Category: General Writing

(To avoid any confusion in case you read my previous post about my brother from Alaska, this post is about my other brother.)

No one is ever really prepared to lose a loved one.  It is always a heart-breaking experience.  But at these times, our faith in God really comes into play.  We can be strong, and we can have peace because God is our refuge and strength at all times, and especially at these times. 

Psalm 46:1 –  God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

We can be comforted because God is the God of comfort.

2 Corinthians 1:3, 4 – Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.  (that’s a lot of comfort!!)

We can have hope because God promised us eternal life. 

Titus 1:2  In hope of eternal life, which God, that cannot lie, promised before the world began;

These are just a few of the scriptures that help us at these times.  There are many more.  Yet, even with our wholehearted trust in God, there will still be tears.  That’s okay!  Like my friend always says, “we’re not robots!”  Separation hurts.  But after the pain subsides a little, we can recall the good times and be thankful to have had that person in our lives. 

So, it is with my brother. 

Although his birth name was Laurie, after the character in Little Women, he never really embraced that name.  Of course, Mom always called him by his given name, but as kids we always called him Gummer.  I asked my brother, Jon once why we called him that, and he said, “because he is always chewing gum.”  I don’t know if that was actually the reason, but he has always been Gummer to me.  In fact, all my kids called him, “Uncle Gummer” when they were young.  We even had a t-shirt made for him with that name on it. 

Right before my freshman year in high school, we moved from Pittsburgh to Ohio, but Gummer stayed in Pittsburgh.  It was during this time that he adopted the name “Sarge”.  He told me once that he got that name from organizing the trip and taking charge of the group of friends who all went to Woodstock in 1969.  He still allowed me to call him Gummer, even though he preferred Sarge.  And over the years, I have tried to amend my ways to honor his wishes. 

Sarge was my closest sibling in age, only 5 years older.  We were close, not only because of age, but also because he was a gentle soul (Jon was rather short-tempered growing up).  The two brothers were always getting into some kind of mischief, and it seemed that they were in trouble more than they weren’t.  Some of the family sagas include the time they set the curtains in their bedroom on fire with their chemistry set; the time they brought a praying mantis cocoon in the house, which hatched into a million baby praying mantises; and the night they put a white sheet over a tennis racket and pushed it through my bedroom doorway with all the applicable ghostly sounds.  I was 5.  All of these events and many more got my brothers in trouble on a fairly regular basis. 

When I was around seven, we moved into a big house in the ‘suburbs’.  Jon moved out before I was 12, then it was just Sarge and me for a few years.  Sarge was enough older, that I’m sure I was a nuisance to him, but he was very tolerant most of the time.  (However, he still enjoyed tormenting me when he could.)  He liked to bake pies and he made his own pie crust from scratch – it was delicious!  We played dodgeball once with a ball of his pie-dough, which left big spots all over the walls.  Even I got in trouble for that one.  Another time we had a water fight with the hose – in the house!  Shenanigans just seemed to follow us.  We would jump from our patio which was on top of the garage into our 4-foot-deep swimming pool below or throw ‘cherry bombs’ in the water while someone was submerged.  Sarge liked meat and hated vegetables.  I like vegetables and hated meat.  So, we devised a stealthy system of transferring food from plate to plate at dinnertime so we each could eat what we liked.  Both brothers had to help bury the little animals the cat brought home that didn’t survive my attempts to nurse them back to health.  We always had a graveside service.

When Sarge got his driver’s license, in order for him to use the car, he had to take his little sister wherever she wanted to go first.  I never gave it a thought at the time, but that must have been such a pain the butt for him.  But he never complained and never made me feel like he didn’t want to drive me around.  And while he was driving me places, we often talked about very important things, like going to boy-girl parties.  That’s a good big brother! 

After Mom and Dad and I moved to Ohio, I didn’t see Sarge as much.  He was grown with his own life.  I was in high school.  He visited from time to time, and we talked on the phone, but our lives kind of moved forward independently.  I grew up, got married, went to Bible College, had children.  He worked, did his thing, had a son.  We rendezvoused at Mom and Dad’s for holidays and such.  And although we didn’t see each other very often, we still had a bond.

Time passed and Sarge ended up moving to Ohio also.  I saw him more often for a period of time.  One special memory was when Sarge and Dad helped move the kids and me to a new town.  They had to drive a little over an hour to get to where we were living, load up the truck, drive about an hour more to where we were moving, and unload everything. They had to repeat the process twice! Then they had to drive almost two hours back home.  It turned out to be about 14 hours of exhausting work and driving, but they did it for me.  I often think of how tired and sore they must have been and wonder if they ever knew how much I appreciated their efforts.  I have a very special place in my heart for what my dad and my brother did for us that day. 

These last years seemed to really limit Sarge and I seeing each other.  We would talk on the phone and maybe see each when I might be in Ohio.  He was unable to travel out of town.  We both worked until recently.  And I lived in New Jersey and now in Florida. I missed being close to my brother.   I always thought we’d have more time to catch up later, but sadly later never came.

What I want you to know about my brother is that he was a gentle soul.  He was a good big brother. He was a good friend.  He tried hard to be a good person.  He wanted to be a good dad.  He might have fallen short on some things, but who hasn’t?  He might have had his problems, but who doesn’t?  Just know that he never ever meant to hurt anyone.  He was kind and unjudgmental.  He was and will always be my brother, Gummer. 

Note to my readers:  My writing always seems to help give me closure.  I appreciate you allowing me to reminisce and heal.  Thanks for reading!

When we think of pillars, we might picture classical architecture such as the stately columns of a Greek or Roman portico.  Although some of those pillars may be impressively ornate, their primary function is to support the structure’s roof or upper level.  Perhaps we might think of a pillar like a post that holds up a section of fence.  In either case, pillars are generally an integral part of a structure’s soundness.  Pillars support something, whether vertically or horizontally and they are used for strength and stability.

We might think of a person as a pillar.  Maybe you’ve have heard the terms, “pillar of society”, or “pillar of strength” referring to a strong person with integrity.  Thinking of a person as a pillar is a compliment to their resolve, good moral character, and steadfast convictions.

