellowships.  I tried to make the Bible as much a part of their lives as it was of mine.  And it was a good life for them.  They had a network of friends at fellowship, they learned a lot about the Bible, and they were surrounded by good Christian examples. 

Throughout their school years, Bible fellowships were still a big part of my children’s lives.  They had good friends who were part of the group, and they were exposed to a lot of Bible teachings.  A good foundation was laid.  But later in the high school and young adult years, time for fellowships and Bible teachings seemed to become secondary to all their age-related activities.  The Bible wasn’t lost to them, just kind of put on the back burner. 

At that time, this scripture became my go-to verse:

Proverbs 22:6  

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

This is a promise in God’s Word.  God promised that He would NEVER leave us nor forsake us, right? (Hebrews 13:5)  Will He ever leave or forsake our children?  NO!  If our children are not as enthused about God as we are, do we stop loving them?  No.  Do you think God stops loving them?  Absolutely not!  God is patient with us and patient with our kids.  It is the goodness of God that will lead them to Him (or back to Him).

In reminiscing about raising my children, I could think of all the times that I fell short or missed the mark.  I could compare myself to the ‘super-moms’ and feel very second-rate.  But I don’t do that.  I see the journey as my kids and I learning and growing together.  I used to say, “If only I knew then what I know now, I would have been a better mom.”  But – I would not know now what I do without going through the experiences that taught me.  So, I guess that’s not a valid argument.  The best that I can say is that I love my kids and always have.

We moms just love our kids and are thankful for them, no matter what age they are.  If you are a new mom, savor those sweet years of innocence.  They go by so fast, and it may be the only time that you have them all to yourself.    

If you are a mom of a teenager or 20-something, remember the promise (Proverbs 22:6).  Remind yourself of all the dumb stuff you did at that age.  And always remember,  “this too shall pass.”    

If your children are grown, relish your relationship with them now.  It is so fun to enjoy their company as adults.  And even more fun to watch them with their children.  You can sit back and slyly quip, “Been there. Done that.”   

If you are a grandmother (or great-grandmother), your cup runneth over!  Grandchildren are your reward for a job well done.  All the hard work you put into raising your children has paid off and now you get to have fun with your grandchildren while someone else does all the hard work! 

May celebrates mothers because mothers are an essential part of life. None of us would be here without one!  If you love your mom or your relatives who are moms, or if you know a mom that you admire, take a minute this Mother’s Day to express your thanks for their lives.  If you are a mom, enjoy your day!

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!

Note to my readers:  Thanks for reading! 

I bought a birthday card for my son that mentioned the stages of a child’s life.  So, of course I began to reflect on the stages of all my kids’ lives.  There were good times and bad times, ups and downs, easy stages and difficult ones.  But now, each one of my children fills my heart with pride and admiration.  They are terrific adults.

People go through many stages from infancy to adulthood.  Life is always a work in progress.  We are ever learning, ever growing, and ever changing.  And this process continues throughout every stage of life.  In remembering the stages of my kids’ lives, I am reminded of my own life, and the stories I’ve heard from family and friends.  So many memories, so much life and it all took place in stages.

Infancy is the beginning – the first stage.  Newborn babies are basically clean slates.  They are born knowing nothing of the outside world.  They respond to sensations in their bodies, and some external stimulation.  They recognize discomfort – like hungry, tired, or cold; and they know that they don’t like those things!  And that’s about all they know.  Newborns have one way of communicating – crying.

As babies grow, parents introduce more stimuli – the sound of their voices, the feel of their embrace, the routine of their lives.  Babies learn that their parents are the source of their care and comfort.  As parents talk to their babies, they begin to learn more ways of communicating.  Is there anything more precious than a baby cooing or laughing?  There was a video circulating online of a dad making his baby laugh over and over by tearing a piece of paper.  I could have watched it all day because the sound of that laughter tickled my heart.  At the opposite end, I was told a long time ago that the sound of babies crying is buried as a subliminal sound in scary movies because it is so unnerving to the adult ear.  I believe it.  There is nothing better than hearing a baby laughing and nothing worse than hearing one crying. 

