Author: terriplace89

I bought a birthday card for my son that mentioned the stages of a child’s life.  So, of course I began to reflect on the stages of all my kids’ lives.  There were good times and bad times, ups and downs, easy stages and difficult ones.  But now, each one of my children fills my heart with pride and admiration.  They are terrific adults.

People go through many stages from infancy to adulthood.  Life is always a work in progress.  We are ever learning, ever growing, and ever changing.  And this process continues throughout every stage of life.  In remembering the stages of my kids’ lives, I am reminded of my own life, and the stories I’ve heard from family and friends.  So many memories, so much life and it all took place in stages.

Infancy is the beginning – the first stage.  Newborn babies are basically clean slates.  They are born knowing nothing of the outside world.  They respond to sensations in their bodies, and some external stimulation.  They recognize discomfort – like hungry, tired, or cold; and they know that they don’t like those things!  And that’s about all they know.  Newborns have one way of communicating – crying.

As babies grow, parents introduce more stimuli – the sound of their voices, the feel of their embrace, the routine of their lives.  Babies learn that their parents are the source of their care and comfort.  As parents talk to their babies, they begin to learn more ways of communicating.  Is there anything more precious than a baby cooing or laughing?  There was a video circulating online of a dad making his baby laugh over and over by tearing a piece of paper.  I could have watched it all day because the sound of that laughter tickled my heart.  At the opposite end, I was told a long time ago that the sound of babies crying is buried as a subliminal sound in scary movies because it is so unnerving to the adult ear.  I believe it.  There is nothing better than hearing a baby laughing and nothing worse than hearing one crying. 

As babies grow physically, their motor skills develop.  Generally, parents welcome every new ability.  Rolling over, sitting up, walking and talking are all major milestones in a baby’s growth.  These skills are not only welcomed, but also lauded.  Here is an interesting sidelight, however – parents are usually very anxious for their first child to accomplish all these milestones, but sometimes not so much for their second.  Why?  Because they realize that babies grow up so fast, they want the chance to savor this baby stage again in their second child as long as possible. 

Then comes toddlerhood.  Children’s learning and growing progress at an alarming rate of speed in this stage.  And another thing happens – children’s wills begin to develop.  You may have heard the term, “terrible twos”.  That phrase was coined because around two years old, children often become obstinate or self-willed.  First-time parents may find this particularly difficult as they may not be prepared for this battle of the wills.  But it is a natural part of growing up.  A friend told me once that a stubborn child grows up into an adult with convictions.  I don’t know if that’s true, but it helped me to deal with the battles.  Other parts of toddlerhood are fun and entertaining.  Children are beginning to express themselves in various ways, which are often humorous.  They are also learning how to function, and that can be very entertaining as well. 

The pre-school years were some of my favorites.  Children have an innocence that is very enjoyable in this stage.  Communications between parents and children become more engaging.  Children are inquisitive and anxious to learn.  They want to hear what their parents have to say.  (This is not necessarily true in later stages!)  Parents have a great opportunity in this stage to teach their children the values that they want them to have.  Family and close friends remain the dominant role models during these years, and bonds are solidified. 

Then come the school years.  These years have definite effects on every child’s life. School years advance in increasing complexity.  In Elementary School, life is simple, and the challenges are not too difficult to handle.  Family ties are still strong, but outside influences do begin to show up in children’s conversations and behavior.  Now, not all outside influences are bad, some are welcomed additions to children’s experiences.  Battling unwelcome influences, however, is an ongoing concern.  But that fight is more manageable during the Elementary School stage than in later stages.

In the Junior High stage, challenges can become more problematic for various reasons, but one of the biggest impacts is a little thing called hormones. ☹ Jr. High challenges are often accompanied by peer pressures and/or contrary attitudes.  Children’s lives become complicated and difficult in their own eyes; and they may tend to avoid parental advice.  This stage rolls right into the High School stage where all these things may seem to be multiplied and magnified.  By the High School stage, children might begin to resist or resent parental influence.  They might even decide that they are smarter than their parents.  They want to spread their wings and fly into adulthood unfettered by rules or restrictions (or reality).  These years can be difficult for both parents and children.  I will say though, that I have many marvelous memories of my kids’ high school years, but some not so good ones too.

The next stage is young adulthood. After High School, children may head off to college or into the workforce.  Either way, children are developing their own lives and securing their own futures.  They will make many decisions without counsel from their parents and determine for themselves in what direction they want to proceed.  This is an exciting stage for young people but might be a trying one for parents as they must step back and let go. 

Children eventually become full-blown adults with their own lives and families.  It may have taken many stages for them to get to that point, but suddenly (it seems) our children are no longer children.  (Yet they will always be our babies!)  We watch them go through a lot of the stages that we went through.  We offer assistance and advice when we can.  But we allow our children the opportunity to experience their own stages, just like we did. 

Reflecting on my children’s lives as well as my own, I see that each stage builds on the last and each stage results in our being a little wiser.  In these few general stages that I have listed, there are usually many sub-stages and side trips.  But all these things work together to give us the lives that we have right now.  All the stages, whether good or bad, have taught us something.  It is up to us to learn from both.  We must determine for ourselves what we do with all that learning.  We must be willing to admit when we’re wrong and be enthusiastic with our apologies.  We do not gloat over our successes nor compare ourselves to others.  We must remember that all these things result in growth and wisdom.  (eventually)

I love learning new things.  I laugh when I learn something that I should have known a long time ago – like using scissors to cut artichoke leaves.  Who knew??  I may resist change at times, but I’m always happier when the changes are made.  I’m quite aware that I’m not perfect, and I try not to beat myself up too much when I make mistakes.  I have no problem saying, “I’m sorry,” or “I need help.”  I seek to see the good in people and to bless folks whenever I can.  These are all things that I have learned through the many stages of my life. 

