My mom regularly cautioned me to, “Watch what you say.” Those words came to my mind the other day when I was talking to our financial advisor. I told him that I was looking for a part-time job. And I began to tell him all the things that I couldn’t do. He stopped me and said, “Forget about all that, there are plenty of jobs out there that you can do. Just decide what you want to do and go for it. Companies are crying for workers nowadays.”
I was embarrassed because I usually don’t talk like that, and I didn’t realize that I was being so negative while I was saying it. The experience kind of woke me up. Sometimes, we may just spout words without really thinking about what we are saying, but that can get us in the soup. It is important that we pay attention to the things that we say.
We all make mistakes and unintentionally say the wrong thing. Unfortunately, that is going to happen because we are not perfect. I am particularly guilty of saying things in jest that are not funny. It’s like sarcasm, but I don’t mean to be sarcastic because that can be perceived as cruel mocking. I think I’m trying to be humorous by being ironic, but I actually come across as being moronic instead. I find myself often saying, “I’m sorry. I was trying to be funny.” I’m always forgiven, but I always wish I had not said what I did.
Without thinking, we can occasionally say thoughtless words that can hurt someone; or careless words that can discourage them; or even cruel words that can break their hearts. I certainly don’t want to be the source of causing any of those things, and I know that you don’t want to be either.
There was a popular saying a few years back, “Engage brain before opening mouth.” That is good advice, but we don’t always remember to do it. So how can we get sharper?
Another old adage is, “garbage in – garbage out.” The first step in watching our words is to put the proper thoughts in our minds. If we fill our minds with negative ideas, we will give out negative words. But if we fill our minds with positives, our words will be positive. We know that God is light, and His Word is light. If our minds are full of God’s Word, we will give out light. And our words will edify, exhort, and comfort people because they are light. We are always safe speaking God’s words because His words are not only light, but also truth. However, speaking God’s words does not mean that scripture verses are the only words we ever speak. It would be pretty hard to get to know someone by just reciting scriptures to them! It means that the foundation of the words we speak is rooted in our understanding of the scriptures. Then our words will be positive, and full of light and truth.
The next step is to slow down. It is often our words spoken in haste that get us in trouble because we haven’t taken the time to sufficiently engage our brains before speaking. Maybe we are so anxious to be heard that we just blurt out something. Or maybe we simply misunderstand the context of the conversation. In any case, when we jump in hastily without forethought, we can misspeak.
Another step is to listen, which goes hand in hand with slowing down. A good listener is genuinely interested in what others are saying. A good conversationist is usually also a good listener for that reason. Have you ever been riveted by someone recounting an incident? You were listening. But sometimes in conversations our minds wander, or we are anxious for our turn to talk. That is not being a good listener.
The last step is to “mean what we say and say what we mean.” Doing this involves all the previous steps. In order for us to mean what we say, we cannot speak flippantly or hastily. And to say what we mean requires thoughtful listening and formulating our responses accordingly. Both require a sturdy base of positive thoughts in our minds. Of course, God’s Word is the best source for those positives! And we should also remember that God helps us in every situation, even with the words we speak.
I will slip a word of caution in here, though – don’t allow the fear of saying the wrong thing stop you from talking. The Bible calls the tongue an unruly evil that no man can tame (James 3:8). So, it is certain that we will say the wrong thing from time to time. When that happens, we apologize and ask forgiveness if we’ve hurt someone. Then we move on and try to do better the next time by practicing the steps above. We also cannot forget that the greatest learning often comes from correcting the mistakes we’ve made.
Being mindful of what we say is a good habit to develop. And the simplest way to accomplish that is by filling our minds with so much of God’s wonderful matchless Word that there is no ground left for the negatives of the world to take root (an ongoing endeavor). And when our minds are full of God’s Word, we can’t help but be full of His love as well. Then, when His love has filled our hearts and minds, we will act accordingly in what we do, and in what we say. God is able to direct our steps in our actions and in our words. We can still be bold while watching what we say!!
Note to my readers: Happy talking!! Thanks for reading!