I want to be a pillar.  I want to be someone who is strong and reliable.  I want to be supportive to those in need.  I want to be a stable person that people can count on.  And more than anything, I want to be pleasing to God. 

I doubt my desires are much (if any) different than yours.  In general, people want to do the right thing, especially Christians.  Of course, there are exceptions, but most folks get a lot of satisfaction from helping others and giving of themselves.  They enjoy the fruit of their labor by putting others first.  They reap the benefits of practicing the principle of giving and receiving. 

I’m not saying that only Christians do this.  There are many nice and kind people in all walks of life.  But speaking from experience, I never really knew how to be truly kind, or how to honestly give until I began to learn the truth of God’s Word.  Before that, I never had a solid foundation on which to stand.  I could only operate on feelings or everchanging worldly standards.

It is because of God’s Word that I want to be a pillar.  What God’s Word has taught me has given me something worth giving to others.  It has enabled me to remain steadfast and has encouraged me to want to help people.  God’s Word has taught me that fear and selfishness are defeating, and that we are never poorer for giving. 

God’s Word is a Word of deliverance.  It is a Word of healing, a Word of prosperity, and the Word of life!  What better thing is there to give?  What better thing is there to receive?  What better thing is there to stake your life on? 

The grandeur of the columns in classical architecture certainly made them a focal point.  But that was not their primary purpose.  They are a necessary part of the structure’s support system.  I can’t say that I’ve seen many fences with posts that I admire, but those posts are just as important for the support they provide as those stately columns.  What about the pilings of a pier, or the stanchions that form the lines at the airport?  They also perform a necessary function but are rarely even recognized.  (Except, the ones at the airport might often be cussed at!)  Yet without any of these pillars the correlating structure would fail. 

If we only want to be like the pillars of classical architecture – impressive and ornate, we’re missing the mark.  If we want everyone to notice us for our good deeds, we don’t understand the real dynamics of being a pillar.  But if we are content to be like an ordinary post that keeps the fence strong so that the cattle are secure, we have begun to understand service.  Being a pillar is being strong enough to serve whether we are recognized for it or not.  Our desire should always be to help people, regardless of any attention we receive for it.  A fence post is seldom celebrated, but its service is invaluable. 

The very coolest thing is that when we serve like the common fence post or even an airport stanchion, God still sees us as the most beautiful stately ornate marble column, even if people don’t.  In God’s eyes we are lovely pillars of faith and grace.  We are the apple of His eye and the object of His affection.  Could we ever be more special than that?  Could people’s accolades ever replace that?  The answer is NO!

Matthew 6:4 – That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly.

So, why not spend our time and effort thinking of how we can be of service to help and bless others?  Why not set aside our self-filled thoughts for a moment and concentrate on being a pillar?  Why not seek opportunities to be strong for someone in need, to support someone in distress, or to be a stable shoulder for someone to cry on.  Why not live to serve?

What others might see as a common run-of-the-mill pillar here on earth is a tall, majestic marble pillar to God!  What sometimes might seem like a thankless job now, is earning priceless rewards in heaven.  So, stand firm and stand tall and be the best pillar you can be.  You will never be poorer for giving. 

Note to my readers:  I see you all as pillars supporting my writings.  You are special to me and greatly appreciated.  Thanks for reading!!

Have you ever hurt someone’s feelings by something you said?  I would challenge anyone who answered, “no” to that question.  We all have done this at some point in time – and I’m sure we’ve done it more than once!

It’s in our human nature to make mistakes.  None of us is perfect.  And it seems sometimes that the most unperfect thing about us is our tongue.  Look at what the Bible says about it:

James 3:8 – But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.

That is a strong statement regarding our speech.  It shows us just how injurious our words can be. 

So, what should we do?

Some people might say, “I don’t care if my words upset you, that’s your problem.”  Others might refrain from talking all together for fear of offending someone.  Neither of those is the correct response.  Of course, every situation is different, but with few exceptions, which I will get into later; our response needs to be somewhere between those two extremes.       

Generally, we do care if we hurt someone’s feelings.  Most often, the words we speak that upset someone are not spoken with that intent.  They are usually spoken either carelessly or ignorantly, and as such can be regrettable.  If we do speak harsh words to intentionally hurt someone, it is commonly out of anger, which we almost always regret and wish that we could take back.    

I can still hear my mom’s admonition, “Think before you speak!”  That is good advice.  It is not a bad practice to “engage brain before opening mouth.”  Generally, this practice simply means that we don’t spout off everything that’s running around in our brain without some filtration.  This often applies to our initial opinion of a situation.  We may have misunderstood someone’s comments, or had not received all the facts when we formed our opinion.  Consequently, if we blurt out something without proper consideration, we may be totally off-base.  But if we take a moment to think before we speak; maybe ask questions to gather more information, we might save ourselves some embarrassment or grief.  Another part of thinking before speaking is considering our audience.  For example, men enjoy bantering with other men, but that same banter may ‘cross the line’ with another audience.  Think before you speak.

Our words are our primary vehicle for expressing our thoughts and revealing our inner selves.  If our words are continually negative and hurtful, they indicate that we are thinking those kinds of thoughts.   And they will portray us as a mean or uncaring person.  And the opposite is also true.  If our words are continually positive and kind-hearted, it becomes evident that we are thinking those thoughts.  And our words will portray us as a good and kind person.  What do you want people to think about you?  What do your words portray?

When we pay attention to our words, it can lessen the chances of hurting someone’s feelings.  Yet no matter how conscientious we are, it is inevitable that we will say the wrong thing at times.  When this happens, because we meant no ill, a simple apology should take care of any misunderstanding.  I find myself saying the wrong thing oftentimes when I am trying to be funny.  (Since people generally like to laugh, I enjoy any occasion that I can facilitate a chuckle.)  But when my jokes meet with puzzled or irritated stares, I know that they have backfired, and apologies are in order. 