As babies grow physically, their motor skills develop.  Generally, parents welcome every new ability.  Rolling over, sitting up, walking and talking are all major milestones in a baby’s growth.  These skills are not only welcomed, but also lauded.  Here is an interesting sidelight, however – parents are usually very anxious for their first child to accomplish all these milestones, but sometimes not so much for their second.  Why?  Because they realize that babies grow up so fast, they want the chance to savor this baby stage again in their second child as long as possible. 

Then comes toddlerhood.  Children’s learning and growing progress at an alarming rate of speed in this stage.  And another thing happens – children’s wills begin to develop.  You may have heard the term, “terrible twos”.  That phrase was coined because around two years old, children often become obstinate or self-willed.  First-time parents may find this particularly difficult as they may not be prepared for this battle of the wills.  But it is a natural part of growing up.  A friend told me once that a stubborn child grows up into an adult with convictions.  I don’t know if that’s true, but it helped me to deal with the battles.  Other parts of toddlerhood are fun and entertaining.  Children are beginning to express themselves in various ways, which are often humorous.  They are also learning how to function, and that can be very entertaining as well. 

The pre-school years were some of my favorites.  Children have an innocence that is very enjoyable in this stage.  Communications between parents and children become more engaging.  Children are inquisitive and anxious to learn.  They want to hear what their parents have to say.  (This is not necessarily true in later stages!)  Parents have a great opportunity in this stage to teach their children the values that they want them to have.  Family and close friends remain the dominant role models during these years, and bonds are solidified. 

Then come the school years.  These years have definite effects on every child’s life. School years advance in increasing complexity.  In Elementary School, life is simple, and the challenges are not too difficult to handle.  Family ties are still strong, but outside influences do begin to show up in children’s conversations and behavior.  Now, not all outside influences are bad, some are welcomed additions to children’s experiences.  Battling unwelcome influences, however, is an ongoing concern.  But that fight is more manageable during the Elementary School stage than in later stages.

In the Junior High stage, challenges can become more problematic for various reasons, but one of the biggest impacts is a little thing called hormones. ☹ Jr. High challenges are often accompanied by peer pressures and/or contrary attitudes.  Children’s lives become complicated and difficult in their own eyes; and they may tend to avoid parental advice.  This stage rolls right into the High School stage where all these things may seem to be multiplied and magnified.  By the High School stage, children might begin to resist or resent parental influence.  They might even decide that they are smarter than their parents.  They want to spread their wings and fly into adulthood unfettered by rules or restrictions (or reality).  These years can be difficult for both parents and children.  I will say though, that I have many marvelous memories of my kids’ high school years, but some not so good ones too.

The next stage is young adulthood. After High School, children may head off to college or into the workforce.  Either way, children are developing their own lives and securing their own futures.  They will make many decisions without counsel from their parents and determine for themselves in what direction they want to proceed.  This is an exciting stage for young people but might be a trying one for parents as they must step back and let go. 

Children eventually become full-blown adults with their own lives and families.  It may have taken many stages for them to get to that point, but suddenly (it seems) our children are no longer children.  (Yet they will always be our babies!)  We watch them go through a lot of the stages that we went through.  We offer assistance and advice when we can.  But we allow our children the opportunity to experience their own stages, just like we did. 

Reflecting on my children’s lives as well as my own, I see that each stage builds on the last and each stage results in our being a little wiser.  In these few general stages that I have listed, there are usually many sub-stages and side trips.  But all these things work together to give us the lives that we have right now.  All the stages, whether good or bad, have taught us something.  It is up to us to learn from both.  We must determine for ourselves what we do with all that learning.  We must be willing to admit when we’re wrong and be enthusiastic with our apologies.  We do not gloat over our successes nor compare ourselves to others.  We must remember that all these things result in growth and wisdom.  (eventually)

I love learning new things.  I laugh when I learn something that I should have known a long time ago – like using scissors to cut artichoke leaves.  Who knew??  I may resist change at times, but I’m always happier when the changes are made.  I’m quite aware that I’m not perfect, and I try not to beat myself up too much when I make mistakes.  I have no problem saying, “I’m sorry,” or “I need help.”  I seek to see the good in people and to bless folks whenever I can.  These are all things that I have learned through the many stages of my life. 