Stages come and stages go, but there is one constant through all of them – and that is God.  No matter what stage we are in, or watching our children in, God gives us the strength we need to weather the storms and He provides the victory for our rejoicing.  He helps us stand, He guides our steps, He picks us up when we fall.  He never leaves us, nor forsakes us.  (Hebrews 13:5) 

Stages are merely steppingstones in our lives; one leads to the next.  And God is right there with us every step of the way.  We can claim His exceeding great and precious promises in ANY and EVERY stage of life. 

Note to my readers:  Enjoy whatever stage of life you’re in and look forward to the next one.  Thanks for reading. 

Recently, my son and his family visited for spring break.  Florida is a popular spring break destination, and even more so when you don’t have to pay for a hotel.  I love that.  I bet I look forward to spring break as much as the kids do!  It’s an enticing proposition for my family to come here since it’s not really warm up north yet.

My son’s visit was wonderfully enjoyable.  I was sad when it ended.  And this got me thinking about family ties.  There is a bond, a closeness that most families share.  It stretches across the miles, and absence only strengthens it.  Even if families don’t get along all the time, that bond remains an underlying link between them. 

No two families are alike.  And no two members of any family are alike.  This presents an interesting dynamic because these different people must learn to live together as a family.  Think about it…  It starts when two people from different families decide to get married.  They have a lovely wedding, an exciting honeymoon, then they must learn to live together and make a life for themselves.  As well as they thought they knew each other, beginning life together is an adjustment.  Two unique people from two unique upbringings must meld together and become a new family.  This is not an easy task.  But people do it every day.  It’s a process that takes work and time.  There must be compromise and a willingness to change.  It also involves putting selfishness aside.

Ephesians 5:31 – For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

During this process, these two different people from different backgrounds, with different ideas, and different opinions, may decide that they want a child.  So, they have a baby, and this precious newborn adds a whole new set of challenges to their lives.  Diverging opinions can resurface because of different upbringings.  Stress may build from unanticipated newborn pressures and sleep deprivation.  It is not an easy task.  But some people do it multiple times! 😊 

Every stage of raising children offers its own set of challenges because as previously stated, no two members of any family are alike.  As children grow, they are exposed to outside influences, which play a role in their forming their own opinions.  And these opinions may be contrary to their parents’ opinions.  When children are young, parents can guard and direct the information their children receive.  But as children grow, go to school, make friends etc., they start to develop their own ideas outside their parents’ sphere of influence.  It takes consistent work for parents to instill the proper values that they want their children to have, while allowing them to learn and grow on their own.  It is not an easy task.  But parents know it’s necessary.

Teenagers are driven to express their independence.  They may disagree with their parents just for the sake of disagreeing.  They so badly want to be grown-ups, but without the responsibilities entailed.  Stress may build from unanticipated teenager pressures and sleep deprivation. It is not an easy task.  But people do it and survive it every day.  (And if you have teenagers at home now, my prayers are with you.)

Rearing children is not only a challenging endeavor, but also one of the most satisfying things people can do.  What a privilege it is to be an integral part of a child’s development into adulthood!  It is a daunting responsibility, but seeing a child grow into a conscientious adult makes the struggles and the stresses worth every minute.  It is a rewarding task.  And people do it every day! 

All of this is to say that it may seem illogical to combine two very different people into “one flesh”, but God instituted that relationship.  God compares the husband/wife relationship to Christ’s relationship with the church.  And to add new souls to that “one flesh” may seem completely overwhelming, but having children is also God’s design.  Families are a vital part of life.  God intended people to be together in families.  He wanted that relationship to be an example of His relationship with us.  He is our Father, and we are His kids. 

A friend of mine said in a Bible teaching, “Families take work because there are people in families and people are messy.  And there are kids in families and kids are really messy.”  This is true for our earthly families and for God’s heavenly family as well.  We are all different and we all are messy.  We all have our good qualities and our not so good qualities.  We have our ups and downs.  But there is one thing that takes care of it all and that is LOVE.  The tie that binds any family together is love.  And the greatest love is God’s love.  In 1 Corinthians 13, it says; “And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.”  (Charity is the love of God.) 

Love covers for our shortcomings and mends our broken hearts.  Love heals our wounds and builds us up.  Love supports us and helps us to be victorious in all our endeavors.  It is our commitment to loving our families that sustains them.  Whether your earthly family is large or small, close or distant, tight or aloof, you can never go wrong by loving them.  No one can ever get too much love!! 

Note to my readers: Sending my love to you, my family of readers.  Thanks for reading!! 

If you read my previous post regarding the puppy, you may remember I promised that I would update the status of the situation in a couple of months.  So here goes. 

The biggest learning curve for me has been learning to change my mind.  This adventure was not my idea, and all my objections were overruled.  So, I needed to change my mind, accept the situation and make it work. Sometimes we can find ourselves in situations that we cannot prevent or change, and our only choice is to change is our thinking.  I doubt that I am the only person who finds it difficult to change my mind at times, so maybe you can relate to how hard this has been for me.   

The first step in changing our minds is to replace the old thoughts with new thoughts.  So instead of thinking how much I did NOT want to raise a puppy at this time, I had to start thinking, what could I do to raise a good puppy?  I replaced resentful thoughts with charitable ones.  And I sought to find positives that I could keep in my mind.  (She is really cute!)  However, it is still a work in progress!

A puppy is a full-time responsibility and affects everything in your life in some way.  So, besides remembering to pray a lot, the next thing I needed to learn was how to fit the puppy into my lifestyle – and not to fit me into the puppy’s lifestyle.  This meant that I had to continue with my daily routine and not cater to the puppy’s whims.  Oh, I have to stop what I’m doing and take her outside to “get busy” from time to time, but for the most part, I do everything I need to do, and she naps or follows me around.  But I must always keep an awareness of what she is doing because if she is left unsupervised for a time, she might be chewing the furniture, eating a towel or trying to dig a hole in the wood floor.  (All of which, she has tried at least once.)

