I’ve been thinking… It is easy to do the things that we WANT to do. Now, you may be thinking, “Wow, Terri, that is a profound statement – not.” And I would agree. But let’s explore this a bit further.
Consider… Do you want to eat? With few exceptions, the answer is probably yes. Does anyone need to twist your arm to make you eat? Unless you are a small child, it usually doesn’t take much coercion for us to sit down to a good meal. It’s easy to eat because we want to do it. And one reason that we want to do it is because we like to do it. (In fact, some of us may really like to eat. So eating is too easy to do!) Not eating on the other hand, is often not what we want to do, so it takes more effort. Hence, dieting can be difficult.
We all have things that we need to do whether we want to or not. Chores or activities that are necessary to maintain our lifestyle cannot go undone. Part of growing up is learning how to do those things. Do we like to do all those things? Probably not. So consequently, we might tend to do the things that we want to do because we like doing those things. And we may struggle to do the things that we don’t want to do because we don’t like doing those. For instance, I hate washing the floors. I procrastinate doing that chore as long as I can. It isn’t easy for me to wash the floors because I don’t want to do it. On the other hand, I love to rearrange my nick-nacks. I do that all the time because I want to.
Think about our jobs. Whether we are gainfully employed or work at other endeavors, we all have work to do. Do we want to do it? Probably yes and no. I was blessed because I liked all my jobs. It wasn’t hard to get up every morning and go into the office because I wanted to. My husband, however, has had a few jobs that he did not like. It was not easy for him to go to work because the environment was so stressful. And nobody wants to put themselves in a stressful situation.
What about our relationships, especially with family and friends? Our wellbeing is enriched by those relationships. When our relationships flourish, we flourish. So, how do relationships flourish? By working at them. When a relationship is brand new, people often WANT to make it work. It is easy for them to put forth the effort to develop the relationship because that is what they want to do. Unfortunately, in the long-term, people can become complacent and no longer want to work at a relationship. Since that work is no longer easy, the effort might wane, and the relationship gradually becomes hollow. (Our relationship with God can also fall prey to our lack of effort if we are not careful.)
In all these examples I think we can see that it is easy to do the things that we WANT to do and it more difficult to do the things that we don’t want to do. However, there are many things in life that we must do regardless of whether we want to or not. So, what’s the answer?
Well, the simple answer is to learn to want to do those things that we don’t like. Ok. How?
Of course, the first key to our success is asking for God’s help. The Bible promises that when we seek God first, He will supply what we need. (Matthew 6:33) We will never be poorer for keeping God first in our hearts and minds. He can guide our steps through any situation. And He can help us master the responsibilities that we do not like to do. Doesn’t it make sense that we are stronger with God’s help than we are without it?
In all my years of washing floors, I’ve never learned to like doing it. BUT I have learned that I like clean floors! When I keep my eyes on that goal, I want to wash my floors. So, the next key is being goal oriented. Goals are things that we WANT to achieve. If our focus remains on the goal and not on the task of getting to it, we will be more apt to want to complete the work.
In the case of stressful situations, sometimes we cannot avoid those. The world can be a crummy place. Some people think that they just need to ‘accept’ these kinds of situations as part of life. I disagree. We may not be able to control every situation in our lives, but we do not need to ‘accept’ the negatives. Instead, we refute them. In the case of my husband’s unnecessarily stressful jobs, he steeled his resolve and did what he needed to do until he could remedy the situation by getting a new job. So, another key is recognizing that, “this too shall pass.” We don’t give in or give up; we work through negative situations until we achieve the success that we want.
Relationships can be a little trickier because they involve another person, who also has free will. We cannot make others think like we do or behave in a certain way. We can communicate the thoughts of our hearts to them, but what they do with that information is up to them. In an unselfish relationship, each person wants to bless the other, so their actions are aimed in that direction. Selfishness is almost always at the root of a struggling relationship. So, we can add unselfishness to our list of keys.
A friend shared this saying with me, “Your energy flows where your attention goes.” So, it seems to me that if we put our attention in the right place, our energy will lead us to success in that endeavor. And success breeds success.
This indeed only scratches the surface of things we can do to help ourselves accomplish the things that we WANT in our lives. By seeking God first, focusing on our goals, fighting through the hard times, and being unselfish, we can open the doors to a successful life of doing the things we like and liking the things we do.
Note to my readers: Thank you for wanting to read my blog!