Category: General Writing

In Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s poem, The Rainy Day, there is a line which says, “Into each life some rain must fall.”  This has been one of my mottos for a long time because it has rained in my life.  There have been deluges and drizzles; there have been thunderstorms and showers. 

We know that rain isn’t always bad.  Ask any farmer.  Rain is necessary for growing our food.  It is a very welcomed relief after a drought.  Did you ever play in a summer shower as a kid? Remember splashing in puddles and running through raindrops?  It was even better than the sprinkler!  We appreciate these kinds of rain; but what about the storms?

We cannot always control the weather in our lives any more than we can control the actual weather.  And just like the actual weather, storms happen, which on occasion could be quite devastating.  But as we have learned to deal with the actual weather, we can learn to deal with our personal weather as well. 

The first step in dealing with a storm is being prepared.  In actual weather, we collect the proper gear to mitigate the effects of the storm.  From umbrellas to emergency generators, we try to be prepared.  We also take precautions, like closing windows, (especially in our cars!). 

For our personal storms, the proper gear is in our minds. We must collect the thoughts necessary to effectively alleviate the impacts of a storm on our lives.  We take the precaution of having a positive thought pattern ready to use before a storm hits.  This positive pattern is developed by putting the proper constructive thoughts in our minds over and over until they become our habitual way of thinking.  It is a pattern of expecting the best instead of the worst; of having confidence instead of doubt; of trusting instead of worrying; and of clinging to faith instead of fear.  When this faith-based way of thinking is our habit, we will be prepared for any storm. 

In addition, gear must be maintained.  Periodic maintenance of the generator or replacing a tattered umbrella helps keep us ready for actual inclement weather.  Maintaining our positive thought pattern is also necessary for our personal weather.  Negative thoughts are so prevalent in the world today that if we are lax about protecting our positive attitude, negative thoughts will slip in and overshadow it.  Maintaining our positive thought pattern requires our regular attention.

In actual weather, we have learned to recognize a storm’s warning signs.  Our experience has taught us that when the sky is full of clouds and grows dark, it’s probably going to rain.  Recognizing these signs helps us determine what actions we should take.      

Our personal storms may also have warning signs.  We may have experiences or insights that help us recognize that something is wrong.  When we heed these warnings, we can build ourselves up and be guided by our positive thoughts so that we can have a good course of action. 

Think about an actual thunderstorm.  How do you deal with it?  You seek shelter, hunker down, and ride it out.  It might be a little scary and maybe you lose power or sustain some property damage.  But overall, your attitude is, “It’s a storm and it will pass.  I’ve been through this before”.

The same should be our attitude in a personal thunderstorm.  In the middle of it, we might be afraid.  But our experience tells us that it will end, and we will be okay, so we can put away that fear.  With the expectation that “this too shall pass”, we can get ourselves back on track in short order. 

What about the times when it’s overcast and drizzly for days at a time?  Those times aren’t necessarily scary or dangerous, just annoying and gloomy.  I think, though, that these drizzly times in our personal lives can be particularly bothersome.  Frustration can overwrite our positive attitude before we realize it.  These are the times when humor might be a good remedy.  It is important to be able to laugh in the face of annoyance rather than get angry; and smile at the gloom rather than get discouraged.

I was privileged to aid in the relief efforts following Hurricane Katrina.  There was widespread devastation and destruction, the likes of which I had never seen before.  However, we did not focus on the destruction, we focused on the rebuilding.   We did not focus on the loss, we focused on the restoration.  That doesn’t mean that the devastation and destruction were ignored.  It means that people were met with compassion and encouragement for the future.

There may come a time when we experience a personal hurricane in our lives.  Recovery must be our focus in that situation as well.  We cannot dwell on the devastation.   We can shed our tears and allow ourselves the necessary time to heal, then we must look ahead and determine that we WILL get through this circumstance.  We can rely on our habit pattern of positive faith-based thinking to facilitate our success.  And by working through the situation instead of giving up, we can add patience, endurance, and courage to our thought habits.  As was needed in the aftermath of Katrina, we may need help.  We should not be afraid to ask for it, remembering always that prayer is key.  Then once we have recovered, we can add fortitude, thankfulness, rejoicing and victory to our repertoire.

