My Way or the Highway

Have you ever heard the saying, “My way or the highway”? 

Many common sayings of today come from ancient roots, sometimes even Biblical roots.  “My way or the highway” is not one of them.  It was coined in the 1970’s and thought to be first used in relation to hitchhiking.  I understand its meaning and even its value in certain circumstances.

You might have heard this saying in the context of a dad speaking to his teenager when they have a difference of opinion.  The dad is saying that he is in charge of the family and if the teenager doesn’t like it, they are free to leave.  Generally, this is an idle threat because dads really don’t want their teenagers to leave, but they are trying to make a point.  And having raised three teenagers, I recognize how difficult parent-teenager communication can be!

We may have heard a coach or employer utilize this saying. In both cases, the ultimatum usually is intended, which isn’t always a bad thing.  A coach needs his players to follow his directions in order to properly function as a team and achieve a specific goal – to win!  If a player refuses to cooperate, they could affect the whole team’s performance, and thus should not be part of that team.  The coach may need to show that player the highway.

Employers also have precise requirements that need to be followed in order to achieve their business objectives.  Employees must obey the applicable laws, comply with company directives and policies, and adhere to multiple rules and regulations.  If an employee chooses not to do those things, he could jeopardize the company’s success, or worse – hurt himself or others.  Therefore, he shouldn’t work for that company and probably should be asked to hit the highway.

In all these examples, “my way” needs to be acknowledged.  A father, a coach, and an employer all have responsibilities to uphold.  Their roles put them in positions of authority.  And as such, their instructions should be heeded.  But what happens if “my way” is the wrong way?  What do we do then?

Do we need to obey wrong edicts?  No!  If we find ourselves in a situation where we are confronted with a way that is wrong (morally or any other way) and we cannot follow it in good conscience, we can show ourselves the highway.  If a person in authority asks us to do something that goes against our convictions, we have the right to choose our response.  However, our response is not a decision to be made lightly.  In many cases, a difference of opinion can be settled by both sides agreeing to listen to the other’s viewpoint and find an acceptable solution.  But if that doesn’t work, the highway may be the only option. 

People in authority should be good examples to follow.  They should lead by doing.  They should care about the people they’re leading, and they should aim to do the right thing.  Their respect should be genuinely earned, not coerced.  For example, a good dad has his children’s best interests at heart.  He endeavors to lead his children in the right way by his own actions and words.  He wants his children to grow up to be successful and happy.  He tries to act judiciously.  And in order to accomplish these things, he knows that discipline must be involved (hence a teenager’s opposition).  A good dad knows that discipline is a necessary part of life, but he is not a tyrant.

In our culture today, discipline has almost become a “dirty word”.  Receiving discipline is equated to cruel and unusual punishment.  Requiring discipline is considered to be stifling and restrictive.  Our culture touts the idea that “anything goes – no limits” is the key to happiness.  Yet, that attitude is actually completely stifling and restrictive because only the loudest and most outrageous people are heard, and alternative opinions or ideas are suppressed.  People are afraid speak out in disagreement, which is the very essence of oppression. 

Quite the opposite attitude is true.  Great athletes, artists, entrepreneurs, and such know that discipline is critical to their achievements.  They all practice mental and physical discipline in order to attain their goals.  And what is more satisfying than achieving a goal that you’ve been striving toward?  Talk about happiness! 

Disciplined people have FOCUS.  And they use that focus to hit their targets.  They know that without discipline, there is no focus.  And without focus, there is no clear path.  And without a clear path, people wander aimlessly. 

So, putting this all together, “My way or the highway” can be a good saying if it’s spoken to encourage positive results, not to be threatening.  It can be a call to work together to allay  differences.  And if it is received with an attitude of cooperation, it can produce much profit.

If you are the one saying, “my way…” just remember;  Jesus Christ is THE way, the truth and the life (John 14:6).  THE way indicates that there is only ONE right way.  In other words, “my way” must line up with THE way in order to be right.  Is your way lined up?  If not, you might have some work to do.

If you are the one hearing, “…or the highway” just remember;  all highways go somewhere.  You determine your destination.  Whether the trip is planned for you, or you plan it yourself, you are still the one who steers the vehicle.  And you can be comforted in knowing that even if your journey involves detours or traversing steep mountains and treacherous roads; God will always provide safe travels. 

Note to my readers:  Lining up your thoughts with THE way and trusting God on your way is the best way to go!  Thanks for reading!