Having just celebrated Mother’s Day, I spent some time remembering my mom. She was a good mom, kindhearted and understanding. She was unbiased and non-judgmental. I was raised to never judge a book by its cover; and taught that there are always two sides to every story.
My mom was quirky, which I never really appreciated until I was grown. And she was opinionated, which trait I inherited – come to think of it, I inherited both of those traits (just ask my husband!). She was Christian but didn’t often go to church. However, she did her best to be a good person and encouraged me to be the same.
I remember one particular Mother’s Day when I was around 12 years old. I had saved my money and purchased a teapot for my mom’s special day. Now, mind you, this was in the 60’s – the teapot was dark olive green with an apple on the lid for a handle, and an apple motif on the front of the pot. I thought it was the most beautiful teapot in the world and I was excited to give it to her. I remember this gift so vividly because, on that Mother’s Day, I woke up covered in hives from head to toe due to an allergic reaction. My entire body was bright red. My eyes were nearly swollen shut, my face was distorted, and my feet were so swollen, it hurt to walk. But I hobbled down the hall to my mom’s bedroom (she was having breakfast in bed) and presented the gift to her. She cried. Not because of the gift, but because of me. It hurt her heart to see me in such a state. That demonstration of love and concern made an impression on my young mind, which I have never forgotten. My mom had that teapot on display in her kitchen all of her days. She passed away nearly 30 years ago, and I still miss her.
I also had two wonderful grandmothers. They were as different as night and day, but each was uniquely special to me. I called them both, “Grammy”. And they both lived in New England. Our summer vacations were always spent visiting them, my dad’s parents first, and then my mom’s.
My dad’s mother was rather old fashioned. She wore her hair in a bun, dressed in a style from decades before I was born, and she always wore a hat when we went out. They lived in a big house on a tree farm. I have fond memories of picking green beans with her in their garden – I ate as many as I put in the basket. And I still love raw green beans!
Every year, Grammy would take my mom and me to town to go shopping. This was always a highlight of our visit. Each year she bought me a new dress and a new doll. I loved these shopping trips, not just because I got presents, but because it was a lady’s day out and I was part of it.
There were always Eskimo Pies for me in their giant chest freezer in the pantry. (The pantry was a whole room off the kitchen. My mom’s pantry was a little closet so of course, I thought my grandmother’s pantry was extraordinary. In addition to the treasure-chest freezer, there were shelves of food and kitchen gear, and my grandmother’s wringer washer, which she rolled out to the sink when she did laundry. She was the only person I knew with one of those and the process of using it to wash clothes fascinated me.) If I ate all my dinner, Grammy would tell me that I could get an Eskimo Pie, so off to the pantry I’d run! The freezer was so big and deep that I would often have to get a stool or something to stand on to reach my treat. But you can be assured that I found a way to get one every time. That was probably a little test of my ingenuity, which was likely my grandfather’s idea, but I rose to the challenge.
My mom’s mother was trendier. She wore her hair and dressed in the style of the current day. They lived in an apartment in town. Grammy read with me and told me stories. I can still hear her voice. She also listened to my music. But I never thought she minded that because really, who didn’t love the Monkees?
During our visits, we went out almost every day. There were a few restaurants that were always on the agenda, an old factory that was turned into a shopping outlet, other family, and of course, the ocean! Grammy probably needed a week to recover after our whirlwind stays!
During our visits, my parents and grandparents often played Bridge in the evenings. I never understood the game, but they had fun and I could watch whatever I wanted on TV (a win-win). It was usually ladies against the men, so the competition was lively. One night, after having been on a losing streak, my mom and grandmother wore hats to the game for good luck. They won that night. So the next night, my dad and grandpa came to the table wearing hats. I actually don’t remember, but the men must have won that night, because the next night they all wore hats! Everyone laughed a lot, including me.
I have so many sweet memories of these 3 ladies who influenced me. And I am thankful that they were part of my life. From a daughter’s / granddaughter’s point of view, they were great ladies who each left something of themselves in me. And from a mother’s / grandmother’s point of view, I aspire to do the same for my children and grandchildren.
A mother’s nature is generally nurturing, which fosters a strong connection between her and her children. For example, little children most often want their moms when they get hurt. Older children confide in their moms rather than their dads when they have a problem. And grown children, after they have their own children, realize what a labor of love their moms provided.
A mother typically is also unselfish, putting her family’s needs before her own. She will stay up late even when she is tired to make sure that her family is well cared for. She will give her child the last piece of cake, even though she was dreaming of having it all day. And if money is tight, a mom will opt for that toy her child wanted rather than the bracelet she had her eye on.
A mother is many things. But most of all, a mother is loving. Her family is vitally important to her and her love for them is pretty much unconditional. Oh, she can get angry and stay mad for a while, but that doesn’t change the love she has. Even when her children are grown and live far away, she can still feel their tug on her heartstrings.
All mothers fall short and make mistakes. Yet our mothers still hold a special place in our hearts. Even if your relationship with your mother is less than ideal; even if your mother doesn’t demonstrate all the qualities that you think she should, you still love her. And whether you realize it or not, she loves you.
We all are moving so fast these days that the niceties of life sometimes get left in the dust. Having a day set aside to express thankfulness to our mothers is not a bad thing. Most mothers don’t demand recognition, so it’s up to the children to slow down for a moment and say, “thank you” or “I love you”. Because even though she doesn’t demand it, a mother still needs to hear it. If a mother never receives recognition or appreciation, her heart can grow weary; and it will eventually break. But even a small gesture of genuine appreciation is greatly rewarding.
Being a mom, I can honestly say that an expression of appreciation doesn’t require a gift or a card or even a special day, although all those things are always welcomed. A mother’s heart is easily melted by a kind word of gratitude. An unsolicited phone call or even a text can make her day. Regardless of how busy you are, take a minute to show your mom that she is loved. And if you are blessed with having her close by, give her a hug – I guarantee you she will appreciate it.
Note to my readers: I singled out moms for this post because of the recent holiday. I know that dads are important too. They’ll get their recognition in June. God bless you. Thanks for reading,