“Into each life some rain must fall” may be true, but it doesn’t have to defeat us.  We may not be able to prevent the rain from falling, but we can be prepared for it by collecting and maintaining the proper thoughts.  We can deal with the effects of the rain by utilizing our positive-thought habit pattern.  And when devasting storms knock us down, we can recover by sticking to our faith.

No matter what storms come through our lives, we must never give up.  In Longfellow’s poem, he recognized this by saying, “Behind the clouds is the sun still shining”.  Remember that it is light shining through the rain that makes a rainbow.  And don’t forget – you and God make a majority.  You can do this!

Note to my readers:  Thank you so much for taking this journey with me.  It is definitely a work in progress!  I hope my blogs will continue to bless you and give you a breath of fresh air each week.  Please check back on Fridays for new installments and feel free to send me comments on the “Contact Me” page.  (I don’t know if the comments tab works – I’m still learning this computer stuff.)  

And please, if you like this blog, tell your friends.

We are all wonderfully unique with many marvelous qualities.  Yet, it seems that many of us share a common misconception that our most important quality is the way we look.  Because of that, we are overly critical of our appearance, and often dissatisfied with our looks.  This need not be!

Science says that beauty is linked to symmetry.  Instinctually, the more symmetrical, the more pleasing to the eye. However, even though we may have this built-in instinct, our thought processes are much more complex than that. Many factors are involved in our perception of beauty.  And that is what I want to talk about, particularly with regard to how we perceive ourselves. 

Our physical appearance basically boils down to genetics.  Go back as many generations as you want, and each parent of a parent of a parent lent some genetic material that resulted in you.  Now, I know that is overly simplistic, but think about it.  You didn’t choose your looks, an egg and sperm determined that for you and for your parents, and for their parents and so on.  Your nose that you might think is too big or your eyes you wish were a different color or that crooked smile were all handed down to you by generations of your family.  We are all products of our heritage in many ways, including our physical attributes.  When you look at yourself, do you see the beautiful reflection of the history of your family living their lives and making their choices?   Often our lineage offers us examples of fortitude and achievement, which we respect.   Why shouldn’t we be proud of their genes as well?  

But even if we accept and appreciate that we look the way we do because of our ancestors, we are still faced with our experiential perception of ourselves.  And that could be unkind to us.  Remember that boy in 4^th grade who called you ugly?  What about those girls in high school who excluded you or made fun of you?  Perhaps even a loved one said some callous words in jest or in anger.  The hurt from any of these kinds of experiences can get lodged in our minds and tear us down in own eyes.  Don’t let it!  Past is passed!  We can’t change it, but we can put it away.  Lock it up in the ‘trunk of useless thoughts’ and throw away the key.  We do not need to harbor thoughts that hurt us.  Replace them with positive thoughts.  It’s just as simple to choose a positive thought as it is to choose a negative thought in any category, even in this one.  It may take a little more work to hold on to the positive thoughts because we are so used to the negative ones, but putting forth the effort is well worth it.

In addition, society has dictated a standard for what is called beautiful. And that standard so completely permeates our culture, that it is difficult to baulk against it. We are bombarded with images that we are told we should look like.  And frequently, it can be detrimental to us because we know we will never look like that.  But for some reason, we still continue to compare ourselves to that standard.  Whose standard is it anyway?  And why do we torment ourselves striving to attain some enigmatic standard?  

Society’s benchmark is set by some very symmetrical movie stars and models.  That’s ok.  We enjoy looking at them.  But the problem is that we somehow (intentionally or unintentionally) are made to feel inferior or second rate because we don’t match their symmetrical criteria.  Whether we do it to ourselves or the pressure of society does it to us, it is a trick that we have succumb to.  We cannot control society’s standard, but we can control our perceptions. 