Suppose we said something very innocently and we weren’t wrong in what we said, but someone’s feelings got hurt none-the-less.  There could be another side to that story.  The hearer might be overly sensitive. Hearers cannot jump to conclusions and immediately overreact to everything they hear.  They cannot assume that someone is purposely trying to hurt them.  They cannot be on the defensive all the time.  If they are thinking in any those ways, basically they are bringing the hurt feelings onto themselves. 

So, if we are offended by something someone said, we should take the initiative to discuss the situation with the speaker so that our hurt feelings don’t escalate into resentment or division.  More times than not, the speaker probably has no idea that our feelings have been hurt.  Furthermore, if what someone said is reproof or correction that we should heed, we must be meek enough to receive that information and not allow hurt feelings to hold us back. 

All of this is to say that our words matter, therefore, we should be attentive to them.  The best way to do that is to have our words aligned with the truth.  Now, to be clear, the only real truth is the Bible.  I’m not talking about the worldly ideas that people call truth.  Those truisms are subject to opinion and can change at any time.  But if our thoughts are filled with the unwavering truth of God’s Word, our conversation will reflect the quality of those words. 

That does not mean that the only things we can ever talk about are Bible passages.  But when our innermost thoughts are governed by the truth that is revealed in God’s Word, our conversation will be seasoned with salt as noted in Colossians 4:6.  (This refers to an Eastern custom, that when someone was salted [salt touched their tongue] it meant that they would always speak truth and never break their promise.)  Isn’t that the kind of speech we want to be known for?

As I mentioned earlier, there are some exceptions regarding our speech hurting someone’s feelings.  When we are speaking God’s Word, and it offends someone, that is not our problem.  We never apologize for speaking the Truth.  It would be our problem if we did not speak The Word for fear of offending someone.  Not everyone wants to hear God’s Word, and that’s okay, they have freedom of will.  But that should never stop us from sharing the wonderful words that we have heard.  It is our privilege and responsibility to speak God’s Word and to serve It on a silver platter.  We should never hesitate to share the GOOD NEWS of the gospel to all that we meet.  If it offends someone, shake the dust of your shoes, and move on.

No matter what you’re talking about, no matter to whom you are talking, “THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK” is a good rule of thumb.  Don’t be afraid to speak your mind, and don’t be afraid of making a mistake, but do think before you speak.  If you accidently say something that offends someone, apologize, and move on.  If you offend someone with God’s Word, say a prayer for them and move on.  Our life will be an exciting adventure when we “go, stand and speak… all the words of this life” as the angel told the apostles in Acts 5:20.  We are the lights of the world!  Hey, we could think that before we speak!  Wouldn’t that be cool?

Note to my readers:  I am sorry for my sporadic schedule lately.  Hopefully my life will settle down soon and I can get back to more regular posting.  Until then, I will make every effort to post at least twice a month, but I can’t promise what days.  I am so grateful for all my readers.  I pray for you all!  Thanks for reading!!

My brother and his wife visited us recently from Alaska.  We had a delightful time together for two whole weeks!  I had not seen them for seven years, and I think before then it was a 10-year interval between visits.  (Alaska is very far away!)  They are retired now, but they were commercial fishermen.  Their lifestyle was not only amazing but also couldn’t have been more different than mine.  I loved hearing about their adventures at sea and their lives on land in the “wild west” as my brother describes Alaska.  (While they were here, the snowfall at home topped 7 feet.  There was no snow in Florida!) 

Here is one of their most remarkable stories.  They were introduced to a National Geographic photographer when their oldest daughter was a young girl.  The photographer was fascinated with their family’s lifestyle living on a fishing boat.  He took a picture of their daughter by the light of a kerosene lantern using an early model of an electronic tablet for her studies.  The picture was published in the magazine.  That in itself is a great story, but that isn’t the end.

Time passed and the family moved into a house on land.  They still fished but no longer lived on the boat.  Their daughter was now college age and working for the forestry service during the summer.  This particular summer, some recent college grads from Australia came to Alaska and also worked for the forestry service.  Their daughter met one of those handsome young Australian men and there was an instant attraction.  She eventually brought him home to meet her mom (her dad was fishing).  And in their conversation, her mom asked the young man why he chose to come to Alaska.  She knew that he must have done a lot planning and saving in order to make such a trip.  He replied that some years earlier, he saw a little girl’s picture in a National Geographic magazine and fell in love.  So, my sister-in-law fetched their copy of the magazine and asked, “You mean this picture?”  My niece and her husband are living in Australia and have been happily married for over 20 years.  They have 3 children, the oldest of whom is currently attending Princeton University.

In one of our many conversations, I realized that I didn’t really know my brother or his wife like I thought I did.  To be clear, there was never a rift between us, just time and miles.  My brother is older than I and had moved away from home when I was in Jr. High.  So, our paths began to diverge at early age.  We still talked from time to time and kept tabs on each other’s milestone events, but for the most part our lives progressed independently.  Who knew that those paths would cross again someday in such a meaningful way?

Their busy life on the boat precluded them from visiting very often, and there never seemed to be the necessary time or money for us to visit Alaska.  The 4-hour time difference made it difficult to stay in touch like we probably should have.  And as it always does, time marched on.  So much life happened during those years.  We are not the same people that we were so long ago.  It was a pleasure to be able to fill in the blanks from all our years.  

This time with my brother and sister-in-law gave me such appreciation for their lives.  I have great respect for their experiences, which were beyond anything I could ever imagine myself doing.  Working together at a strenuous and dangerous job, living in a confined space on a boat, and raising children amid all of that, goes way beyond my capabilities! 

Their visit reminded me that families are an important part of life.  Throughout history, families have played a central role in society. They have been the primary source of love, support, protection, and nurturing for both adults and children.  They provide a safe and secure environment and a sense of belonging and identity, which are crucial for an individual’s well-being and emotional development.  Historically, the family unit has been the cornerstone of stability and deemed to be a necessary part of life in many cultures.  Although the dynamics of the family unit may have changed throughout history, the significance has never changed.  A family offers us a sense of belonging and acceptance that no other social group does. 

Biblically, we see the family as a constant theme all the way back to Adam and Eve. In Bible times, the family unit was essential to their way of life.  Much is said, especially in the Old Testament, about the family structure.  That blueprint helps us understand our relationship with God today. 