I do need to walk her, but that is as good for me as it is for her.  I am meeting more neighbors and getting some more exercise.  She loves her walks, but she is afraid of big dogs, and there have been occasions that I had to carry her because of that. 

We taught her to ring the sleigh bells on the door handle when she needs to go out and “get busy”, but she has learned that she can ring the bells whenever she just wants to go outside and play.  She is readily obedient – when it suits her!  She thinks it’s great fun to run away from us when we are trying to catch her, and she often does not come when she is called.  She thinks everyone is her playmate and jumping on them is part of the game.  She loves to eat grass, leaves, sticks, rocks, dirt, Spanish moss, you name it.  She barks like crazy whenever one of us leaves the house, or when she is trying to get her way.  The trainer told us to ignore her when she barks like that.  And that we should even turn our backs to her, because that would hurt her feelings and she wouldn’t like that. 

Late one afternoon, while I was preparing dinner, I wouldn’t give her what I was making, and she started barking.  So, I turned my back toward her.  Then she ran around to where I was facing and barked more.  And I turned away from her again and she ran to my front again.  This happened two more times before she finally stopped barking.  (there has never been a question that she is smart!)  It only takes a couple turns now before she stops barking.  I will add to my story that even the trainer was amazed at how loud and shrill her bark is. It gives new meaning to the term, ‘piercing your ears’!

She still has much learning to do and so do we.  We can’t give in and allow her to misbehave, and we can’t expect her to behave without being trained.  So, the work continues.  The next step in changing my mind has been to keep my eyes on the goal.  I remind myself that repetition is a key to learning.  And both the puppy and I are still learning.  I cannot slack off in my training efforts and I cannot get angry when she doesn’t obey.  Learning often doesn’t pay off right away but the fruit becomes apparent in time.  Eyes on the goal!  Time spent now will pay off later! 

And like I said in my previous post, I like dogs as much as the next person, and there are times that I just love having the puppy around.  She is cute, playful and smart.  I remind myself to stay focused on her good qualities.  I mean really isn’t that the way we successfully change our minds?  Focus on the positives and refute the negatives.  And I know that once these few wrong behaviors are corrected, she will become a nice addition to our lives. 

The last part of changing my mind is to believe that I can do this.  I know that the puppy is here to stay.  So, the only option I have is to make the situation the best it can be.  I must accept the extra effort involved in training and caring for a puppy and make it as much a part of my daily routine as cooking and cleaning.  I don’t fight doing those things, they are “just what I do”.  And being a dog owner has to become, “just what I do” too. 

The Bible talks about us being transformed by the renewing of our minds.  (Romans 12:2)  Renewing the mind is basically changing your thoughts.  Biblically it is replacing worldly thoughts with Godly thoughts.  When we do that, we will be transformed like a caterpillar changes into a beautiful butterfly. 

In practical application, we can use that principle to change our thinking from negative thoughts to positive ones; like from “I don’t want a dog right now” into “I’m going to do what it takes to have the best dog ever.”  Change is seldom instantaneous.  More often than not, it is the result of a faithful effort to embrace new thoughts.  It is accomplished by repeatedly refuting the undesirable information and replacing it with the information that we want to have.  And the process takes time.    

So, the puppy and I are figuring each other out.  She is learning that we are both happier when she does what she is supposed to do.  And she is learning to behave so that she is not a constant burden.  I am learning to be more patient and to accept my new role as a puppy parent.  With God’s continual help, I can do this!  And so can she.

Note to my readers:  To all of you who just love, love, love your dogs, I look forward to being one of you.  Thanks for reading. 

I’ve been thinking… It is easy to do the things that we WANT to do.  Now, you may be thinking, “Wow, Terri, that is a profound statement – not.”   And I would agree.  But let’s explore this a bit further. 

Consider… Do you want to eat?  With few exceptions, the answer is probably yes.  Does anyone need to twist your arm to make you eat?   Unless you are a small child, it usually doesn’t take much coercion for us to sit down to a good meal.  It’s easy to eat because we want to do it.  And one reason that we want to do it is because we like to do it.  (In fact, some of us may really like to eat.  So eating is too easy to do!)  Not eating on the other hand, is often not what we want to do, so it takes more effort.  Hence, dieting can be difficult. 

We all have things that we need to do whether we want to or not.  Chores or activities that are necessary to maintain our lifestyle cannot go undone.  Part of growing up is learning how to do those things.  Do we like to do all those things?  Probably not.  So consequently, we might tend to do the things that we want to do because we like doing those things.  And we may struggle to do the things that we don’t want to do because we don’t like doing those.  For instance, I hate washing the floors.  I procrastinate doing that chore as long as I can.  It isn’t easy for me to wash the floors because I don’t want to do it.  On the other hand, I love to rearrange my nick-nacks.  I do that all the time because I want to. 

Think about our jobs.  Whether we are gainfully employed or work at other endeavors, we all have work to do.  Do we want to do it?  Probably yes and no.  I was blessed because I liked all my jobs.  It wasn’t hard to get up every morning and go into the office because I wanted to.  My husband, however, has had a few jobs that he did not like.  It was not easy for him to go to work because the environment was so stressful.  And nobody wants to put themselves in a stressful situation. 

What about our relationships, especially with family and friends?  Our wellbeing is enriched by those relationships.  When our relationships flourish, we flourish.  So, how do relationships flourish?  By working at them.  When a relationship is brand new, people often WANT to make it work.  It is easy for them to put forth the effort to develop the relationship because that is what they want to do.  Unfortunately, in the long-term, people can become complacent and no longer want to work at a relationship. Since that work is no longer easy, the effort might wane, and the relationship gradually becomes hollow.  (Our relationship with God can also fall prey to our lack of effort if we are not careful.)

In all these examples I think we can see that it is easy to do the things that we WANT to do and it more difficult to do the things that we don’t want to do.  However, there are many things in life that we must do regardless of whether we want to or not.  So, what’s the answer?