Why not make your own standard?  Strip away the worldly attitudes and look at yourself in the mirror.  Do you see someone who is the product of the love that your ancestors had to have children who would have children and so forth until you?  If so, see their courage in your eyes.  Wear that nose as a badge of honor.  Do you see a good person?  A kind person?  A generous person?  A loving person?  Those are some of the qualities that make one truly beautiful, not some other person’s opinion nor a standard that society has adopted.

When we are beautiful inside, it will show through to the outside.  And it will be true beauty, long lasting beauty, and the kind of beauty that comes from a deeply meaningful reality.  Our standard should be one of love and faith.  And since the Bible says, “the greatest of these is love”, why not focus on that one?  Allowing that reality to be our standard will open our eyes to what is genuinely beautiful, not only in ourselves but also in others. 

To be clear, I’m not saying that we don’t need to take care of ourselves.  Like any other possession of value, we should take care of our physical bodies.  Health and hygiene are vitally important.  And there is nothing wrong with putting our best foot forward.  A flattering hairstyle, well-fitting clothes and maybe some make-up can not only show us in our best light, but also help us feel good about our appearance. 

My mom always used to say, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”.  As a young girl, I interpreted that in light of people looking at me and I desperately hoped it was true.  When I became a mother, I interpreted it in light of me looking at my children (and then at my grandchildren) and I knew that it was true.  Now, I endeavor to be a person who is beautiful on the inside and allow that beauty to be what I behold in myself.  I can’t say whether that has changed anyone else’s perception of me, but it has changed mine.

Behold your own beauty – inside and out; and let it shine for all to see! 

I am average and that’s ok.  Most of us are, and it’s not a bad thing.  There will always be someone you see as better looking than you, more talented, or smarter.  There will always be someone richer, or more successful.  And the converse is also true.  There will always be people who look at you as being better looking or more talented, or smarter than they are.  There will always be people needier or struggling harder than you.  So why not embrace average?  Why not focus on your own successes, your own talents, your own accomplishments?  Don’t drag yourself down by measuring yourself against someone else’s success or wealth.  And don’t become arrogant by comparing yourself to someone less fortunate.  Recognize yourself for who you are with all your pluses and minuses and work hard to make the world a little bit better place because you’re in it.

Average does not mean, ‘not good enough’ and we must never allow that phrase to define us.  Average simply means that there are some people who can do things better than we can, and there are some people who don’t do things as well as we do.  It means that there are people who have had opportunities that we have not, and there are people who haven’t had the breaks that we’ve received. 

Average also implies balance. We live our lives between the extremes.  We are not the richest people in the world nor are we in the deepest poverty, (and it is likely that we will never be either). Our lives are simple and complicated, easy and hard, upbeat and downtrodden, happy and sad; but we do our best to manage the highs and the lows.  We recognize that both will happen and we pick ourselves up at the low times and appreciate the high times with thankfulness.  We strive for even keel rather than roller coaster.

Average means that we don’t expend all of our time and energy chasing after super-stardom, or truckloads of money. We’re not consumed with thoughts of power or wealth.   We find satisfaction in the love of our families, the closeness of our friendships and the successes of our day to day accomplishments. 

Average does not mean that we settle for mediocre or that we are lazy.  Our days are filled with challenges that we don’t shy away from.  We have responsibilities and obligations that we conscientiously seek to satisfy.  We may have people who depend on us or jobs that count on our contributions, and we attend to those charges with dedication and commitment. 

And finally, average does not mean that we are not special.  We ALL are very special in many ways!  We all have something to offer, something that can make the world a better place, and we understand that true change happens one person at a time. By touching even one life, we have made a difference.  We all are as unique as snowflakes with a multiplicity of talents and that’s what we bring to the table.  We are special because of who we are, and what we give.  We are special because we are fearfully and wonderfully made by a loving God.

So the next time you look in the mirror and see an average person, rejoice.  For you are seeing someone who can change the world one person at a time by simply sharing your love.  Average blends our strength and our patience together so that we can face our challenges and succeed. 

Average folks are the backbone of our country.  You are in good company.

Be the best average person you can be!