God called us to be in His family.

2 Corinthians 6:18 – And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.

God uses things we can see to illustrate things we cannot see.  God instituted the family structure not only to help us here on earth, but also to help us relate to Him as our Father and our fellow Christians as our brothers and sisters. 

But like anything in this world, the physical family can fall prey to the corruption of negative influences, just like Adam and Eve’s did.  Those influences may cause problems in our families, which could distort or diminish our understanding of being in God’s family.  That’s why we must fight for our families both our physical family and our spiritual one, remembering that praying for them might be the only thing we can do. 

People are not perfect.  They can let us down.  So, we may get separated from our physical families for various reasons.  In those cases, our spiritual family can fill the void.  We can always count on God to be our loving Father, Who cares for us no matter what!  We can take comfort in knowing that we will NEVER be separated from our spiritual family. 

I’m very thankful to have had this time with my brother and sister-in-law – to have had the opportunity to really get to know them and appreciate their lives.  A timid little girl and her daredevil big brother reconnected after living their lives so differently for so long.  What a joy!  (By the way, the timid little girl isn’t so timid anymore.  And the big brother might not be such a daredevil these days!)

Our family is crazy – always has been, but it’s a strong family.  Although we started out in the same household, my brother and I are very different.  We couldn’t have pursued more opposite lifestyles.  We don’t talk to each other every week or even every month.  (We vowed to work on that.)  We don’t agree on every topic, but that doesn’t bother us.  We love and respect each other because we are family.

Note to my readers:  I apologize for my late posting, but I think from the topic you can understand the delay.  Thanks for reading. 

If you read my last post, you may have noticed that I cited a common saying, “Actions speak louder than words”.  But since then, I read something online that added to that saying, “But intentions speak louder than actions”.  That additional statement caught my eye, but I wasn’t sure what I thought about it.  So, I set out to do a little research in order to make an informed opinion.    

My first step was to make sure I understood the word, ‘intentions’, which comes from the root word ‘intent’.  According to my friend, Merriam Webster, ‘intent’ means:  “a usually clearly formulated or planned intention, aim; the act or fact of intending, design or purpose; the state of mind with which an act is done, volition.”  Intent is a noun or can be an adjective. 

Intention, also a noun, is defined as, “what one intends to do or bring about; a determination to act in a certain way, resolve.”

I noticed in these definitions that the word ‘intend’ is used, indicating that intend is different from intent.  So, what does ‘intend’ mean?  MW says: “to have in mind as a purpose or goal, a plan; to design for a specified use or future; signify, mean; to refer to; to direct the mind on.”  Intend is a verb.  Similar meaning to intent, but not identical. 

Furthermore, I found a research site called, “The Content Authority”.  The following is an excerpt from their explanation of intent and intend:

“Focusing on discussing the difference between “intend” and “intent,” it’s essential to understand the subtle nuances that set these two words apart. While they may seem similar at first glance, each carries its own distinct meaning and usage in the English language.

In simple terms, “intend” is a verb that refers to having a specific purpose or plan in mind. It conveys the idea of consciously aiming or directing one’s thoughts or actions towards a particular outcome. On the other hand, “intent” is a noun that represents a person’s state of mind or purpose. It signifies the determination or resolve behind someone’s actions or decisions.

With this in mind, it becomes clear that “intend” is the appropriate word to use when discussing actions or plans, while “intent” is more suitable for describing someone’s mindset or motivation.

When we speak of “intend,” we are referring to the act of having a specific purpose or goal in mind. It is the conscious decision to direct one’s thoughts, actions, or plans towards achieving a particular outcome. In simpler terms, intending involves setting an objective or intention and actively working towards it.

It is important to note that “intend” implies a level of conscious awareness and purposefulness. It conveys a sense of intentionality, where the individual is fully aware of their actions and the desired outcome they seek to achieve.

In contrast, “intent” refers to the underlying motivation or purpose behind an action or decision. It delves deeper into the psychological or emotional aspect of why someone is driven to do something. While “intend” focuses on the conscious planning and goal setting, “intent” explores the underlying desires, aspirations, or motivations that drive those intentions.

To summarize, while “intend” focuses on the conscious planning and purposeful actions, “intent” delves into the deeper motivations and emotional drivers behind those intentions.”

Now, you may be thinking, “TMI, Terri!”  And I get that, but I was just so excited to learn all this.  I love being able to understand something that wasn’t completely clear to me before, especially when it comes to words. I had always thought of intend and intent as synonymous, just one was a verb and the other a noun.    Learning about their differences was exciting!

With all that being said, I can see why someone might say that ‘intentions speak louder than actions’ because the motivation behind our actions is usually a very important component.  But beware, good intentions do not  excuse acting haphazardly or behaving badly. 

Consider these examples:  My husband’s intention was to bless me with a birthday gift.  But he picked out a frumpy dress.  When I opened the present, I was happy even though the dress was not my style, because his intention was so sweet.  Now, for another birthday years later, my husband intended to get me a present.  But he put it off and ran out of time.  So, at the last minute, he slipped me some cash.  I was not as happy in that instance because of his lack of effort for my birthday.  (I did keep the cash, though!!)  You could look at the first example and say that the intention spoke louder than the action.  And I would agree.  However…

Although I agree that intentions are very important, neither intending nor having intentions mean much without a corresponding action.  In the first example, my husband’s intention did speak louder than his action.  But what if he had taken no action?  Would his intention have mattered as much?  In the second example, what he intended was overshadowed by his lack of acting on it. Without an action, intending and intention can be mute.  Both could remain unrecognized or possibly perceived negatively.

I knew a wonderful Christian lady who told me that she fancied herself as a very caring and considerate person: until one day she realized that she wasn’t what she thought she was.  She based her assessment of herself on knowing that in her mind, she always thought about people and prayed for them.  When she was out shopping, she would see things in the store and think, ‘so and so’ would really like that.  She would remember people on their birthdays by saying a special prayer for them.  And then came her epiphany!  She had not demonstrated any of those caring thoughts.  She didn’t let anyone know that she was praying for them.  She never bought any of those things she thought someone would like.  And she didn’t reach out to anyone to wish them a happy birthday or send them a card.  So, all her good intentions went unnoticed by those for whom they were intended.  Her intentions had no voice.