Stages come and stages go, but there is one constant through all of them – and that is God.  No matter what stage we are in, or watching our children in, God gives us the strength we need to weather the storms and He provides the victory for our rejoicing.  He helps us stand, He guides our steps, He picks us up when we fall.  He never leaves us, nor forsakes us.  (Hebrews 13:5) 

Stages are merely steppingstones in our lives; one leads to the next.  And God is right there with us every step of the way.  We can claim His exceeding great and precious promises in ANY and EVERY stage of life. 

Note to my readers:  Enjoy whatever stage of life you’re in and look forward to the next one.  Thanks for reading. 

Recently, my son and his family visited for spring break.  Florida is a popular spring break destination, and even more so when you don’t have to pay for a hotel.  I love that.  I bet I look forward to spring break as much as the kids do!  It’s an enticing proposition for my family to come here since it’s not really warm up north yet.

My son’s visit was wonderfully enjoyable.  I was sad when it ended.  And this got me thinking about family ties.  There is a bond, a closeness that most families share.  It stretches across the miles, and absence only strengthens it.  Even if families don’t get along all the time, that bond remains an underlying link between them. 

No two families are alike.  And no two members of any family are alike.  This presents an interesting dynamic because these different people must learn to live together as a family.  Think about it…  It starts when two people from different families decide to get married.  They have a lovely wedding, an exciting honeymoon, then they must learn to live together and make a life for themselves.  As well as they thought they knew each other, beginning life together is an adjustment.  Two unique people from two unique upbringings must meld together and become a new family.  This is not an easy task.  But people do it every day.  It’s a process that takes work and time.  There must be compromise and a willingness to change.  It also involves putting selfishness aside.

Ephesians 5:31 – For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

During this process, these two different people from different backgrounds, with different ideas, and different opinions, may decide that they want a child.  So, they have a baby, and this precious newborn adds a whole new set of challenges to their lives.  Diverging opinions can resurface because of different upbringings.  Stress may build from unanticipated newborn pressures and sleep deprivation.  It is not an easy task.  But some people do it multiple times! 😊 

Every stage of raising children offers its own set of challenges because as previously stated, no two members of any family are alike.  As children grow, they are exposed to outside influences, which play a role in their forming their own opinions.  And these opinions may be contrary to their parents’ opinions.  When children are young, parents can guard and direct the information their children receive.  But as children grow, go to school, make friends etc., they start to develop their own ideas outside their parents’ sphere of influence.  It takes consistent work for parents to instill the proper values that they want their children to have, while allowing them to learn and grow on their own.  It is not an easy task.  But parents know it’s necessary.

Teenagers are driven to express their independence.  They may disagree with their parents just for the sake of disagreeing.  They so badly want to be grown-ups, but without the responsibilities entailed.  Stress may build from unanticipated teenager pressures and sleep deprivation. It is not an easy task.  But people do it and survive it every day.  (And if you have teenagers at home now, my prayers are with you.)

Rearing children is not only a challenging endeavor, but also one of the most satisfying things people can do.  What a privilege it is to be an integral part of a child’s development into adulthood!  It is a daunting responsibility, but seeing a child grow into a conscientious adult makes the struggles and the stresses worth every minute.  It is a rewarding task.  And people do it every day! 

All of this is to say that it may seem illogical to combine two very different people into “one flesh”, but God instituted that relationship.  God compares the husband/wife relationship to Christ’s relationship with the church.  And to add new souls to that “one flesh” may seem completely overwhelming, but having children is also God’s design.  Families are a vital part of life.  God intended people to be together in families.  He wanted that relationship to be an example of His relationship with us.  He is our Father, and we are His kids. 

A friend of mine said in a Bible teaching, “Families take work because there are people in families and people are messy.  And there are kids in families and kids are really messy.”  This is true for our earthly families and for God’s heavenly family as well.  We are all different and we all are messy.  We all have our good qualities and our not so good qualities.  We have our ups and downs.  But there is one thing that takes care of it all and that is LOVE.  The tie that binds any family together is love.  And the greatest love is God’s love.  In 1 Corinthians 13, it says; “And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.”  (Charity is the love of God.) 