Well, the simple answer is to learn to want to do those things that we don’t like.  Ok. How?

Of course, the first key to our success is asking for God’s help.  The Bible promises that when we seek God first, He will supply what we need.  (Matthew 6:33)  We will never be poorer for keeping God first in our hearts and minds.  He can guide our steps through any situation.  And He can help us master the responsibilities that we do not like to do.  Doesn’t it make sense that we are stronger with God’s help than we are without it?

In all my years of washing floors, I’ve never learned to like doing it.  BUT I have learned that I like clean floors!  When I keep my eyes on that goal, I want to wash my floors.  So, the next key is being goal oriented.  Goals are things that we WANT to achieve.  If our focus remains on the goal and not on the task of getting to it, we will be more apt to want to complete the work. 

In the case of stressful situations, sometimes we cannot avoid those.  The world can be a crummy place.  Some people think that they just need to ‘accept’ these kinds of situations as part of life.  I disagree.  We may not be able to control every situation in our lives, but we do not need to ‘accept’ the negatives.  Instead, we refute them.  In the case of my husband’s unnecessarily stressful jobs, he steeled his resolve and did what he needed to do until he could remedy the situation by getting a new job.  So, another key is recognizing that, “this too shall pass.”  We don’t give in or give up; we work through negative situations until we achieve the success that we want. 

Relationships can be a little trickier because they involve another person, who also has free will.  We cannot make others think like we do or behave in a certain way.  We can communicate the thoughts of our hearts to them, but what they do with that information is up to them.  In an unselfish relationship, each person wants to bless the other, so their actions are aimed in that direction.  Selfishness is almost always at the root of a struggling relationship.  So, we can add unselfishness to our list of keys.

A friend shared this saying with me, “Your energy flows where your attention goes.”  So, it seems to me that if we put our attention in the right place, our energy will lead us to success in that endeavor.   And success breeds success. 

This indeed only scratches the surface of things we can do to help ourselves accomplish the things that we WANT in our lives.  By seeking God first, focusing on our goals, fighting through the hard times, and being unselfish, we can open the doors to a successful life of doing the things we like and liking the things we do. 

Note to my readers:  Thank you for wanting to read my blog! 

Well, it happened again.  Another birthday!  Why do birthdays come more frequently now that I’m older than they did when I was a kid?  I remember there being an eternity between birthdays as a child.  And nowadays, every time I turn around, another birthday has come and gone! 

I did a lot of reflecting on my birthday this year. Not about age, but about friends.  I will explain…

I received more greetings for my birthday this year than I remember receiving before.  Perhaps, I just appreciated them more than I ever have. Whichever…  I am not only thankful for the wonderful people who took their time to think of me on my birthday, but also humbled that they thought I warranted such remembrance.

So, I began to really think about my friends.  They are the most remarkable people!  I am proud to call them my friends (and my family).    Each one of them is unique in their own special way.  Each one adds something amazing to my life.  And I am the better for knowing all of them. 

My friends are very talented.  They are artists, musicians, writers, teachers, crafters, decorators, public speakers, health care and other industry professionals, mothers, fathers, dancers, designers, financial whizzes, chefs, and just plain smart!  I can genuinely say that I admire each one of them for their particular skills. 

In addition to their talents, my friends exhibit outstanding qualities.  They are kind, considerate, trustworthy, honest, clever, funny, bright, compassionate, strong, bold, generous, faithful, patient, industrious, uplifting, and supportive. They all embrace a positive attitude.

My friends help me, teach me, inspire me, console me, and correct me when I’m wrong (which might be more often than I care to admit).  They always manage to be there for me when I need them.  My heart thrills just hearing their voices. We laugh together often and cry together sometimes.  We rejoice in each other’s victories and share each other’s sorrows.  We love spending time together even though distance may impede our frequency.  But we know that someday that will change, and we will never have to miss each other again.

Best of all, my friends love God.  That is the biggest tie that binds us.  We share common beliefs on the most important things in life.  We endeavor to live by Biblical principles.  We love each other with God’s love.

So, to all my friends, God bless you and thank you for being my friend.  Our connection is so very important to me.  When life becomes a roller coaster, we’ll ride it together.  When the sun rises over a placid ocean, we’ll watch it together.  And when the dark night encroaches, we’ll hold each other’s hands.  We are in this thing together.  We have each other’s backs.  I am more thankful than you can imagine having you in my life.  And I yearn to be the kind of friend to you that you are to me.  I love you!! 

Note to my readers:    You are remarkable!!  ♥ Thanks for reading! 

This past Tuesday was Valentine’s Day.  People seem to have strong opinions about Valentine’s Day.  The skeptics think that it’s not a real holiday, just one made up by the greeting card companies.  And the romantics think that it is an opportunity to demonstrate all their feelings on a grand scale.  Most of us, however, are somewhere in the middle. 

The history of the holiday is rather vague, but here are some things I read about it.  There were at least three Roman Catholic “saints” named Valentine, who are credited as the namesake for the day.  All of which were martyred.  One of the legends says that a Bishop Valentine was imprisoned for helping Christians escape from Rome under the rule of Emperor Claudius II.  While in prison, Valentine fell in love with a young woman who visited him during his confinement.  It is said that right before his death, he sent her a letter and signed it, “from your Valentine”.  And so, Valentine’s Day was established to commemorate his martyrdom.

Another idea is that the Roman Catholic church instituted “Saint Valentine’s Day” to oppose the pagan holiday, Lupercalia, which was a fertility festival celebrating Faunus, the Roman god of agriculture, and Romulus and Remus, the “founders” of Rome.  This was celebrated each year on February 15.  At the end of the fifth century, Pope Gelasius officially declared February 14 as, “Saint Valentine’s Day”. 

During the Middle Ages, it was a commonly held belief that February 14 was the beginning of the mating season for birds, which led to the romantic connotation being associated with the day.  In 1375, the English poet, Geoffrey Chaucer recorded Valentine’s Day as a romantic celebration. 