You might argue that God sees our intentions.  And that is true.  But just having good intentions is not fulfilling God’s instructions to us.  For example, it is stated in 1 John 3:23,  “And this is his commandment, That we should believe on the name of his Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, as he gave us commandment.”  (There are 18 more verses in the New Testament that specifically tell us to love one another.)  To truly love one another requires action on our part, not merely intentions.  I’m not saying that our intentions aren’t important.  They are!  They are the underlying motivation for our actions.  But people will see and judge our actions regardless of our intentions.        

Our words can convey our intentions.  But telling someone about your intentions does not always finish the job.  How often have you heard someone say, “I meant to…”?  You have probably said it yourself.  This statement often accompanies some sort of apology.  Completion of your intentions comes from the corresponding action.  Meaning to do something without doing it doesn’t get the job done.

Words are our most precious form of communication, but actions are our most thorough.  Demonstrating our intentions gives them validity.  In certain circumstances, intentions can be appreciated more than actions, if the action somehow falls short.  But most of the time, it is someone’s actions that make the difference.  And when our intentions line up with God’s Word, our actions will always be profitable.  So, my conclusion is that intentions are significant and valuable, but without words or actions they don’t speak.  And therefore, it seems to me that actions speak the loudest. 

Note to my readers:  An interesting verse to consider on the topic of intentions is Hebrews 4:12.  Thanks for reading!

God is perfect.  Everything God says is perfect.  Everything God does is perfect.  Everything God created is perfect.  This begs the question, what happened?  Because it is obvious that the world is not perfect. 

Enter Lucifer.  He was the angel of light.  He was God’s top dog.  But he decided that wasn’t good enough for him and that he wanted to BE God.  So, he rallied a bunch of angels and went to war against The One True God and His angels.  The result of that battle left God’s creation in total disarray, and Lucifer and his angels banished from heaven.  In the Bible, the book of Genesis chronicles what God did to set the heaven and the earth back in order.  And it was perfect again until the serpent, which is what Lucifer had become, tricked Eve and caused Adam and Eve to sin against God.  That act introduced evil into the world, which is still present with us today.  And that evil brought with it, corruption, which has affected every natural thing.

That quick and very abbreviated history lesson serves as an introduction to what I really want to talk about, and that is LOVE. 

Love is a popular topic of conversation in February because of Valentines Day.  And Valentines Day is an example of the worldly idea of love.  And the worldly idea of love is less than perfect because the world has become less than perfect. 

Valentines Day has been a part of our lives since childhood.  When I was young, we took self-decorated boxes to school to receive all the valentines we would get from our classmates.  There would be a party with homemade cupcakes or cookies and the anticipation that we might get a special Valentine from that certain someone.   As we grew, Valentines Day continued to be a factor in our concept of what love should be.  In high school, couples who were ‘going steady’ were expected to share some kind of demonstration of their love on Valentines Day.  And even into adulthood, many couples still recognize the holiday in their relationship. 

I have nothing against Valentines Day.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with young people or adults wanting to recognize the occasion as an opportunity to celebrate their affection for one another.  More power to them!  But, just as in elementary school when we didn’t get that one special card in our box, Valentines Day can also open the door for disappointment or resentment even in adulthood. 

And why is that?  Because the worldly concept of love is corrupted.  The evil influences in the world have taken the perfect quality of God’s love and twisted it into a less than perfect copy.  The world took something marvelous like love and weaved in a little corruption, so that it could break your heart.

Valentines Day offers us an opportunity to declare our love one for another, and that’s a good thing.  But it also allows the world to dictate the standard of what that declaration should be.  For example, flowers are a standard Valentines Day gift.  What if I don’t receive flowers?  Do I get disappointed or angry?  If so, it would be because that worldly standard was not met.  And my response might even be to withhold my affection.  Love should not be rationed because of hurt feelings. 

In addition, we may adhere to a worldly definition of romance.  There is nothing wrong with romance.  Most women adore it.  But are we comparing our romance to some worldly standard?  Are we expecting our mates to act according to a story we read or a movie we watched?  The world is FULL of romantic stories.  But those stories can paint an unrealist picture of love that may not be present in our lives.  And because of that, we may become disheartened.  We may set a standard in our own minds that cannot be achieved, leaving us frustrated and unhappy.

The romantic notions of love are not necessarily corrupt in themselves.  But they become corrupted when they are imposed on someone as the only acceptable evidence of love.  Plus, the worldly standard of love could be unattainable, and therefore result in disappointment or failure.  That is how the corruption of the world is designed to work in all categories of life. 

I’m all for Valentines Day and all the romance you can muster, if it is a good fit for you and your mate.  But I am opposed to anyone being expected to conform to a worldly standard that oppresses them.  I put the worldly standard for love in the same category as the worldly standard for beauty.  Society promulgates the image of what should be considered beautiful.  Often it is an unrealistic standard.  Imagine how unhappy I would be if my husband wanted to hold me to the worldly standard of beauty, or vice versa!  Trying to measure up to that standard or just about any worldly standard is usually a losing proposition. 

Now to be clear, just because we repudiate the worldly standard of love, we still need demonstrate our affection for each other.  How could we claim to love someone and provide no evidence to substantiate our claim?  That would be like telling someone that you make the best chocolate chip cookies in the world, but never baking them to be tasted.  Your claim might be true, but without evidence, it’s just hollow words.  Actions speak louder than words! 

So, what is the solution?

Enter God’s love!

John 3:16 – For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

In one simple verse, God sets the true standard for love.  Love is giving.  Love is unselfish.  Love is putting someone else before yourself.  God demonstrated His love by giving us His only begotten son so that we would not perish but have everlasting life.  When we were at our worst, God gave us His best. Because He so loved us, we love Him and can show that love to others. 