Love covers for our shortcomings and mends our broken hearts.  Love heals our wounds and builds us up.  Love supports us and helps us to be victorious in all our endeavors.  It is our commitment to loving our families that sustains them.  Whether your earthly family is large or small, close or distant, tight or aloof, you can never go wrong by loving them.  No one can ever get too much love!! 

Note to my readers: Sending my love to you, my family of readers.  Thanks for reading!! 

If you read my previous post regarding the puppy, you may remember I promised that I would update the status of the situation in a couple of months.  So here goes. 

The biggest learning curve for me has been learning to change my mind.  This adventure was not my idea, and all my objections were overruled.  So, I needed to change my mind, accept the situation and make it work. Sometimes we can find ourselves in situations that we cannot prevent or change, and our only choice is to change is our thinking.  I doubt that I am the only person who finds it difficult to change my mind at times, so maybe you can relate to how hard this has been for me.   

The first step in changing our minds is to replace the old thoughts with new thoughts.  So instead of thinking how much I did NOT want to raise a puppy at this time, I had to start thinking, what could I do to raise a good puppy?  I replaced resentful thoughts with charitable ones.  And I sought to find positives that I could keep in my mind.  (She is really cute!)  However, it is still a work in progress!

A puppy is a full-time responsibility and affects everything in your life in some way.  So, besides remembering to pray a lot, the next thing I needed to learn was how to fit the puppy into my lifestyle – and not to fit me into the puppy’s lifestyle.  This meant that I had to continue with my daily routine and not cater to the puppy’s whims.  Oh, I have to stop what I’m doing and take her outside to “get busy” from time to time, but for the most part, I do everything I need to do, and she naps or follows me around.  But I must always keep an awareness of what she is doing because if she is left unsupervised for a time, she might be chewing the furniture, eating a towel or trying to dig a hole in the wood floor.  (All of which, she has tried at least once.)

I do need to walk her, but that is as good for me as it is for her.  I am meeting more neighbors and getting some more exercise.  She loves her walks, but she is afraid of big dogs, and there have been occasions that I had to carry her because of that. 

We taught her to ring the sleigh bells on the door handle when she needs to go out and “get busy”, but she has learned that she can ring the bells whenever she just wants to go outside and play.  She is readily obedient – when it suits her!  She thinks it’s great fun to run away from us when we are trying to catch her, and she often does not come when she is called.  She thinks everyone is her playmate and jumping on them is part of the game.  She loves to eat grass, leaves, sticks, rocks, dirt, Spanish moss, you name it.  She barks like crazy whenever one of us leaves the house, or when she is trying to get her way.  The trainer told us to ignore her when she barks like that.  And that we should even turn our backs to her, because that would hurt her feelings and she wouldn’t like that. 

Late one afternoon, while I was preparing dinner, I wouldn’t give her what I was making, and she started barking.  So, I turned my back toward her.  Then she ran around to where I was facing and barked more.  And I turned away from her again and she ran to my front again.  This happened two more times before she finally stopped barking.  (there has never been a question that she is smart!)  It only takes a couple turns now before she stops barking.  I will add to my story that even the trainer was amazed at how loud and shrill her bark is. It gives new meaning to the term, ‘piercing your ears’!

She still has much learning to do and so do we.  We can’t give in and allow her to misbehave, and we can’t expect her to behave without being trained.  So, the work continues.  The next step in changing my mind has been to keep my eyes on the goal.  I remind myself that repetition is a key to learning.  And both the puppy and I are still learning.  I cannot slack off in my training efforts and I cannot get angry when she doesn’t obey.  Learning often doesn’t pay off right away but the fruit becomes apparent in time.  Eyes on the goal!  Time spent now will pay off later! 

And like I said in my previous post, I like dogs as much as the next person, and there are times that I just love having the puppy around.  She is cute, playful and smart.  I remind myself to stay focused on her good qualities.  I mean really isn’t that the way we successfully change our minds?  Focus on the positives and refute the negatives.  And I know that once these few wrong behaviors are corrected, she will become a nice addition to our lives. 