Valentine’s greetings began to be exchanged in the early 1400’s among the British and French royalty. And by the 17^th century, the day had become popularly celebrated.  Around the middle of the 18^th century, it had become commonplace for friends and lovers to exchange tokens of affection or handwritten sentiments on Valentine’s Day. 

In the 1840’s Esther A. Howland began selling the first mass-produced valentines in America.  “And the rest as they say, is history.”  Today, Valentine’s Day is second only to Christmas in the number of cards exchanged. 

We may have mixed emotions regarding Valentine’s Day because of our experiences.  Perhaps for some it is a beautiful celebration of a loving relationship.  But maybe for others it’s a painful reminder of a broken heart.  Quite possibly it is some of both for most of us. 

When I was young, we celebrated the day in elementary school every year.  We made our own valentine mailboxes and decorated them as elaborately as we could.  We brought them to school and set them on our desks to receive cards from all our classmates.  We had a party with treats like homemade cupcakes or cookies and milk from the cafeteria.  We played games and had fun.  It promoted comradery and friendships in the classroom. 

However, there was the risk of hurt feelings.  Maybe that one special boy that you liked purposely didn’t put a card in your mailbox.  Or someone called your valentine mailbox “ugly”.  But isn’t that true of most things in life?   There is always a risk of hurt when feelings are involved. 

So, some boy in 4^th grade broke your heart on Valentine’s Day.  If that scarred you for life, then you must still have a 4^th grade heart.  Perhaps you should strive for a more age-appropriate heart??  Also consider; if we had never experienced a broken heart, how would we learn what it takes to recover from one?  And more importantly, how would we learn not to break someone else’s heart?  All the ups and downs, hurts and healings, good and bad of youth, help teach us how to become who we want to be as adults, and how to avoid being who we don’t want to be. 

Maybe you had a broken heart as an adult.  Did you recover from it?  Then you can help someone who has a broken heart now.  Do you have a broken heart now?  Seek someone who has been where you are, for they probably can help you heal.  A broken heart can be a ‘lemons into lemonade’ type of situation. 

I don’t mean to oversimplify a broken heart.  I know it can be a devastating blow.  A callous betrayal, a cruel conflict, a losing battle can pierce us to our very soul.  But with God’s help, even the most shattered heart can be put back together. 

Jeremiah 32:27

Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh: is there any thing too hard for me?

This is one of my favorite verses.  Is there anything too hard for the Creator of the heavens and the earth – the God of all flesh??  He made everything including us.  Don’t you think He knows how to take care of everything, including us? 

Do you remember the scripture that says, “Jesus wept.” (John 11:35)?  He cried because he saw the pain that Mary and Martha were experiencing because of the death of their brother, Lazarus.  And his heart was hurting also because Lazarus was his friend.  That was definitely a heart-breaking event.  Think of how his heart must have been utterly crushed by Judas’ betrayal.  Jesus was acquainted with the pain of a broken heart. 

We all probably know that “by his stripes we were healed” is the promise of physical healing.  We also know that Jesus Christ’s death and resurrection paid the price for our redemption.  But do we expect that we can be released from our emotional pains?  Well, we can.  Jesus Christ was and is our COMPLETE savior.  He felt all our pains and paid the price for them ALL.  So, if Valentine’s Day makes you sad, you can change that by casting that sadness to God and accepting your heart’s healing that Jesus Christ made available. 

Now, if Valentine’s Day makes you happy – hooray!  Enjoy!  Take the opportunity to show someone how much you love them.  Send cards, get flowers, eat chocolates.  Demonstrate your feelings.  Take advantage of what the day provides.  Why not?  And if you are the recipient of such demonstrations, be grateful.

If Valentine’s Day is just another day in your book, that’s ok.  There is no obligation to recognize this tradition.  It’s a personal choice.  But I will say that anytime we can bless someone by showing them a kindness or letting them know that they are loved is a worthwhile endeavor.  So, if you choose to do that on Valentine’s Day, it can’t be a bad thing!  I might even go so far as to say, why not make every day Valentine’s Day?  We don’t need to limit our appreciation of others to one day a year.  And we don’t need to confine our admiration to the giving of a heart-shaped box of chocolates.  Let’s seek opportunities to help and bless whoever we can, whenever we can.  Let’s be the beacons of God’s love every day, all year! 

Note to my readers:  I hope your Valentine’s Day was a happy one.  Actually, I hope all your days are happy ones!  Surely love you and thank God for you!  Thanks for reading.

I recently saw a video that a young woman posted online about the horrors of having a job.  Restraining tears, she ranted about the inhuman treatment that people expected her to endure because she had to get up at the crack of dawn to go to a workplace that was cold and had fluorescent lighting, and not only that; she had to spend eight whole hours of her day in that tortuous environment.  Furthermore, she was expected to do this FIVE times a week!  “Oh, the humanity!”  

We might laugh at the absurdity of this video; but what if this is not an uncommon way of thinking for young people?  Has the latest generation gotten so weak and lazy that they can’t imagine even a 40-hour work week in an office?  My generation is scratching its head.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that my generation had it so hard.  We missed the Great Depression and World War that our parents endured.  But we do know how to work! 

In July of 1945, (which was before my time, by the way) a military aircraft hit the Empire State Building in New York City.  A very foggy Saturday morning is blamed for the accident.  The plane hit the building around the 79^th floor.  Upon impact, the plane’s fuel exploded and several parts of the aircraft, including the engines, were strewn through the building and into nearby structures.  Fourteen people were killed. 

I read an account of that event written by one of workers who was in the building that morning on a lower floor.  Since it was a Saturday, there were fewer people than normal in the building, but there were still quite a few people working.  She recounted her fright and the confusion surrounding the event.  While down on the sidewalk after being evacuated, she saw her boss who had come to check out the situation.  She assured him that his staff was accounted for and safe, and he reminded her that they would have to make up their lost hours. 