Jesus Christ demonstrated God’s love and left us an example to follow.  He said, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”  (John 15:13)  That statement shows the great love that Jesus Christ had in his willingness to do whatever was needed to accomplish our salvation.  He was willing to give everything, even his life for us because he loved that much. 

Ler’s love one another according to God’s perfect standard rather than some worldly ideas that can leave us brokenhearted.  Celebrate Valentines Day if you want to, send cards, buy flowers, eat chocolates, be romantic.  But if Valentines Day activities are not your cup of tea, no worries.  Whatever you choose, remember, the most important thing is to give. 

Note to my readers:  Happy Valentines Day.  I sure love you!  Thanks for reading! 

In this part of Florida, it gets cold in January.  We can even have a freeze on occasion.  But normal January temperatures around here hover in the 50’s and 60’s.  Now I know to  northerners, that is NOT cold, and I would agree, having lived most of my life in the north.  But when you live in Florida, 50 degrees is COLD!  And if you are a native Floridian when the temperatures drop below 50, chances are you have on your winter coat, hat, scarf, gloves, and boots! 

The temperature disparity between the north and south is often a source of friendly banter.  Southerners like to tout their good fortune of having mild winter weather compared to the bitter cold and snow up north.  While northerners snicker at Floridians for wearing winter coats in temperatures that they would be wearing shorts and T-shirts.  And in the blistering swelter of Florida summers, the northerners like to tout their mild summertime temperatures.  We Floridians do not dispute that point, but we take full advantage of the ocean, lakes and swimming pools that are plentiful down here to mitigate the extreme summer  temperatures.  And we find that a much more pleasant solution than all the things the northerners must to do combat the extreme winter conditions they face.  But whether you live in the north or the south, both have seasons that make staying indoors, a desirable option. 

All of this is to say that people are adaptable.  When we move from the north to the south, or vice versa, our bodies eventually acclimate.  Adaptability is an innate quality of mankind.  People’s genetic make-up allows them to adapt to their habitat.  That’s why people can live in the deserts or the artic circle.

We understand and appreciate physical adaptability. But there is also mental adaptability.  We can find ourselves in new or different situations that we must adapt to in our minds.  And just as our bodies acclimate to new surroundings, our minds can adapt to new situations.   

Adapting in its simplest description is the ability to change.  Adapting in our minds is more than just acclimatizing like our bodies do; it involves purposeful changing.  Being adaptable in our minds is challenging ourselves, adjusting our thoughts, and working to establish a successful outcome.  Mental adaptability includes things like harmonizing, accommodating, flexibility and communication in certain situations.  And determination, stamina, and fortitude in others.  In every situation it requires patience.  It is becoming who we want or need to become.  Adapting in our minds is not ‘gritting our teeth and bearing it’, nor is it ‘just going with the flow’. It is NOT accepting a negative situation as permanent.  Adapting is being willing to change our minds and make the necessary adjustments in our actions to achieve the desired result. It is learning to deal successfully with the circumstances we cannot change, and having the gumption and patience to change the ones that we can.  Adapting can involve compromising, but never on our convictions. 

There are many new situations in life that require our minds to adapt.  A prime example would be marriage.  Two separate and distinct individuals make a commitment to live together as one flesh.  They must learn to adapt to one another, and that involves all the things listed above.  Having children is a life changing event that requires a lot of adapting.  Even a getting puppy entails being adaptable.  Getting a new job, moving, or other lifestyle changes usually require some kind of mental adaptability. 

Physically adapting is a response of our bodies to our environment.  If my body would not have physically adapted to Florida temperatures, I would be miserable every summer.  But it is acclimating, so the heat is not as oppressive to me as it was.  (It’s still HOT, but it doesn’t bother me as much as it did at first.)  Mentally adapting is a choice we make.  What if I had refused to mentally adapt to my husband or he to me?  We wouldn’t have a very happy marriage!

Sometimes we are faced with negative or even devastating situations.  How do we mentally adapt to those?  Firstly, by not giving up nor giving in!  Adapting to those kinds of situations in our minds is choosing to fight to achieve a successful outcome.  It is pursuing the actions we can take to receive our deliverance.  It is overcoming by becoming who we want or need to be.  It is being patient.  It is not accepting the situation as permanent nor is it allowing the situation to rob us of our convictions.

I know a beautiful young lady who was paralyzed in a freak accident in college.  Right after the accident, she could not breath on her own, eat, feel or move any part of her body from the neck down.  But she did not give in to that situation.  She worked very hard toward her recovery, believing God every step of the way.  Despite what the circumstance looked like to the 5 senses; she remained undaunted in her efforts to get better.  And God has provided her with remarkable healing that has far exceeded many doctors’ expectations.  She is happily married, has earned a master’s degree in English, and is working on her PhD. These, among many other impressive accomplishments, have paved the way toward her desired outcome.   She adapted to her situation by NOT giving up, but by pushing forward with God’s help to progress her improvement.  And by keeping her confidence in God’s ability, she expects to receive complete deliverance from her injury and is well on her way to getting it.  She is an inspiration to all!

So, the conclusion of the matter is…  God designed human beings to be adaptable (able to change) so that we can grow and thrive.  Both our physical bodies and our minds react and adapt to what they are fed.  There are multi-million-dollar industries that cater to what we feed our bodies.  But what about our minds?  We must consider their food as well.  Just like the food we put in our mouths gets processed to provide nourishment to our bodies; the food we put in our minds gets processed to provide nourishment to our hearts (the innermost part of our mind – the seat of our unwavering convictions).  Now to the best part!  When we feed the truth of God’s Word to our minds, that truth nourishes our hearts.  Then the truth in our hearts directs our minds, and our minds direct our bodies.  So, bottom line – our minds and  bodies will adapt to the truth we know! 

John 17:17  – Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth.

God gave us free will.  Which means that our minds can adapt, but it is up to us whether they do or not.  People accomplish many things by the determination of their will.  But the truly remarkable accomplishments entail trusting God and the power of His might.  With God’s help, we don’t merely get by, we flourish! 

Note to my readers:  We can face any situation without fear, because with God’s help, we can adapt!  Thanks for reading. 