The last part of changing my mind is to believe that I can do this.  I know that the puppy is here to stay.  So, the only option I have is to make the situation the best it can be.  I must accept the extra effort involved in training and caring for a puppy and make it as much a part of my daily routine as cooking and cleaning.  I don’t fight doing those things, they are “just what I do”.  And being a dog owner has to become, “just what I do” too. 

The Bible talks about us being transformed by the renewing of our minds.  (Romans 12:2)  Renewing the mind is basically changing your thoughts.  Biblically it is replacing worldly thoughts with Godly thoughts.  When we do that, we will be transformed like a caterpillar changes into a beautiful butterfly. 

In practical application, we can use that principle to change our thinking from negative thoughts to positive ones; like from “I don’t want a dog right now” into “I’m going to do what it takes to have the best dog ever.”  Change is seldom instantaneous.  More often than not, it is the result of a faithful effort to embrace new thoughts.  It is accomplished by repeatedly refuting the undesirable information and replacing it with the information that we want to have.  And the process takes time.    

So, the puppy and I are figuring each other out.  She is learning that we are both happier when she does what she is supposed to do.  And she is learning to behave so that she is not a constant burden.  I am learning to be more patient and to accept my new role as a puppy parent.  With God’s continual help, I can do this!  And so can she.

Note to my readers:  To all of you who just love, love, love your dogs, I look forward to being one of you.  Thanks for reading. 

I’ve been thinking… It is easy to do the things that we WANT to do.  Now, you may be thinking, “Wow, Terri, that is a profound statement – not.”   And I would agree.  But let’s explore this a bit further. 

Consider… Do you want to eat?  With few exceptions, the answer is probably yes.  Does anyone need to twist your arm to make you eat?   Unless you are a small child, it usually doesn’t take much coercion for us to sit down to a good meal.  It’s easy to eat because we want to do it.  And one reason that we want to do it is because we like to do it.  (In fact, some of us may really like to eat.  So eating is too easy to do!)  Not eating on the other hand, is often not what we want to do, so it takes more effort.  Hence, dieting can be difficult. 

We all have things that we need to do whether we want to or not.  Chores or activities that are necessary to maintain our lifestyle cannot go undone.  Part of growing up is learning how to do those things.  Do we like to do all those things?  Probably not.  So consequently, we might tend to do the things that we want to do because we like doing those things.  And we may struggle to do the things that we don’t want to do because we don’t like doing those.  For instance, I hate washing the floors.  I procrastinate doing that chore as long as I can.  It isn’t easy for me to wash the floors because I don’t want to do it.  On the other hand, I love to rearrange my nick-nacks.  I do that all the time because I want to. 

Think about our jobs.  Whether we are gainfully employed or work at other endeavors, we all have work to do.  Do we want to do it?  Probably yes and no.  I was blessed because I liked all my jobs.  It wasn’t hard to get up every morning and go into the office because I wanted to.  My husband, however, has had a few jobs that he did not like.  It was not easy for him to go to work because the environment was so stressful.  And nobody wants to put themselves in a stressful situation. 

What about our relationships, especially with family and friends?  Our wellbeing is enriched by those relationships.  When our relationships flourish, we flourish.  So, how do relationships flourish?  By working at them.  When a relationship is brand new, people often WANT to make it work.  It is easy for them to put forth the effort to develop the relationship because that is what they want to do.  Unfortunately, in the long-term, people can become complacent and no longer want to work at a relationship. Since that work is no longer easy, the effort might wane, and the relationship gradually becomes hollow.  (Our relationship with God can also fall prey to our lack of effort if we are not careful.)

In all these examples I think we can see that it is easy to do the things that we WANT to do and it more difficult to do the things that we don’t want to do.  However, there are many things in life that we must do regardless of whether we want to or not.  So, what’s the answer?

Well, the simple answer is to learn to want to do those things that we don’t like.  Ok. How?

Of course, the first key to our success is asking for God’s help.  The Bible promises that when we seek God first, He will supply what we need.  (Matthew 6:33)  We will never be poorer for keeping God first in our hearts and minds.  He can guide our steps through any situation.  And He can help us master the responsibilities that we do not like to do.  Doesn’t it make sense that we are stronger with God’s help than we are without it?