That seems rather harsh to me, but it wasn’t out of the ordinary at that time. Can you image that in this day and time?  I can hear it now… “A SIX-day work week?  Are you kidding me?”  Or “Make up my time?  That’s inhuman! You’ll be hearing from my attorney!”   My, how much attitudes have changed over the years!

Now, I think the balance lies somewhere between the two examples.  It seems unreasonable to require someone to make up their time lost due to an airplane hitting their place of employment.  But ranting on the internet about being expected to work 40 hours a week – seriously??  All of this got me thinking – why do we work? 

If I did a survey, probably most people’s answer to the question would be, “To make money”.  We all understand that.  Our society is based on a monetary system.  For the most part, we no longer barter, nor are we independently self-sufficient.  So, we need to work to make money in order to function in society. However, this system has a major flaw – GREED. 

Money itself is not inherently bad, but the Bible is clear that the love of money is.  Whenever money is involved, the temptation to love it is there and people can become greedy.  Of course, there is nothing wrong with working hard and earning a good living.  I have the utmost respect for those who do that when their heart is in the right place.  But working solely to amass great wealth is loving money and the Bible calls that “the root of all evil”.  And doesn’t that seem so prevalent in our society today?  Think about this also.  Isn’t expecting to be rich without doing any work also a form of loving money?  Both attitudes are completely selfish. 

If gaining money were the ONLY reason to work, then money would be the principal thing and God wouldn’t admonish us not to love it.  But the Bible does warn us not to fall into that trap.  God’s Word encourages us that whatever work we do, we should do it heartily as unto the Lord. (Colossians 3:23)  So that tells me that the Lord must be the principal thing – NOT money.

And indeed, the Lord is the principal thing in our lives.  When we look to God as our sufficiency, He takes care of our needs.  He provides the increase.  When we recognize Him in all that we do, He will open the windows of heaven and pour blessings upon us.  (Malachi 3:10)  If we put our trust in money, we will never have enough. 

Work is more than just our employment.  Yes, we have jobs to provide the money we need to function in society, but our jobs are merely a means to an end.  We certainly can have profitable careers, God wants us to prosper and be successful, but our reason to work is so much greater than that. 

God designed us to work.  Even Adam and Eve worked in the Garden of Eden.  Working keeps our bodies strong and our minds sharp.  Accomplishing a goal takes work.  Taking care of yourself and your surroundings takes work.  Raising a family takes work (and a lot of it).  Even loving someone takes work.  And a job well done is a very satisfying and fulfilling experience that cannot be attained without work. 

Matthew 6:33

 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

The context of this verse talks about things we need in life, like food, drink and clothing.  And this verse declares that God will supply all those things when we seek Him first.  So, can we seek God first in our jobs?  Absolutely!  Can we keep Him first in our careers?  For sure.  We can seek God first in anything that we do.  And bear in mind that seeking is also work.  It is actively pursuing something, which takes effort and focus.  Seeking God should be our priority.

When we keep God first in our lives, all the facets of life fall into their proper order.  That includes our jobs, and every other kind of work we need to do.  Need to do yardwork?  Do it heartily as unto the Lord.  What about school?  Housework?  Relationships?  Do them all heartily as unto the Lord and God will bless your efforts.

1 Corinthians 15:58 says, “Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.”

So why do we work?  Because our labor is not in vain in the Lord.  The most profitable work we can do is the work of the Lord.  That means that if we put forth the effort to seek God first in all that we do, He will provide whatever we need to be able to do whatever needs done.  And we can be wildly successful in everything we do (including our jobs/careers) because our God is that big and He loves us that much. 

Note to my readers:  This is my 100^th post.  Can you believe it??  Thanks for reading. 

I am going to bare my soul to you in this post.  For many years, my husband has wanted a puppy.  When we got married, he had a dog.  When we moved to the farm, he had three dogs, none of which were very well trained.  Then my husband changed jobs and we moved to New Jersey.  Our lifestyle with apartment living, work and travel was no longer conducive to having a dog.  (His first dog had passed away and the other two were given away before we moved.)  However, during all those years in NJ, he still wanted a puppy.  To try to satisfy that craving, first he got an aquarium, then birds, and finally a cat.   None of which seemed to satisfy that craving for a puppy, although Samuel, our cat was a good pet.  He was well behaved (mostly), independent and fairly low maintenance.  He had a quirky personality and was affectionate – when HE wanted to be.  We had him for almost 19 years.  But sadly, Sam passed away in 2021.

Once the grieving period for Sam had ended, my husband began an urgent pursuit to get a puppy.  This urgency met with strong push-back from me.  We had lived pet free for a year and half and I enjoyed that freedom.  In addition, I know that a dog, especially a puppy needs much attention on a consistent basis.  I truly did not want to subject myself to that task.  Nor did I want to be incumbered with a pet that would potentially have accidents on my carpet or chew my furniture.  I was enjoying my pet hair-free environment and being unrestricted by the responsibility of pet ownership.

Now here is the crux of my story.  My husband’s insistence on getting a puppy and my refusal began to weigh on our relationship.  We began to fight over the issue.  The more insistent he became, the stronger I resisted, and our marriage began to suffer.  Each of us felt that the other was being unreasonable.  I felt like I was being forced to accept a situation that I didn’t want to be in, and he felt that he was being denied his heart’s desire.  We were at an impasse.  Neither wanted to give in.  And a wall was growing between us.

Then one day last fall, we had decided to stop by a new restaurant in town to check it out.  It was very crowded, so we ended up sitting at the bar.  We struck up a conversation with the gentleman next to us only to find out that his wife is a dog breeder. And by the way, there will be puppies available around Thanksgiving.  My husband quickly made a hand-shake deal to get one of those puppies.  Inside, I was fuming.