When our kids were young and we would play games, if one of their efforts failed, they would want a ‘do-over’.  They did not want to accept their wrong answer or bad move, and they thought they should get a chance to make it right.  Even as grownups, people often want an opportunity for a do-over when they are faced with challenges. 

My Christmas dinner this year didn’t turn out well.  It seemed that everything I made was overcooked.  My ham was tough, my rolls were burned, my veggies were mushy, and cheesecake was dry.  None of it was inedible, but it wasn’t my best effort.  I wanted a do-over! 

And that got me thinking…  What is a do-over, really?  Well, Merriam Webster says that a do-over is, “a new attempt or opportunity to do something after a previous attempt has been unsuccessful or unsatisfactory.”  

Kids may experience do-overs in school.  They could have chances to fix an answer or enhance an assignment before it gets a final grade.  And all through school and even in the workplace, submitting a “first draft” for review is common practice.  Doing a second, third or fourth draft is basically a do-over.   Perhaps a child (or adult) is learning to play a musical instrument or a physical sport.  Those are full of do-overs – they’re called “practice”. 

Life changes can be do-overs.  Life changes can happen by choice or by circumstance.  Either way, big changes offer chances for big do-overs.  Life changes can be things like moving, getting a new job, getting married or divorced, or having a baby.  A life change by choice is a decision we make.  We want a change in our life, so we choose a do-over.   A life change by circumstance is a change that is forced on us and we must determine how we are doing to deal with it, which generally means a do-over.  In either situation , a do-over can have unexpectedly wonderful results. 

There is yet another kind of do-over that affects both children and adults alike, and that is TIME.  We can consider each new day as a do-over.   Have you ever laid down at night after a really crummy day and thought, ‘Boy, I’m glad this day is over’?  Waking up in the morning qualifies as a do-over.  It is a chance to have a better day – a chance to try again.  A new day can’t change what happened yesterday, but it can give us a chance to move on, get a start fresh, regroup, or change our minds.  It automatically provides a new opportunity. 

People often celebrate the new year with the expectation that the new year will fix all the ills of the last year.  That is basically making the new year, one great big do-over!  Now, I’ve seen a lot of new years in my life.  And some of them were better than the previous year, and some were not.  But I still look at each new year as a new beginning – a do-over.  Why not have positive expectations?    

Any mistakes can have do-overs.  I can’t go back and redo our Christmas dinner, but I could make another dinner that is cooked properly.  Or I can make Christmas dinner again next year.  I can learn from what went wrong so I don’t do it again.  Any of those would be do-overs. 

We cannot change the past by a do-over, but we CAN do things today to make things of the past better, or sometimes even go away.  For example, if we say something hurtful, a sincere apology can be a do-over.  An apology cannot un-speak the words, but it can pull a cover over them.  And should the recipient accept the apology, those words can be forgotten. But unfortunately, they cannot be unspoken.   

We can think of do-overs as opportunities to learn, or chances to do better next time.  We can consider do-overs as steppingstones for growth, because really, some of our greatest learning and growing come from fixing our mistakes. 

Our lives are full of opportunities for do-overs, but there is one DO-OVER we cannot ignore.  There is one, “new attempt or opportunity to do something after a previous attempt has been unsuccessful or unsatisfactory”, which is essential for a victorious life.  And that do-over is getting born again.  It is the ultimate do-over!  It changes everything!  It offers us the best avenue for success because it provides us with God’s solutions.  It puts our past attempts where they belong – in the past.  And it gives us a brand-new life full of promises and rewards.  It gives us access to God’s heart and His guidance.  It allows God to have a relationship with us!  And it gives us eternal life!!  What more important do-over could we do than this? 

Romans 10:9 – 10 That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.  For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.

When we are saved, we have God’s power and authority to live a more than abundant life.  And we can live that life free from satan’s deception and oppression because Jesus Christ paid the full price to secure our redemption and reconciliation to God. 

Galatians 2:20  I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless, I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.

Even though we have this marvelous new more-than-abundant life, we still subsist in this world with all its trials and temptations.  We still make mistakes, and sometimes bad things happen.  But we can always seize the opportunity for a do-over, and with God on our side, we can claim that “the future is as bright as the promised of God.”

Note to my readers:  Enjoy all your do-overs.  And if you don’t like your do-over, do-it-over again!  Thanks for reading! 

Tis the season to be jolly!  That familiar song lyric speaks of this time of year.  This is the holiday season!  Christmas and the other religious celebrations at this time of year are meant to be joyous occasions.  And they are quickly followed by the New Year’s Eve celebration, which is traditionally an uproarious good time. 

In general, people like to celebrate.  They want to be happy!  Even the ancients had designated holidays.  There were celebrations for harvest, for planting, for the cycle of the moon, for the solstices, for commemorating notable events, and various other reasons.  Although some of these were designed as solemn remembrances, most were meant to be festive occasions.  It is the same today.  In our country we have solemn holidays that honor fallen heroes, but most of our holidays are celebrations of life.

Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Jesus.  Although, December 25^th is not the accurate date of his birth, we can rejoice that people in our country are still celebrating Jesus Christ when it isn’t necessarily the popular thing to do in the current climate.  

One of my favorite sections of scripture is in the Gospel of Luke regarding Jesus’s birth.

Luke 2:4–14  (KJV)  And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:)  To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.  And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.  And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.  And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.  And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.  And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.  For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.  And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.  And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

Talk about a momentous occasion worthy of celebration!  The whole world changed that night.  The angel told the shepherds, “I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.”  We are included in “all people”! GREAT JOY!  That’s an understatement!  We are still experiencing that great joy over two-thousand years later! 

The great thing about this Biblical joy is that it not dependent on our surroundings.  In fact, we can have this joy even if we’re in a bad state.  The great joy of that night in Bethlehem is a spiritual joy that we have now as Christians.  Jesus Christ was born and lived his life perfectly, then he was crucified, resurrected, and ascended into heaven. Because of all that, we have the gift of holy spirit in us and all the rights and privileges of being a son of God.  There is nothing in this world that can change that or take it away from us.  We are going to heaven and all hell cannot stop us!  When we remember this, we have great joy!  And rightfully so!  If our surroundings are crummy or we’re sick or broken-hearted, we still can have joy because the greatness of what we have in Christ surmounts whatever we’re facing in the world.