In all my years of washing floors, I’ve never learned to like doing it.  BUT I have learned that I like clean floors!  When I keep my eyes on that goal, I want to wash my floors.  So, the next key is being goal oriented.  Goals are things that we WANT to achieve.  If our focus remains on the goal and not on the task of getting to it, we will be more apt to want to complete the work. 

In the case of stressful situations, sometimes we cannot avoid those.  The world can be a crummy place.  Some people think that they just need to ‘accept’ these kinds of situations as part of life.  I disagree.  We may not be able to control every situation in our lives, but we do not need to ‘accept’ the negatives.  Instead, we refute them.  In the case of my husband’s unnecessarily stressful jobs, he steeled his resolve and did what he needed to do until he could remedy the situation by getting a new job.  So, another key is recognizing that, “this too shall pass.”  We don’t give in or give up; we work through negative situations until we achieve the success that we want. 

Relationships can be a little trickier because they involve another person, who also has free will.  We cannot make others think like we do or behave in a certain way.  We can communicate the thoughts of our hearts to them, but what they do with that information is up to them.  In an unselfish relationship, each person wants to bless the other, so their actions are aimed in that direction.  Selfishness is almost always at the root of a struggling relationship.  So, we can add unselfishness to our list of keys.

A friend shared this saying with me, “Your energy flows where your attention goes.”  So, it seems to me that if we put our attention in the right place, our energy will lead us to success in that endeavor.   And success breeds success. 

This indeed only scratches the surface of things we can do to help ourselves accomplish the things that we WANT in our lives.  By seeking God first, focusing on our goals, fighting through the hard times, and being unselfish, we can open the doors to a successful life of doing the things we like and liking the things we do. 

Note to my readers:  Thank you for wanting to read my blog! 

Well, it happened again.  Another birthday!  Why do birthdays come more frequently now that I’m older than they did when I was a kid?  I remember there being an eternity between birthdays as a child.  And nowadays, every time I turn around, another birthday has come and gone! 

I did a lot of reflecting on my birthday this year. Not about age, but about friends.  I will explain…

I received more greetings for my birthday this year than I remember receiving before.  Perhaps, I just appreciated them more than I ever have. Whichever…  I am not only thankful for the wonderful people who took their time to think of me on my birthday, but also humbled that they thought I warranted such remembrance.

So, I began to really think about my friends.  They are the most remarkable people!  I am proud to call them my friends (and my family).    Each one of them is unique in their own special way.  Each one adds something amazing to my life.  And I am the better for knowing all of them. 

My friends are very talented.  They are artists, musicians, writers, teachers, crafters, decorators, public speakers, health care and other industry professionals, mothers, fathers, dancers, designers, financial whizzes, chefs, and just plain smart!  I can genuinely say that I admire each one of them for their particular skills. 

In addition to their talents, my friends exhibit outstanding qualities.  They are kind, considerate, trustworthy, honest, clever, funny, bright, compassionate, strong, bold, generous, faithful, patient, industrious, uplifting, and supportive. They all embrace a positive attitude.

My friends help me, teach me, inspire me, console me, and correct me when I’m wrong (which might be more often than I care to admit).  They always manage to be there for me when I need them.  My heart thrills just hearing their voices. We laugh together often and cry together sometimes.  We rejoice in each other’s victories and share each other’s sorrows.  We love spending time together even though distance may impede our frequency.  But we know that someday that will change, and we will never have to miss each other again.

Best of all, my friends love God.  That is the biggest tie that binds us.  We share common beliefs on the most important things in life.  We endeavor to live by Biblical principles.  We love each other with God’s love.

So, to all my friends, God bless you and thank you for being my friend.  Our connection is so very important to me.  When life becomes a roller coaster, we’ll ride it together.  When the sun rises over a placid ocean, we’ll watch it together.  And when the dark night encroaches, we’ll hold each other’s hands.  We are in this thing together.  We have each other’s backs.  I am more thankful than you can imagine having you in my life.  And I yearn to be the kind of friend to you that you are to me.  I love you!! 

Note to my readers:    You are remarkable!!  ♥ Thanks for reading!