This began a strong resentment in my mind.  Why did I have to agree to something that I was so opposed to?  (My opposition was every bit as strong as his urgent need.)  I kept this inside until it festered into a consuming flame.  Our fighting continued.  My resentment grew.  Sometimes when we find ourselves in these situations, it is easier to complain to our friends than it is to continue fighting with our spouse,  Even though that is not the right course of action to take, that is what I did.

Now, to be clear, I like dogs as much as the next person, I just don’t want one.  It falls in the same category as babies.  I love babies, but I sure don’t want that responsibility at my age.  Let me hold them and love on them and give them back!  Let me pet your dog, even watch it for a time, and then you take it home.  My friends knew that I did not want a dog.  So, imagine their surprise when I told them we were getting a puppy.  Of course, few agreed with my opposition because really, who doesn’t want a dog??  But all recognized that it was an issue for me. 

One day, a friend suggested that instead of being so angry, I could pray that the situation would be a blessing.  I could pray for God’s help in training the puppy and for the puppy to be a happy addition to the family. I was struck in the heart.  Afterall, the puppy is my husband’s heart’s desire.  Should I fight against that?  And I know prayer works.  God’s answers are available.  God is able and willing to bless us in every category of our lives.  Can He help me in this one?  Of course! 

Now accepting this has not been easy.  I have cried almost every day since the puppy was born (before we even had her at our house).  I actually can’t tell you why.  It has been a big burden on my heart, though.  Maybe I cried because I knew that I needed to change my mind and couldn’t manage to do it.  Maybe it was because I was overwhelmed (and still am) by this prospect.  But I’m working on it.  And I’m ever so thankful for my friend’s wise counsel. 

I share all of this because my plight has afforded much learning for me.  In any situation we face, God can and will provide a solution.  But what if the solution is not the one we want?  God can help us with that as well.  We can change our minds when needed, and God will help us do that.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Either these verses are true or they’re not.  We know they ARE true! 

In situations such as this one for me, we need to trust in the Lord.  We can trust Him in every situation.  Do we think that the situation we are facing right now is any different?  It is not.  However, often in situations of need, even of despair, we don’t know the answer, so we are more willing to accept God’s solution.  But in this situation for me, I had already determined what the answer should be – MY answer!! Those are the times that we bind God’s hands.  We need to trust that God knows what is best and His way is right.  And seriously, do I think I can do a better job than God can?

Which brings me to another element in these kinds of situations – pride.  One side of pride is stubborn arrogance, and the other side is satisfaction of a job well-done.  They are two very different aspects and cannot be confused.  When we recognize the wrong kind of pride in our lives, we must root it out and throw it away.  In my case, I had to ask myself if my resistance was due to wrongful pride.  Was I determined that I had to get my own way because of pride?  To be honest, I don’t really know, but I was willing to change my mind after I put the situation in God’s hands.  I was willing to trust God’s answer. 

Well, we brought the puppy home, this past Monday.  She is adorable, but my house is in much disarray.  There is a corral in my living room, and there are coverings on the couch and rug.  There are puppy toys scattered everywhere.  My time is consumed with puppy supervision and cleaning up after accidents, of which there have been MANY.  I still cry at times and I still feel overwhelmed.  But each day, I grow a little more positive and I see a little more ‘light at the end of the tunnel’.  God continues to answer my prayers.  And every day, my heart relaxes a little more as I continue to seek His aid in the situation.  God never leaves us nor forsakes us.  He cares about everything that affects us – the big things and the little things.  I remind myself of the old hymn, “I know He cares for me.”  We all are that important to Him!

So, we all can trust God and lean not to our own understanding in any and every situation that we face.  We can acknowledge Him and He will direct our paths.  And we can be assured that God’s direction is always the right way to go.  We can cast our cares upon Him and see what He will do for us!  This may take time, but with God’s help we can do it. 

Note to my readers:  I will update my story in a couple months.  I’m expecting a victory in this situation!  Thanks for reading. 

It is not uncommon to think of the new year as a fresh start, a clean slate, or a new beginning.  All the hoopla and celebration of New Year’s Eve has schooled us to think that life is brand new every January 1^st.  There is an element of comfort in thinking this way, and an element of excitement.  We are comforted by considering that the problems of the prior year are over; and we are excited by anticipating the fresh solutions that the new year will bring. 

However, in reality January 1^st changes nothing but the calendar.  New Year’s Day is not any newer than today is or tomorrow will be.  Every morning is a new beginning and a clean slate, and a fresh start.  Look at Lamentations 3:22, 23. “It is of the LORD’S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.  They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness”.

Every day we have the opportunity to write success, or status quo, or failure on our slates, and each new morning offers us a “do-over”.  Each day gives us a chance to remedy a disappointment, to right a wrong, or to overcome an adversity.  Each day offers us the prospect of achieving our goal, being wildly successful, or witnessing a great victory. And every day, God’s faithfulness is great.

Now, I’m not disputing that January 1^st is a special day.  A new year does change things.  The first thing that comes to mind is our age.  Whether we like it or whether we don’t, every one of us will add a year to our age in 2023.  Anniversaries will also add a year.  Maybe you are graduating from school in 2023, that couldn’t happen until the year arrived.  But my point is that although a new year provides new opportunities, every morning is a fresh start and a new day.  Every day we can have comfort in considering that the problems of yesterday are past; and excitement anticipating the fresh solutions that the new day can bring.  Those ideas are not limited to January 1^st.

Think about resolutions…  We all probably make New Year’s resolutions.  And if you are anything like me, you break those resolutions frequently.   Maybe we should consider making daily resolutions instead of making New Year’s resolutions.  For example, we might make a New Year’s resolution that we are going to walk every day.  But the first time that we miss a day of walking, we become discouraged because we have broken our resolution.  How much easier would it be to make a resolution that you are going to walk today?  Small goals are often more manageable than long-term goals.  Also, achieving small goals can build a pattern of success that helps us reach those big goals.

Why not have the same excitement every day that we have on January 1^st?  It’s just a matter of how and what we think. 