The Bible also says that God has given us the victory. (1 Corinthians 15:57)  If God gave it to us, it is OURS.  We have the victory now.  We may not see it in every situation we face, but in the end, when all is said and done, our victory is guaranteed!  Knowing that gives us joy regardless of what our eyes see. 

The proclamation that the angel spoke that night in Bethlehem still resounds in our hearts today.  We rejoice because we have a Savior who was born, lived, died and was raised from the dead, who ever lives to make intercession for us. 

So, claim the joy that has been given to you!  Enjoy this time of year with all its spectacle.  Enjoy spending time with your loved ones.  Enjoy the quiet peace of the night before Christmas and the excitement of Christmas morning.  Enjoy the cookies and dinners with all the fixings.  Enjoy giving gifts and receiving them.  But most of all, enjoy the love that your Heavenly Father has shown you by giving you His only begotten son so that you can be saved and have a life in His presence and with Christ Jesus that lasts FOREVER! 

Merry Christmas. Happy Holidays.  Prosperous New Year.  God’s Blessings!  REJOICE!

Note to my readers:  No matter what presents you receive this holiday, don’t forget to open your gift of joy.  Thanks for reading! 

I apologize for the delay of my post, but family matters have filled my time and my mind for the last few weeks.  When I did have time, my mind was a flurry.  When my mind would settle, my time was spoken for.  And in the midst of all that, I seemed to have had writer’s block.  I could not decide what to write because so many things were going on in my mind. 

Then, I thought about a patchwork quilt. 

Although quilts date back to ancient times, we are probably more familiar with the early American examples.  At that time in our country, fabric was ver expensive and hard to come by. Most of it had to be imported from Europe.  So, the industrious pioneers utilized every scrap of that precious fabric to the best of their ability.  And without the modern convenience of central heating systems in their homes, they needed  the warmth of many blankets.  So, patchwork quilts were born out of necessity, but quickly grew into colorful expressions of art. 

I found this interesting…  Loosely quoted from the Encyclopedia Britannica:

In the early 19^th century, American produced cotton became readily available in an array of prints and colors, thus enabling more pieced and appliqued quilts to be affordable.  The invention of the sewing machine in the 1840s radically changed household sewing. Thanks to the pay-by-installment plan popularized by I.M. Singer, many had access to a treadle machine that quickly finished essential sewing, leaving time for more leisurely pursuits like embroidery and quilting.

I tell you all this because I think of our minds like patchwork quilts.  We take a thought from here, one from there, and another from somewhere else and sew them together to make a quilt that is exclusively ours. We determine what thoughts to put into our quilts and the overall design that we want our quilts to be.  There are not only unique and special thoughts in our quilts, but also many common useful ones.  Vibrantly colorful and solidly strong thoughts make the best quilts.  And ragged ugly thoughts make dreadful ones.  If a thought in our quilt gets worn out, we can replace it with a better one. We are thrifty to not waste thoughts, and careful to be good stewards of our quilts.  The finished product is an incomparable mix of the memories that left impressions on our hearts and the ideas that help move us forward.  And all the thoughts together make one wonderfully unique and beautiful expression of our lives.  Thoughts upon thoughts, our quilts are constantly growing and changing. 

Colors and patterns vary from quilt to quilt, and some quilts might even clash with ours.  A quilt may be simple, and another complicated.  Some quilts are made with bright bold colors, while others have subtle shades.  Some quilts are organized, and others may be scatterbrained.  We may enjoy another’s quilt or find someone’s quilt annoying.  Regardless of what we might think of anyone’s quilt, we are only responsible for our own.  That is not to say that we cannot help someone with their quilt, but in the end, every quilt can only be maintained by its owner. 

If you have ever quilted or known a quilter, you know that the particular fabrics used in a quilt can make or break the finished product.  If substandard fabric is used, the quilt will fade or tear, or wear out too quickly.  If the fabric’s colors and patterns don’t mesh, the result is not pleasing.  No quilter would choose such fabrics.  Furthermore, making a quilt is a meticulous labor of love.  Considering all the work involved, a quilter pays attention to details to facilitate the most desirable outcome.  If care is not taken to sew the fabrics together correctly, the quilt can easily fall apart.  If the workmanship is shoddy, it will be readily apparent. 

The same is true of our mind’s quilts.  We cannot allow substandard thoughts into our quilt.  They will undermine its quality.  We must make every effort to put the best and most congruent thoughts in our minds so that our quilt is the most functional and beautiful.  We cannot ‘cut corners’ or take shortcuts when assembling our mind’s quilt.  We must keep the desired finished product in the forefront of our thinking and work diligently toward that goal. 

Outstanding quilts contain beautiful fabrics, intricate details, and spectacular workmanship.  I’ve seen quilts with a million tiny pieces put together with mind-boggling precision.  I’ve seen ones with amazingly intricate stitching and others with the most eye-catching fabrics.  And I admired all of them, not only for their beauty, but also for all the skill that went into making them. 

Having outstanding mind quilts, requires using beautiful thoughts, intricate attention to detail, and our best workmanship.  When we have those things, the finished product will be pleasing, not only to ourselves, but also to all who know us.  The quality of our labor will be easily recognizable. 

The most beautiful and profitable thoughts that we can put into our mind’s quilt are the thoughts of God’s Word.  We search the scriptures with attention to detail for the thoughts we need.  We demonstrate our workmanship by rightly dividing the Word of God (2 Timothy 2:15).  Then when we sew the perfect thoughts of God’s Word with intricate stitches of red thread, we will have a glorious quilt that is an expression of all the great things that God has given us.  Our mind’s quilt will reflect the love of God, protect us from the cold harsh world, and keep our minds at peace.  And just like the early pioneers developed their quilting skills, we can develop our skills in making our mind’s quilt. Our quilts can go beyond the level of bare necessity, into a wonderfully artful expression of the goodness of God.

 Note to my readers:  Happy quilting!  Thanks for reading!