In Colossians 3:2, it says, “Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.”  The word ‘affection’ in this verse means our mind, our thoughts, our understanding, our opinions, our interests.  We are to direct our thinking to a higher place, which is heaven.  And everything we know about heaven is found in God’s Word.  So, bottom line – we must direct our thoughts toward what the Bible says. 

This is further explained in Isaiah 55:9, where God says, “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

It is also explained in Romans 12:2, “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” 

The word renew also means to renovate or make a complete change for the better.  Since birth, our thoughts have been governed by our 5 senses only.  But when we got born again, we received holy spirit that offered us another avenue of learning.  This means that we can renovate our old way of thinking so it will reflect what God’s Words says.  And that is definitely a complete change for the better!

When we change our thinking to agree with what God’s Word says, we open the door for God to work in our lives.  He will guide our steps. He will strengthen us.  He will deliver us.  And none of what He does is limited to a specific day on the calendar.  So, our expectations shouldn’t be limited either.  God’s mercies are new each morning. He is always with us to help us tackle whatever comes our way.

In conclusion…  Happy New Year!!  I can’t deny that a new year is exciting.  I just encourage you to look at each new day with the same zeal that January 1^st elicits.  God’s compassions fail not. That alone should inspire us.  We can be enthusiastic every day because the future is as bright as the promises of God, no matter what year it is or what day. 

Note to my readers:  I am reminded of the wonderful old hymn, “Great Is Thy Faithfulness”, where in the chorus it says:

…Morning by morning new mercies I see
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me

Thanks for reading! 

At this time of year, “gifts” seem to be the prevalent topic of conversation.  Gifts are the theme of almost all advertising these days. So consequently, gifts are on everyone’s mind.  So, it should be no surprise that I want to talk about gifts. 😊  The dictionary defines the word “gift” as, “a thing given willingly to someone without payment; a present:”

Often young children only think of gifts as the presents they receive, especially at Christmastime.  Perhaps they sat on Santa’s lap and told him all the things they wanted for Christmas.  And then anxiously awaited Christmas morning to see if he brought them what they asked for.  Their anticipation of Christmas and the activities of the day center around those presents. 

As children get a little older, they start to learn the joy of giving gifts.  When I was in elementary school, the school would set up a special section of the gym that kids could go in without parents to buy presents for their families.  Store owners would donate merchandise, the school would sell things at lower-than-retail price, the proceeds would benefit the school, and it was a good deal for families.   Win-win-win!

I remember my mom giving me money and how grown-up I felt going into Santa’s gift shop by myself.  His helpers would guide me in my diligent quest for the best presents.  I can’t say that I remember everything that I got for my mom each Christmas, but I can remember being happy when she liked her gift.  Thinking back, I’m sure that most of her enthusiasm was for my benefit, but she was happy just because I wanted to give her something, and that made me happy. 

As children continue to grow, they learn even more about the joy of giving.  They may start working so they have their own money to buy gifts.  One of my favorite things in the whole world has always been finding ‘the perfect gift’ for someone.  I’m as excited for them to open their gifts as I was as a kid opening my own. 

The dynamic of gift giving changes when we become parents.  We endeavor to see our children as happy as we were when we were kids.  We want them to experience the thrill and excitement that we felt.  We may relive our childhood Christmases through them.  In this process, we gain more appreciation for what our parents did for us; and we realize that we are the happiest when our kids are happy.

But…  presents are only one kind of gift we can give.  There are many gifts we can give that may mean more or benefit more than a physical gift. 

One such gift that comes to mind is a helping hand.  If someone is having a hard time, a helping hand could mean a lot more to them than a present.  Helping to carry someone’s burden; pitching in when they are overwhelmed; or surprising them with a considerate gesture are all things that can be “given willingly to someone without payment”.  What’s the worth of a shoulder to cry on or the assistance received when you couldn’t do it by yourself?  Those actions often demonstrate generosity more wonderfully than buying a present.  Being willing to give our time and energy can mean the world to someone in need. 

I would like to interject here that in addition to helping someone in need, our time and energy can also be demonstrated by handmade gifts. There is something so special about receiving a homemade gift. They are not only unique one-of-a-kind items, but they also represent the giver’s heart and that makes us feel special.

Another gift we can give is a kind word.  Have you ever been really troubled, and someone comes along and says just the right words to get you through?  Words can make (or break) someone’s day.  Words can heal, help, restore, inspire, or deliver someone.  Think of how much a genuine compliment means to our soul.  No matter what frame of mind we are in, a compliment makes us feel good.  How about a word of thanks?  Don’t we all like to know that we are appreciated?  Friendships are built on words.  Marriages thrive with words.  Souls connect via words.  Words are easy to give.  It only takes a little forethought before we speak to say something that will really uplift someone.   Words don’t cost us a dime and can mean so much to the hearer. 

Giving presents is a thoughtful act.  It makes people happy.  Kind words and helpful hands can be delightful gifts that bless others.  But of all the gifts that anyone could ever receive, nothing compares to the gift of salvation that God gave to us.  Being born again with holy spirit inside – Christ in us; and knowing that we have eternal life is more precious than a trillion of the most expensive presents in the world.  God’s acts of kindness far exceed the kindest thing that we could do. And the kindest words that we can speak come straight from God’s matchless Word of life.  His words bring peace and joy. 

Could a new car, even a Lamborghini rival having God Almighty as our Father and His son Jesus Christ as our brother?  How about a mansion?  The biggest mansion on earth can’t compare to the home that’s prepared for us in heaven! 

 So, it seems to me that the best part of gifts is the giving.  It’s wonderful to receive gifts, we all like it.  But there is so much satisfaction in the act of giving that it in and of itself is a gift to us.    Enjoy your Christmas celebration.  Give presents, speak kindly, help out wherever needed.  Embrace the joy of giving and see what God will do for you. 

Note to my readers:  Merry Christmas!  Happy Holidays!  Feliz Navidad!   However you want to say it…  I’m sending my love to you and your family.